<p>Hey everybody, I was hoping I could get a little advice on long distance relationships. My boyfriend and I (of 2.5 years) will be attending different colleges that are about 3 hours apart. We have both decided that we really want to say together but we have yet to talk about specifics. I know it will be really hard for us to be apart but we went to different high schools in towns that were about half an hour away so we only saw each other once or twice a week so I think that might make it easier than it is for most? </p>
<p>Does anyone have any advice/experience they want to share on how to make it work? We have a really trusting relationship so I don't think that will be a problem. I am just more worried about missing him a lot :/ </p>
<p>I haven’t been in a long-distance relationship, but maybe you both could get a messenger with video chat (Skype, Yahoo!Messenger). Seeing each other’s faces obviously isn’t the same, but it may help.</p>
<p>Skype and unlimited text. I did the long-distance thing for a year and a half before my ex fiance and I broke up (it wasn’t because of the distance and we were ultimately together almost 5 years). </p>
<p>Seriously, as long as you keep communication open, and don’t be afraid to let the relationship go for a while if you need to, it’s not that bad. It’s all about trust and as long as you’ve got that, you should be fine. You WILL grow as people and that means you might grow apart. That is NATURAL and let it happen if it happens. No use in holding on if it’s not right. </p>
<p>Best of luck and enjoy your summer, don’t worry about it until school starts!</p>
<p>If it really means something to you, then go for it. Just don’t be one of those people who ends up wasting their first semester in front of their computer Skyping, breaks up with the person, and feels like they missed a great opportunity.</p>
<p>My sister (at NYU) and her boyfriend (at Miami U (Ohio)) managed to stay together – just make sure you visit every so often (3 hours is not that bad), and skype a lot.</p>
<p>That distance between you two in high school will definitely help a lot. I’ve been in a long distance relationship going on 8 years now. Highschool (diff. high schools 20 min away, saw each other maybe once a week) & college (saw each other about once every 3 months) & now post grad (hardest one yet - probably once every six months). It’s very difficult but it is doable. What I’ve found to help are these things: </p>
<p>1) Allocating specific times to talk each week and updating each other about school, life, etc. Being supportive during those stressful times and being enthusiastic about each others’ goals. In a relationship you want to support each other and help each other grow - not hold each other back.</p>
<p>2) Sending letters/gifts randomly - a little surprise always brings a smile.</p>
<p>3) Planning when to see each other, and also realizing that life gets busy and it might not happen as you plan. Also take turns going to see each other so you can get an idea of each other’s lifestyles in college and meet each other’s friends. It’ll be a great way to meet new people and also feel comfortable with where he is and what he’s doing .</p>
<p>4) Keep busy and focus on yourself too. I found this to be the best way to keep myself from missing my significant other too much. There was a point in time when I was in Japan for 3 months and we didn’t get to talk much due to different time zones/both of us being busy. Although we missed each other a lot, we got through it because we were too busy to think about it. I was always going out exploring/studying for classes and he was always busy with school/grad school applications. That really is the best way to keep your mind off it - when you have something to do each day and you come home exhausted too tired to think you fall asleep and don’t have time to wallow. You will definitely get pangs here and there, but then if you keep a busy schedule (school, clubs, hanging out with friends - make time for yourself too so you don’t burn out!) your mind will jump from one thing to the next and it won’t be so bad. 'Course you’ll want to make time to talk to him, but until those moments that’s how you deal. </p>
<p>Rosedust has some really solid advice. I would also say that it can work if both of you want it to work and are willing to both put fairly equal effort over the long run into it.</p>
<p>i am currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend of two years. we go to schools 15 hours apart so we really only see each other on school breaks. its been extremely difficult, but these are the things i have learned from it. but, before you do these things im going to list…if you can’t see yourself getting married, having children, and growing old together; i would recommend you reevaluate your wants, needs, and priorities in that relationship before you plan on anything like this because it IS one of the most difficult things you will do in your life. it is a HUGE investment and unfortunately statistics show that the vast majority of long distance college relationships do fail. now i am in no way saying you shouldn’t try because it is one of the most rewarding things you can do, but it is hard and you need to be prepared for it. we were made to love someone unconditionally and be with them for our adulthood. if you can’t see yourself with that person, doing those things, and being there for them when it seems impossible, you probably wont make it. but, if you really want to do it, here is my advice. (trust me if it works, you wont find anything that makes you more happy)
if you really love your significant other, you will have no desire to cheat on them. its really not that difficult to keep your pants up no matter how drunk you are. if you are conscious, you will be able to make coherent decisions. end of story.
two hours a day minimum. you need to have face to face interaction with them for at least two hours a day. skype is the best obviously. and while youre skyping, it helps to do things together like eat, play a computer game, listen to music together, if you play an instrument serenade them its the little things that help you get through the rough times.
you CANNOT assume they are being irresponsible. they wouldnt be in this relationship in the first place if you werent the most important thing to them. they don’t and most likely wont do anything to mess that up.
send love letters. (preferably hand written). there is nothing like tangible things in a world of electronics to give them that little reminder that you are always missing them.
TRUST TRUST TRUST TRUST TRUST TRUST. if you can’t trust they are being faithful, it doesn’t matter what they do because you won’t believe them.
sacrifice partying for a phone call if they need it. tell them you love them more than necessary. there is never too much of “i love you”
(this is probably one of the most important and inevitable things) if you fight (which you will) you have to be willing to apologize and say you were in the wrong even if you dont think so. since you cannot be in person to sort something out and not just avoid the problem when it arises, it makes it much easier to ignore, forget, and lose sight of the bigger picture. my girlfriend and i have gotten into some pretty heated arguments this year. i, for one, hate apologizing and losing arguments. i have a pretty strong type-a personality and i HATE to lose. but if it means to settle something that needs to stop, i will just apologize and let it go. people make irrational decisions when they are angry. dont let an argument end your relationship. you HAVE to be willing to accept the fact that not everything is going to be how you want and just move on. tell them you are sorry, you love them, and you hate arguing. thats it</p>
<p>Just got out of a two year LDR a few months ago of over 2000 miles. </p>
<p>This is a cheesy suggestion but hey, we loved it hahaha.</p>
<p>Get Netflix instant play accounts and once a week or every other week, have “movie” dates. Yes I realize how corny this is - but it was fun and a connection thing - we would watch it at the same time and message back and forth comments through an instant messenger. It helps doing the same thing at the same time.</p>
<p>@princetongirl93
My boyfriend and I met about 8 years ago, I moved about 3 years after I met him and we’ve been LDR for about 1 year. He is older (21). It WILL BE HARD. Some people think it’ll be a piece of cake because you are not together all the time, but it sucks. Just be sure to visit and skype and also IDK if anyone else suggested this but oovoo is great too. just like skype but its more messaging while on video. Just keep in contact with him. Im sure you two can make it. Good Luck :)</p>
<p>I’ve done it twice in college… I don’t suggest it. You probably love him, but people change so much once they go to school and are on their own. If it were me, I would probably try to make it work in the beginning so as not to overwhelm yourself with a new lifestyle and huge relationship change, too. Try it and see where it goes, I guess, but I wouldn’t be betting on it lasting simply because people change.</p>
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its the little things that help you get through the rough times.