<p>So this might be a bit of an awkward post, but since this is college "confidential" I thought it might be a good place to bring up my concerns. I will be attending UW next fall as an entering Freshman. I'm gay and was wondering what the climate around the University is for acceptance and such. I'm not flamboyant at all (my own friends had no idea I was gay until after I told them...they were very surprised). I know Madison is known for being very liberal, but I can't see the University being the Brown of the Midwest (unfortunately). I was also curious about what people think about coming out to a roommate. Would you reccommend doing this before meeting (like on Facebook) or after arriving? </p>
<p>Thanks for any help! Sorry for the awkward topic!</p>
<p>I’m a lesbian and a freshman at Madison. I will say that while it is very tolerant, it can be hard to find other LGBT people if you don’t get involved in LGBT clubs and such. The dominant culture is very heteronormative. If you go to a party, for instance, it’s almost impossible to find someone who doesn’t want to get with the opposite sex. No one will judge you, but you might have a slightly difficult time finding like-minded individuals if you don’t want to get involved in clubs (which can occasionally be a little too political for my tastes).</p>
<p>Definitely don’t go Greek if you plan on being out. I’ve always wanted to be in a sorority so I went with that (and perhaps put myself in the above situation more than others) and it’s extremely heteronormative and a bit homophobic. I realize Greek life doesn’t appeal to many LGBT people, but if you do have interest, just know that. I myself have to be lightly closeted in the Greek scene and I expect it’s worse for guys.</p>
<p>Coming out to your roommate should be done when you get to school. I personally hate the idea that I <em>have</em> to come out as I don’t think anyone owns that information, but it is more courteous. Just talk to your roommate about it and pledge to keep the same rules for having guys over as he does with having girls over. If he does have some issues just keep in mind that they are HIS issues and not yours and you are not doing anything wrong or being a bad roommate.</p>
<p>Also, don’t think it’s an awkward topic. Be proud! :)</p>
<p>RoxSox, you have no idea how much your message just meant to me. It’s not that I’m not proud of who I am, it’s just that I come from a very rural conservative area where I have to watch what I do and say. I do plan on joining an LGBT group when I get there next year…how do I go about joining one exactly? I’m nervous about the whole roommate thing, but hopefully I will get one that is accepting and really cool with it. Thanks for the post!</p>
<p>Yeah, you don’t have to watch what you do or say here. It took me a little while to come out to my friends here, but they didn’t mind at all. Try going to the student org fair which will happen during the first week of school, there are a few that will be delighted to have you sign up - they’re super friendly. You’ll get put on the mailing list with info about meetings. (Don’t be like me and get the emails but never go, lol!)</p>
<p>I hope you get a good roommate as well! If it’s a huge problem you could always switch rooms. Though as a matter of principle your roommate should switch, but people can be silly sometimes.</p>
<p>HUGE problem with RoxSox’s message of “if you want to be out, don’t go Greek.” I was in the UW Greek system, participated in UW Humorology, and knew a good 5-10 other gay men throughout the greek system. Also had a friend who was a lesbian in a sorority. It certainly can be a challenging environment, given that most “socials” are set-up on along a male/female gender normative basis. That being said, the brotherhood I formed with the men of my house is something that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. It was an amazing experience and worked well for me since I’d been out for the entirety of high school as well and most of my friends were straight men and women. I will say that it was MUCH more difficult for my lesbian friend in her sorority than it was for me or any of the other gay guys I know in the greek system. The guys seemed to be very “live and let live” with the sorority being VERY concerned about outside perceptions of their house and the impact of having a lesbian.</p>
<p>Madison is an EXTREMELY gay-friendly city. Outlying suburbs can pose somewhat of an issue, but honestly, within Madison, some estimates have been as high as 1 in 5 are LGBT. Many gay Madisonians are older, many college age 18-23, few 23-30, MANY 30+. Very FAMILY-oriented LGBT community, very high number of lesbians, and many same-sex couples now parenting throughout Dane County. Can’t tell you the number of kids I’ve met in my time at UW, randomly at house parties or whatever, where you start having a conversation and it comes up that they have two moms or two dads. </p>
<p>Fond memories from throughout my first four years here. Handle your transition smartly–there will be many temptations coming from a small, rural, conservative place and going into a larger, more urban, extremely liberal setting where you really can live “openly.” Just don’t go crazy and respect other people’s boundaries (especially any initial apprehension from roommates). This is a growing experience for EVERYONE and those around you can greatly benefit from knowing you early on in college.</p>
<p>Good luck. Forge a path at UW and leave an impact like SO many of the LGBT student leaders on campus have done before you.</p>
<p>MNBadger - no idea the frats were so accepting. My sorority would definitely judge me for being a lesbian and these socials and crush parties are getting old…lol.</p>
<p>Also I need to find out where all these LGBT people are! All my friends are straight!</p>
It’s not that I’m not proud of who I am, it’s just that I come from a very rural conservative area where I have to watch what I do and say. 
I do plan on joining an LGBT group when I get there next year…how do I go about joining one exactly?