<p>I know this may seem silly, but I want to know if long distance relationship works. I'm going to a college in iowa this coming fall, and there is a guy that I've been dating. He's going to Texas for the first year, but do you think 1) long distance relationship works? until he transfers to my college (hopefully)........or do you think that 2) i should be more "realistic" and break up with him during the summer?</p>
<p>It really depends on you guys. As many couples that i know of that break up becuase of long distance, I know quite a few who do make it through. Alot of break ups stem from 1) cheating or 2) lost feelings because you will meet new, attractive people in college. I'm going through the same thing but I'm going to try my hardest to make it work and even though I know its not guaranteed we'll stay together, ill be much happier knowing that I tried and it didnt work rather than just giving up.</p>
<p>don't break up with him just because you're moving apart, that's dumb. If you really care about eachother then you can make it work, otherwise it will dissolve naturally in the first couple months apart.
The key to making it work is communication. Talk to eachother online or on the phone a lot, tell eachother everything that's going on.
I've never had a long distance relationship personally, but I know two couples that have been making it work for FIVE YEARS, and in both cases they talk to eachother every day.</p>
<p>hehe long distance does work if u're one state next to each other it'll be hard but make the relationship open because it's tough and you don't have that physical connection either and temptation a rises too then again i'm in a long distance and it's my 1st relationship and we've been together for 7 months so far but i'm a freshman and he's a junior and we see each other once a month ...</p>
<p>You can make a long-distance relationship work, but know it will be hard. At times, it can be really really hard. Even if you talk every day, communication can break down in other ways. If you really want to try to make it last, you need to be completely honest in your communications, sometimes down to the tiniest feelings, which build much more easily toward resentment when you don't physically see the person for a long period of time.</p>
<p>In high school, I broke up with my boyfriend-at-the-time because he was heading to college (he was one year ahead). On one hand, I think it was good because it would have been very difficult to maintain a relationship while going through such different experiences. But it was also miserable because things really hadn't run their course so there was a lot of, shall we say...gray area. In college, my boyfriend again graduated a year before me (gotta stop doing this) and we decided to give distance a shot. It wasn't ideal, but was never really a question. We couldn't imagine blowing off a fairly long-term relationship just because we were going to be apart. But one thing has led to another...he lives internationally, I'm spending next year travelling abroad, and then we'll both be in grad school on opposite coasts...so hey. Right now it's a "let's see where it takes us" sort of situation, which is less than perfect, but we're pluggin' along.</p>
<p>There have been some definite benefits to a distance relationship. I wasn't jealous of my friends who were scrounging for every last minute to spend with their significant others, and who were sacrificing other things to make time for each other. Also, it meant that we had to carve out time to talk to one another (b/c there was nothing else), so we really did get some quality time. When we were at school together, we were both so busy that it was a lot of "five minutes here, dinner there...can't talk, see you soon" and so forth. Being apart, it was nice that when we did get to see each other, we could legitimately focus on that.</p>
<p>I think it comes down to whether the two of you feel like you've run your course (it was pretty clear to me both times: "this just isn't something to hang on to right now" vs. "this is definitely not done yet"), and also whether or not you'll be able to trust one another next year and put in the effort to make things work. I knew a lot of people in long distance relationships, and just as many who refused to ever be in them. Just a personal preference. Some people were just an hour or two away from their SOs, while others were muuuch farther (I went to school on the west coast and one of my closest friends had a boyfriend in England while another's is in Ghana...both worked incredibly well).</p>
<p>If you feel like you should give it a shot, give it a shot. And if you don't feel like it's worth the effort, then don't be afraid to say so. But one thing in your post doesn't quite add up for me: this relationship isn't so serious that you definitely want to keep things going despite being apart for a year, and yet you want him to transfer to your school. It seems, on the one hand, pretty casual, but on the other, quite serious. I know people who have transferred for their significant others only to break up upon doing so, so just be careful about what you both decide. </p>
<p>Good luck :)</p>