<p>it should look exactly like this:</p>
<p>"No. 10 char"</p>
<p>^ a CC-reference! :)</p>
<p>Dear _______,</p>
<p>Yeah right.</p>
<p>Dear __________,</p>
<p>We are sorry to inform you that although you were one of our brightest, well-rounded, and outstanding applicants, we had to choose you over students with a GPA and SAT lower than yours and with almost no leadership activities. Your 2240 SAT and 4.28 GPA, as well as your experience in the leadership positions and internship field, were incompetent to the 2150 SAT scores and 4.15 GPAs out there. Do not consider this to be your fault. You are not at fault, maybe except for the fact that you're an energetic and willing 17 year-old applying to top-tier colleges like us, so do not blame yourself for this rejection. I'm sure your counselors told you passion and dedication would get you somewhere. Not so much the truth, is it? Yes, reality hurts. But... if you truly love our school, then you CAN spend two years at a community college, where your pride and self-esteem may be squashed, and apply as a transfer student. Thank you for remembering us during your college application process, even though we won't remember you 2 years down the road. Attached is the receipt for $18. We used rush delivery just so that you would not have to wait at your computer for 12 hours. Please send all checks and cash to my secretary, Elle Woods. 123456 Icrushedyourfantasy Road, YourDream College, CA, 98765</p>
<p>Warm regards,
Dean of Admissions</p>
<p>Dear_______________,
You could have used this money for courses at your local community college. Guess not, huh?</p>
<p>Best Wishes,
Dean of Admissions</p>
<p>P.S. It means you got rejected.
P.S.S If you just figured it out, please kill yourself.
P.S.S.S If you still think this is a prank, try to kill yourself a little faster, please.</p>
<p>Dear future Stanford applicant,</p>
<p>We here at the Stanford Undergraduate Admissions Office pride ourselves in providing the best possible service to our applicants. Therefore, we would like to offer you a few words of friendly advice before you take the plunge. DON’T DO IT! We mean, of course, go ahead and send us that $75 so we can get this dirty business over with. But seriously, don’t even bother writing that essay. Here at Stanford, we look for “intellectual vitality.” You are about as interesting as a dead leaf, so don’t even try to prove your vitality to us. We’re not THAT stupid.</p>
<p>Actually, we’ve been thinking. We’re saving you quite a bit of time and money here. You won’t have to write those 10 essays, bug that unpleasant teacher of yours about recommendation letters, or spend money buying stamps and self-sealing 9</p>
<p>Dear ____,
Congratulations! You're in with a full ride!
Sincerely,</p>
<hr>
<p>4/1/09</p>
<p>(April Fools!)</p>
<p>EDIT: damn, static got it first</p>
<p>
[quote]
it should look exactly like this:</p>
<p>"No. 10 char"</p>
<p>^ a CC-reference!
[/quote]
Ha nice one.</p>
<p>I say</p>
<p>Dear Loser</p>
<p>You just lost your spot to a better, sexier and more intelligent applicant.
May we suggest a university for you? Loser University, you'll find a home there for you with all the other losers.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Mr. Awesome
Dean of Yale.</p>
<p>Dear Applicant,</p>
<p>We'd love to admit you, but if we did, we'd have to admit all the other people too, which isn't fair to all those who actually achieved something during their high school years.</p>
<p>Thus, I am sorry to say that after thorough review of your application and credentials, we believe you do not belong here at our institution.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<hr>
<p>This thread is just evil...</p>
<p>
<p>Fail."
</p>
<p>Oh, I'm loving this one! :)</p>
<p>Dear Applicant,</p>
<p>Every year we get several truly exceptional applications. This year it was yours that was voted most exceptional by our admissions staff for several reasons.</p>
<p>First, we have never had a 500 word essay with more typos in the 240 year history of the college.</p>
<p>Second, while we often get one recommendation that is not enthusiastic about a candidate, it is rare when we receive two teacher references and one from a counselor warning us against accepting a candidate as we did in your case.</p>
<p>Further, while we do take a holistic approach to admissions, it is unusual for us to see a candidate who ranks in the top 92% of his class. This, combined with the lowest achievable score on each section of the SAT, rendered you our lowest stats applicant this year.</p>
<p>And while we appreciate your passion for all things African, and are impressed by the photos of your African safari, this passion does not entitle you to check the African American box.</p>
<p>Finally, while we do have sympathy for those with obsessive disorders, your obsession with guns that resulted in the incident at your high school is not something we can overlook despite your four page plea.</p>
<p>Therefore, we regret to inform you..........</p>
<p>Dear applicant...</p>
<p>We are sorry to inform you that...</p>
<p>Need we even say?</p>
<p>This thread is made of so much win in so many horrible ways.... XD</p>
<p>^I concur. 10char</p>
<p>
[quote]
And while we appreciate your passion for all things African, and are impressed by the photos of your African safari, this passion does not entitle you to check the African American box.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Made me laugh out loud! Too funny. Although the gun reference was pretty good too. :)</p>
<p>Dear applicant,</p>
<p>There's always community college.</p>
<p>xoxo,
Dean of Admissions</p>
<p>If any colleges actually sent out these rejection letters, I'd gladly take community college anyday :P</p>
<p>Dear NY State Resident,</p>
<p>Thank you for your application to the State of University of New York. Possibly your guidance counselor did not inform you that there were many applications this year and that we feel compelled to give preference to out of state people. </p>
<p>Alternative I -- you can start in January</p>
<p>Alternative II -- we will give you priority as a transfer student (totally f**king worthless -- "priority" ?)</p>
<p>Thanks for your $40 sucker.</p>
<p>Yours very truly,</p>
<p>Arrogant SUNY Adcom, which is unaccountable to either state taxpayers or applicants.</p>
<p>PS Do not start a campaign to state lawmakers to make us accountable. You are meaningless. Go to community college while out of states with lesser stats go to the flagship Us your parents are paying for.</p>
<p>To Charly,</p>
<p>CONGRATULATIONS!</p>
<p>No one wants you!</p>
<p>Overall, your application was the worst we have ever seen. It made every person that read it dumber. </p>
<p>The essay you wrote about the little tiger that grew up to be a a bear was not only idiotic it was compeltely off topic. No where, in that 300 word mess did you even attempt to answer the prompt. </p>
<p>The teacher recommendations that you sent in could not have been written by a teacher. Both of them were just poorly drawn kittens with a text box that read, "Piick Chawly!" This is the worst attempt at a forged recommendation in college applciation history. </p>
<p>Your SAT scores were a farce. A 600 total? Do you do drugs? Fail to take your meds?</p>
<p>Not only did you not contribute to society with your community service, you hurt it. Drug dealing does not count as community service. </p>
<p>Your GPA is almost impossible to achieve. A 0.00? Really? REALLY? Go back to school and stay there for as long as is legally possible.</p>
<p>What a horrendous waste of time this application was. You are the first applicant we have ever denied acceptance to, and with good measure. Do not ever apply to this school again. EVER. We burned your application and will burn any future applications from your address. </p>
<p>May God have mercy on your soul.</p>
<p>Sincerely,
Dr. James Corduroy
Dean of Admissions
5 Towns Community Colelge.</p>
<p>international?</p>
<p>Dear sonicexx,</p>
<p>After holistic review of your financial aid application, we regret to inform you that you have been rejected.</p>