Looking for advice regarding son's strange decisions

The concern many former enlisted members including the veteran Marine brothers in my old neighborhood had about taking that route is:

  1. Socialization issues with someone at the right-hand side of the academic/intellectual curve in the enlisted ranks. They've experienced or witnessed several problems during their time as junior enlisted and with some...also as NCOs/SNCOs. This was one reason why one of those Marine veteran brothers felt the need to emphatically advice an older kid accepted to RPI with an NROTC scholarship to take that offer rather than enlist straight out of HS and the other emphatically refused to allow his son to follow his path of enlisting in the Marines straight out of HS as he did in the end of the '40s.
  2. Greater chances of not being able to go to an FSA or officer training due to greater chances of incurring injuries or a lackluster/poor record* which precludes further service or provides a negative mark making it much harder/impossible to be accepted to officer training rather than starting without an enlisted record.
  • Including obstruction efforts by NCO/SNCO/Officer chain of command because they took an instant dislike to a junior enlisted soldier/sailor/marine for personality differences or even jealousy because of his/her record of high academic achievement/awards up to that point. Likely not as common now, but was common enough in their enlisted experiences that the veteran Marine brothers and other enlisted/mustang veterans in my old neighborhood felt was an issue to be considered in the '80s and/early '90s.
  1. Greater chances of not starting/finishing college due to military commitments and life events.

I have zero experience with the military, but some experience with abandoning a top tier school (at least temporarily).

If he’s not feeling that as an opportunity he wants to pursue, there’s really no point in forcing that. Kids at this time may feel some other need much more urgently. (For me, I needed to know that I could be self-supporting, and useful somehow in a world outside the classroom.) And although he cannot defer for 4-6 years, he can likely defer for one, giving him a chance to test the waters of this alternate decision in one of the ways suggested above. (Again, useless here regarding the options – just speaking generically.)

You can’t fight him on his wish to pursue this other route. You CAN try make sure he’s fully informed on the costs and benefits, and help him choose the best option that supports this wish.

The problem with military enlistments is that one can’t just do it for one year. Most tend to be 4-6 years…especially if one desires to enter certain MOSes.

That’s also not including the factor that one can be “stop-lossed” if the military needs you to stay longer than your initial commitment.

This happened to several friends and acquaintances during OIF/Afghanistan and with the older Marine brother who was forced to stay a few more years beyond his planned retirement because the Vietnam War was still raging when he reached his 20th year and the Marines needed him to train Marine recruits.

@cobrat All of this is still true and still applies today.

As a civilian, you can walk into an ROTC office on campus and join easy. As an active duty military member, you need approval from your commander and many other commanders above him. Many hoops to jump through, and you’ll probably get shot down unless you’ve got something selling your package, like wanting to major in Electrical Engineering.

One advantage to Marine ROTC is they don’t care what you major. Navy has a tiered list with STEM at top. Can’t speak for others, and not an issue if one wants a STEM major.

^That’s true for the Navy if you are going after college too.

I am very happy to say that I feel son is warming up to the idea of college. He will go to one of the colleges he was accepted at for an overnight visit next week, and his host will be one of their ROTC cadets.
Also, he has finally decided on a major. It’s not what we hoped for (we always talked to him about more practical majors that would guarantee job security, such as engineering, economics or accounting) - son wants to major in Middle Eastern Studies (we’ve lived in the ME for a few years when son was young and he is decently fluent in Arabic) and International Relations.

We’ll see how it goes. I will keep you guys updated.

Middle Eastern Studies (and Arabic) could be very practical for work in the military if he does go that route after college. The government calls it a “critical language.”

Middle Eastern studies is HIGHLY sought after, especially if he wishes to work in the military.

That would work well if looking at Marine Intel. Ground Intel officers in Marines also plug into the Recon Battalions if your son wants a ground combat job. State department is probably another option after military if he decided not to do a career in military.

My son who is joining the Navy majored in IR and took four years of Arabic as well as spending three semesters in Jordan. You get a pay boost if your Arabic is good enough. State Department test is pretty rigorous. Son got through two rounds, but not the third. (That said with minimal studying.) For IR jobs are largely based on experience so internships or useful jobs will be helpful.

@Light1012, some people like to disparage any major named “X studies”, but that’s unwarranted. (And I wouldn’t be so certain that something like econ is a guaranteed job in that field, either.) Really, aside from certain majors with very specific accreditation requirements (e.g., engineering), a college degree is a signifier that you’ve learned how to learn, not so much training for a specific field.

OP - Maybe this recent backlash was done (perhaps even unconsciously) as a way to get a more palatable major in discussion.

Great news on the college trip and being hosted by an ROTC cadet…very good.
In the meantime, been enjoying the discussion from BlueMoon and others.
Going through all the words, can’t help but note the movie Jarhead (USMC enlisted/Desert Storm) hasn’t been come up – or maybe I just missed it. Fwiw anyway, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jarhead_(film)

@CurlSnout Because Jarhead is a movie, and not what most people actually encounter in the military. This is more accurate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOsJm7xN92o

My oldest son joined the Army National Guard right out of high school, it’s something he really wanted to do (after 4 years of JROTC in high school). It’s been a fantastic experience for him. But he’s said many times that he’s really happy he didn’t go active duty, it wouldn’t have been right for him, so this is the best of both worlds. (He trains one weekend a month and two weeks in the summer and attends college full-time.)
After a couple of years he decided that he wanted to become an officer and had everything in place to do OCS (Officer Candidate School) this summer. However, his NG unit didn’t want to lose him, his commander went to the college my son attends, spoke with the ROTC dept there and, long story short, son will be in ROTC for his Junior and Senior year. He will still be in his same NG unit, shadowing his commander.
That may be another option for your son, he’d still have to go through basic training and AIT (military job training). My son started college a year “late” because of this, but his military training was converted to 32 college credits, so he really didn’t fall behind.

@StressingMom I can vouch that the Guard is pretty much the best thing ever. Active duty enlisted is pretty terrible, but whether you’re enlisted or officer in the Guard, life tends to be pretty good. There’s also Air National Guard. Marines have no Guard, however. Guard is exclusively Army and Air Force. The other branches just have Reserves, which is pretty good too.

Your son sounds like a brave and patriotic young man and I appreciate his desire to serve his country.

It is his choice of course, but I thought I’d throw in my 2 cents as the wife of an Army ROTC grad. My husband was a Signal officer (communications stuff for the most part) and he was assigned to a Special Forces Battalion. I think he would understand how your son feels about “going through the REAL stuff or serious stuff.” He definitely felt kind of like the SF guys might not respect him due to this. He handled it by going to Ranger School, which is one of the Army’s toughest programs. This made a huge difference in his confidence, and likely in how the other men viewed him. He was in Desert Storm and never had any issues with soldiers under him not treating him the same as any other LT.

I just did a little poking around the web and found some things about Marine Basic Recon Training, which sounds like a very similar hardcore program. I don’t know much about the Marines, so I imagine there are other really tough schools as well. Plus, Marines can go to Army schools and so forth (probably not all of them – I don’t know).

Here are a couple of “reviews” I found just trying to find a Marine program similar to Army Ranger School:

https://www.quora.com/Which-is-harder-Ranger-School-or-USMC-Basic-Recon-training
https://sofrep.com/1439/ranger-school-from-a-recon-marines-perspective/

I found these very quickly and I’m sure you or your son could find out quite a bit more.

So my point (which I’m finally getting around to) is that just because your son wants the real hardcore military experience doesn’t necessarily mean he needs to get it through Marine basic training. He will absolutely be respected if he goes through one of these super tough schools.

Good luck to your son and I hope he will happy with whatever choice he makes.

[also sorry if I repeated anyone since I didn’t read the whole thread before posting!]

Word I’ve heard from friends who are still serving or recently got honorably discharged as Army officers is that going to Ranger School, passing the course, and earning the Ranger tab has become extremely critical for those who want a 20+ year career.

Even an Army reserve officer friend who joined while continuing to work as a senior engineer at a tech firm and just got promoted to Captain is trying to get himself scheduled for Ranger school so he can leave his Army reserve career options open as well as to see if he could handle it.

Especially if they’re hoping to be contenders for desirable assignments which lead to promotions to senior field and general officer ranks. Failure to get Ranger school within a certain early-mid point in an officer’s career or failing the Ranger course from their perception means one’s chances for a long career leading to senior field and general officer ranks is greatly diminished.

@cobrat, hmm, reading about it they eliminated the desert phase which makes zero sense given the locations of our current conflicts! My main reaction though is that this must totally suck for women soldiers. Also I don’t think there should be an “unofficial requirement” for all soldiers to complete a school with a pretty specific mission which many of them have no need for. Well, I never expected any huge arm of the government to make sense all the time!

As for OP’s son though, I’m sure there must be very tough courses open to a Marine officer that most Marines don’t go through.