Look at my essay please? =)

<p>May 7th SAT:
Is real success achieved only by people who accomplish goals and solve problems on their own?</p>

<p>Independence is crucial to achieving true success. Several examples from Bill Gates, Marie Curie and the Odyssey show that solve one's own problems by oneself is key.</p>

<p>Bill Gates, known as one of the most successful businessmen in the world, started his computing career by learning machine code by himself. Even though he was accepted to Harvard University, he pursued his own goal by starting up a company. Micro-soft, as he named it, later rejected IBM's offer to purchase the Windows operating system, developed personally by Gates. Although he had many people working for him, Gates remained as the sole Chief Executive Architect, writing code all by himself. His philanthropy efforts made him create his own charity, the Bill and Melinda Foundation. His independence and belief in himself is the key to his success.</p>

<p>Over a hundred years ago, Marie Curie decided to go against the norm and become a chemist. She was rejected from Krakow University, and started work by herself. Alone in her laboratory, she discovered two elements, and found many properties of radioactive elements. Her work in these fields won her Nobel prizes in both chemistry and physics, this achievement of winning prizes in separate categories has not been surpassed. Research in the field was widespread, but her dedication to work personally was the reason why she achieved fame. </p>

<p>In the novel The Odyssey by Homer, the protagonist overcomes many obstacles all by himself. Odysseus, the main character, sets out to return to Corinth after a journey away from home. The Gods were not on his side, but time and time again, he proved that his individual mettle could rise above all odds. He and his crew are trapped in a cave by Polyphebus, a one-eyed giant. Although his men cowered in fear, he blinded the giant and then, led the escape. In Odysseus' escapade in Circe's home, his crew falls under her spell and become pigs, but Odysseus himself defeats her and gains her help. When he returns home, he finds dozens of suitors courting his wife and feasting on his cattle. Angered, he single-handedly slays them all and wins back his wife. Thus, Odysseus' dedication to himself was all he needed to succeed. </p>

<p>Examples from Bill Gates, Marie Curie and the Odyssey clearly show that, indeed, working individually reaps the most benefits. It is interesting to note that Odysseus' initial trust of his crew led to them being lost and stranded. Therefore, the individual is the key to success.</p>

<p>Thanks for reading!
If it helps, I received a 10 (5/5), and I'm just looking for feedback/advice, whatever!</p>

<p>I agree with the score, overall it is very well written and is supported by strong examples…although im shocked they didnt notice that Odysseus is actually from Ithaca and not Corinth :slight_smile: (as far as i remember atleast)</p>

<p>Strong thesis too. </p>

<p>(and The Odyssey is an epic poem ;)</p>

<p>haha my bad, didn’t notice it even now.
I’m just wondering how I could improve this piece to a score of 12?
It’s all that’s standing between me and a strong SAT score.</p>