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<p>The dictionary definition of feminism is the belief that men and women should be equal in legal and social terms. No feminist is claiming the definition of feminism is different.</p>
<p>Also stressedouttt, do you really find nothing wrong with what OP is saying/implying?</p>
<p>From this discussion it seems the OP is hoping for an MRS degree out of college. I would recommend looking at BYU.</p>
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<p>Unless they’re having sex in front of her, how on earth would she know if someone engages in “gay behavior”? I imagine most people would rather not go to school someplace where large numbers of students thought it was acceptable to have sex in front of unwilling onlookers or to describe their sexual exploits in graphic detail, regardless of the combinations of genitals involved.</p>
<p>Of course, there’s always the possibility that “gay behavior” is code for “going on about their lives as if they were just as entitled to them as actual - you know, straight - people.”</p>
<p>Re “queer colleges”: as far as I know, there is no college anywhere that uses queerness as as the basis for its academic programs, mission statement or admissions policies. However, if you are defining a “queer college” as a place where you might meet or see gay people, then you’d better accept the fact that you are living in a “queer” world, no matter where you go to school.</p>
<p>“I am in no way a homophobe”</p>
<p>Yes you are.</p>
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A dictionary definition has much left to be desired. The way the word is used determines it’s meaning. When some people hear (and use) the world “feminist,” they consider it to come with the implications of more radical beliefs or that it implies one is extremely passionate about women’s rights.
Either way, arguments about the definitions of words are pointless. It’s what one actually believes, regardless of what an individual calls those beliefs, that’s important. I don’t think it’s fair to accuse the OP of believing that men and women shouldn’t have the same rights without being sure if that’s the case or not.</p>
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You misunderstood me.
What I understand from OP’s posts is that she is wondering if stereotypes and rumors that she has heard about colleges with larger LGBTQ populations are true or not, which can be answered with a simple yes or no. But many posters seem to accuse her of believing those stereotypes and rumors.</p>
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<p>CCers are getting upset at OP saying stuff like that^. OPs claiming not to be a homophobe, but at the same time saying she doesn’t want too many gay people around.</p>
<p>I found out last year that a friend’s daughter (whom I had not met) majored in Women’s Studies at Wellesley. The friend complained that when he told peers about her, he often found himself working to break the mental image they had conjured up of the daughter as a left-leaning lesbian activist. She is in fact a straight, staunchly right-wing conservative. </p>
<p>Based on that experience, I’m compelled to jump in and defend Pbunny’s question like others have before me. One concern she expressed is that by attending a particular school she will in some people’s minds unwittingly subject herself to a certain stereotype, whether good or bad. </p>
<p>Pbunny, some people will indeed jump to conclusions about you based on where you go to school and what you choose to do or study there. That can be a legitimate factor in your college decision process. Often those stereotypes have some basis in reality, so if they offend you, it is important to look deeper to find the truth.</p>
<p>But, please don’t let internet posts and rumors stop you from applying to schools. Make your decision about where to attend based on campus visits, factual research about the schools, and conversations directly with people who are in attendance or on the faculty or staff. And ultimately, try to stay open minded to the differences you will find among your fellow students at whatever school you choose. The transformative power of collaboration among divergent personalities is one of the great drivers of our higher education system.</p>
<p>Stressedoutt, you also seem to be “rewriting” the OP’s original post to give it more honorable intentions than she clearly had in her initial question. You may wish she had asked a different question, but she really didn’t…</p>
<p>Okay, this is actually getting ridiculous. Oh the irony that the people who yell “TOLERANCE” the loudest are the ones who attack others who have even a slightly different view point.
Some people are simply not as comfortable around gay people as others and would prefer a more homogeneous environment. Is that homophobic? Probably to some extent. Does that mean they hate gay people and are a horrible person and want all gay rights taken away? No.
Lastly, this whole “feminist” argument is ridiculous. I’m not a feminist and I’m a woman. And by that I don’t mean I want to not be allowed to attend college, to have men inherit all my property, to not be able to vote, etc. Modern American feminists are not advocating for these things–because they are already the NORM. She obviously meant she doesn’t believe in radical feminism–I.e. the kind of thinking that makes women think men holdings doors open for them of paying for their dinner on a date is offensive. The kind that wear tampon earrings (it was in the news!) and what not. And you obviously knew that intparent, modern day feminists are a whole different breed from Susan B Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton.</p>
<p>I don’t understand the implication here that all things are to be tolerated equally. Would you allow people to keep sex slaves in the name of tolerance? Or “tolerate” wife-beating? Some things are intolerable. </p>
<p>I don’t exactly like it that some people are uncomfortable around gay people, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say they must feel otherwise. What I object to, however, is the expectation that gay people need to tailor their behavior so as not to be “in the face” of people who don’t like them. </p>
<p>Nobody should be, as some poster suggested earlier, sticking his or her tongue down someone else’s throat in public. That’s just bad behavior. But should gay people have to keep their romantic attachments secret so that we can be tolerant of the sensitivities of people who aren’t comfortable with homosexuality? I don’t think so. I think the desire of gay people to pair up, and to have those attachments recognized by others, in the same ways that straight people do is more deserving of tolerance than the sensitivities of people who don’t like them.</p>
<p>kickemoff, let’s think about this for a moment. You are criticizing those individuals who are intolerant of intolerance. Therefore, you are also intolerant of intolerance, thereby falling into the same group of individuals whom you are posting against. It’s funny how hypocrisy works, huh?</p>
<p>I would like to change the fact that OP believes that gay people simply living their lives are “in her face” - undesirable to her - and if you don’t like it, then too bad.</p>
<p>"Alabama is called “Literally 98% of our students are straight U”</p>
<p>I have never heard that and I doubt that’s true. Their Spectrum group is very popular and active.</p>
<p>Mom2ck, I’m not the one who wrote that, but I am quite sure RyanMK was being facetious. </p>
<p>Time to put new batteries in the sarcasm detector, mom? ;)</p>
<p>Sikorsky, I’m not suggesting gay people should be forced to hide their affections/relationships. All I said was the writer of this post seems to not be comfortable around this, and is trying to avoid it, not eradicate this behavior. She’s not suggesting she thinks gay people should stop existing. Please don’t compare her hesitance to be on a campus with a larger gay population as being tolerant to wife-beating and sex slavery. I was defending the idea that everyone has the right to their own opinion, popular or not, not their right to break the law. Really?</p>
<p>RyanMK, no I’m not intolerant of tolerance, I’m intolerant of people attacking a 17 year old kid who had no ill will or bad intentions when she posted this. She basically said the same thing as I prefer a more conservative atmosphere. That’s where she thinks she’d be more comfortable. She was just more honest and politically incorrect. And no, I’m not posting against the OP, I’m actually trying to defend her. So now I’m a bigot by your logic, I understand. The difference is I don’t see her post as intolerant. If I want to go to a campus with more Christians because I am, does that make me prejudiced against other religions? Think about it, that’s just “less Jews, Muslims, etc.” reworded. I don’t think so, it’s just wanting to attend a college where similar ideals and lifestyles are shared. She simply stated she was worried about the atmosphere at these colleges because she didn’t think it was her scene, and she’s trying to pick the best one for her.</p>
<p>Also, good job, I’m sure you’ve won her over to the side of “tolerance” by attacking her.</p>
<p>I think I have several quibbles with what you’re saying, kickemoff.</p>
<p>First of all, I would contend that “politically incorrect” is a category of incorrect. It’s okay to say, “I want to be on campus that is politically and socially conservative.” It’s not okay to say that by saying, “I don’t want gay people in my face.” The wording matters. It isn’t all right to express what you want in a way that calls out other groups, especially if it calls them out in a way that marginalizes or disparages them. And she didn’t say she wants to be with straight people. She said she doesn’t want to be with too many gay people.</p>
<p>After my last post, I was worried that you would think I was trying to equate the OP’s statements with sex slavery or wife beating. I was not. I was merely using them as examples to illustrate my point that not every position deserves to be tolerated. I created the possibility for that confusion, though and I apologize for that. I also apologize if it seemed to Pbunny that I was trying to be quite her with wife beaters. That kind of hyperbole would be hard to excuse.</p>
<p>Finally, I’m not at all convinced that a better way to combat intolerance is by tolerating it. That makes no sense at all!</p>
<p>@mom2collegekids, Sikorsky was right, I was making things up to prove a point. I did choose schools in regions which tended to be “less gay”, but I didn’t actually mean to imply that the schools were more straight than others.</p>
<p>@kickemoff, I never said you were intolerant of tolerance. I never called you a bigot. I never said there was anything wrong with wanting to attend a more conservative college. Please stop putting words in my mouth when I never said nor meant to say them. All I was trying to do was show how there’s really no rational way one can say that gay people are in anyone’s face, when thy make up 10% of the general population at max. If she had said the same thing about Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc, I would have said the same thing. When you are a member of a vast majority, it is hypocritical at best to accuse the minority of being in your face, when the minority has to deal with it all the time, on a far larger scale. So no, I’m not attacking OP.</p>
<p>Edit:Proofreading</p>
<p>Ah, kickemoff, I get it. You want the benefits of feminism… but you don’t want it “in your face”. That is even more disingenous than the OP’s argument, as you are part of the very group that benefits from feminism. You probably should give up any birth control you and your kids are using, as feminism brought you the right to use that as well (even within marriage, in a Supreme Court ruling took place within my lifetime). And if you have any daughters or nieces or eventually granddaughters who play sports in school, they might want to ditch those (as you can’t support Title IX because that was pushed through by those horrible feminists). The women who accomplished those things were considered radical feminists. You are mixing petty small things (tampon earrings? You would lump all feminist political activity, much of it you have benefited from, with THAT?) with the larger movement that you benefit from tremendously every day. And millions of women around the world don’t have those rights now – do you really think we have no more need of this, or that women’s rights could never backslide in this country? It reminds me of people who don’t vaccinate and don’t have a clear medical reason for it… they rely on herd immunity because others do the heavy lifting for them.</p>
<p>For the OP. FYI, the colleges in your post don’t even make the top 25 in the Campus Pride index:</p>
<p>[BACK</a> TO CAMPUS: Campus Pride?s 2013 Top 25 LGBT-friendly Colleges & Universities announced in partnership with the Huffington Post | Campus Pride | The leading national organization for LGBT student leaders and campus groups](<a href=“http://www.campuspride.org/back-to-campus-campus-prides-2013-top-25-lgbt-friendly-colleges-universities-announced-in-partnership-with-the-huffington-post/]BACK”>http://www.campuspride.org/back-to-campus-campus-prides-2013-top-25-lgbt-friendly-colleges-universities-announced-in-partnership-with-the-huffington-post/) </p>
<p>So you can rest easy that even if you do apply, there are probably colleges where LGBT student might be more “in your face” than the ones you listed. </p>
<p>Princeton Review has a list of least LGBT friendly colleges that I would have linked to in order to help you out, but you need an ID to get to it (probably free to register, I didn’t try).</p>
<p>Just a note- For those reading this thread who are looking FOR gay-friendly campuses, the Campus Pride ratings don’t include schools with fewer than 2,500 students, so some very gay-friendly LACs like Hampshire, Bard and Sarah Lawrence are left off the list.</p>
<p>Intparent, I can see we will never come upon an agreement. I am not someone who hates my own sex, I am grateful for all the rights I have and for those who gained them for women today but I frankly don’t believe that as a US citizen there are any rights that I lack as a woman in the MODERN day, 2013 that make me unequal to a man in society. Do you understand I appreciate the efforts of feminists from the past but don’t believe it’s necessary at this point because we gained all the rights we should have? Once you achieve women’s suffrage, and all those other rights listed, why does the cause need to continue? That’s why I don’t believe in it: there’s no cause left (in the US).</p>
<p>And to counter your point, I find it offensive that you believe that feminism is still necessary in this country when women in other countries have none of these multitude of rights to enjoy that you reference. Of course I believe we should fight for the rights of women in other countries that do not enjoy the same liberties because they do not have them. We do. </p>
<p>I really don’t want to do this anymore, I don’t think anyone’s getting anything out of it. So let’s all just drop it. None of us need to justify our opinions to each other, we’re all losing the argument.</p>