I recently got back to college for second semester and am feeling terribly isolated and alone. I have a few friends that I signed a lease to live with next year but as I’ve gotten to know them I am not a fan of some of their attitudes and personalities and habits. I’m worried that this whole second semester and all of next year will be spent feeling lonely and isolated. My roommate just won’t talk to me even though I’ve made an effort to befriend her. I also have joined clubs in hopes of making new friends but it is not working out how I would like it to. I have made no new friends unfornautely. Also, my one club is causing me major stress because it is the school newspaper and my social anxiety plus general school stress are causing that club to be not enjoyable. I know I have new classes this semester but I am unsure how to make new friends because most people took classes with their friends and I am in a new major so I don’t even have any acquaintances. My parents sent me down with my car this semester in hopes that it would make me happier because I would maybe be able to go do things even if it is just going to get groceries. I’m so confused and sad and lonely. Any advice??
- Find study groups / partners in the same classes as you. If your major has a hangout (like, upperclassmen in my major spend a lot of time in the computer labs dedicated to ChemE) you may be able to meet people there.
- Drop the clubs you don't like, but keep trying on the ones you can handle. It takes time to get to know people. Your school might have an involvement fair to kick off the semester, if you want to try something new.
- Maybe a job or volunteer opportunity?
I’m definitely hoping to make friends in the design studio since we need 6 hours of design outside of every class every week so I’m hoping I’ll get to know people that way. I know last year he journalism department didn’t really have a hangout besides maybe the radio station but that’s also kind of isolating and not very inclusive. I think I just struggle knowing how to connect with people since I haven’t had to make friends since middle school. As for clubs, yes I think I may drop my stressful club or ask for a lesser role because it’s just too much for me right now to be writing articles and doing theee interviews a week on top of classes and other clubs
Let the new semester start. Try to focus on your academics as a priority. Engage in the activities that mean the most to you. Take one day at a time. Stay open to t8most important relationshipstuff to you. What you should do for nest year will probably unfold.
See if you can join clubs that are purely social clubs or “just for fun.” Sometimes I have found that purpose driven organizations such as journalism are great, but don’t necessarily lead to a great deal of social activity or bonding outside of stressing over the next deadline or work-based relationships. If there are any opportunities to make study groups, take them or just start small talk with some people sitting next to you before class starts.
In my introductory geology class of about 100 people, each day it felt like I sat next to someone different until one day I sat next to this girl who was also in my grade. Out of the blue, I asked if she would like to study together or work on the next problem set together. We later became good friends with similar interests (not geology) and the relationship blossomed from there.
If you have a car and most people don’t, you can offer rides to people and get them to hangout spots you may not be able to go to normally. Clubs are always looking for other ways to be social, and if you can help facilitate that, it is a great way to meet people.
Outside of that, be open to new experiences and honestly don’t stress about it too much. It often comes in spontaneous and unexpected ways, but try and put yourself out there a bit.
Good advice so far. @shawnspencer’s suggestion about “fun” clubs is a good one. Does your school have an Outdoor Club? Sign up and go to an outing or two. Does your school send out a weekly email with a list of upcoming events for the week such as lectures, sporting events, midnight breakfasts, etc. Pick one each week and go. Are you going to the gym? Go a couple of times a week. Strike up a conversation. Take your books and sit in a cafe or coffee shop to study. Say hello to people. Have you spoken with your RA? He/she may know of other students on the floor / in the dorm feeling the same way. It’s uncomfortable sometimes, but you’ve just got to put yourself out there a bit, keep busy, and try new things.