@intparent we do work with a real MD. The assumption that a real MD doesn’t treat with herbals or other more natural modalities, is a pretty narrow one.
He is around 13 now (8th grade) and you have had a problem for 8 years-since he was 5? In other words, pretty much his entire childhood? That is a long time for him and you to suffer without trying medication to help. The situation will likely worsen in the teen years (All those changes) so finding an effective medicine is rather urgent, and may take some trial and error and time. Many psychiatrists in my city have 3-4 month waiting lists for an appointment.
I think there’s a huge shortage of child/adolescent psychiatrists. My kids’ doctor told me that a lot of the ones in Maine are retiring.
If you live near a teaching hospital, find out if they have a team.
When I worked in a Boston hospital, Dr Bettelheim was part of a team. A psychologist would do some testing of the child, a MSW would interview the parents, and a pediatrician and child psychiatrist were involved. Everyone on the team watched thru a one-way mirror. Other MDs took over for Dr B. The goal was to discover the best treatment for the child.
I hope this treatment approach still exists.
I agree with this. Especially that it is rather urgent. It’s unlikely that he’s a “bad” kid that needs tough love or a wilderness experience. He needs medical attention. I understand that some MDs prescribe herbs and supplements. Is it working? I’m guessing it’s not since you came here to ask for advice. We are extraordinarily lucky to live in a time when there are effective psychiatric medications that allow the individuals who need them to live productive lives.
I have a related story. A neighbor who has a daughter the same age as mine sent me an email asking me if I know any asthma doctors who are “not so quick to prescribe steroids” and who use non-drug methods. For three years she had not been able to get her D’s asthma under control with herbs and acupuncture, and her D was constantly wheezing, but she did not want her D to use steroids. This was about 10 years ago, when our Ds were in middle school. I wrote her a very firm email about benefit vs. risk, pointing out that her D has to be able to BREATHE. It had been so long since her D had experienced normal breathing that she probably didn’t realize how abnormal her breathing was. Clearly, nobody wants to take an inhaled steroid gratuitously. But if the choice is between that and breathing …
So, OP, please take this seriously. Millions of individuals are helped by psychiatric drugs. For many, they are miraculous. At least get an evaluation by a mainstream psychiatrist who is board-certified for children and adolescents.
So it sounds like you have already tried plans A, B and C. Psychiatric medication is plan D.
Don’t stress over whether he will need it forever. Think about what he needs right now.
The right medication could improve the situation enough to allow more time and effort for checking out other avenues (behavioral, medical, etc.) If you are considering a residential school/treatment center for your child, it means that things need to improve at home so that all of you can function as a family. Don’t think of medication as a bandaid, think of it as treating the most urgent problem first.
A good psychiatrist will not only work with you to prescribe whatever medications he/she thinks will work for your child, but will be open to supporting you as you try to find solutions for the underlying medical problems as well.
And as needs change, a good psychiatrist will change dosage/medication/etc. to best meet the current situation.
ADD and ADHD treatment and medications have come a long way over the past decades. I am a fan of herbals and supplements for many conditions but this is NOT one of them.
(Herbals can have many undesirable effects also and very hard to dose also–there are no standards).
You are not doing your child any favors by not getting him properly treated. It is going to be rougher the longer you wait. Your family as a whole and your son have been suffering long enough. That’s why you’re here.
If ADHD is the proper diagnosis then medication will help tremendously with attention span and impulse control. For your son that means he can hopefully become more focused and improve socially. I’m sure he’d feel relieved to gain SOME semblance of control over his actions. Don’t deny him (or your family) the chance.
It’s not a quick fix since it can take time to find the right medication (there are several–some meds work better than others depending on individual chemistry) and the right dosage. And it can take time to determine if a med is working.
A treatment plan would include cognitive behavior therapy. All this makes it even more important to get started now.
As someone said, you’ve been trying plans A,B and C. Go for D.
I know many people have fears about taking medications especially for something that is about brain chemicals. You need to know that brain chemicals are just that-- chemicals. And when they aren’t in the right balance then people have problems.
The meds help get those chemicals get back into proper balance. People take meds to lower cholesterol, blood pressure, sugar levels as examples to get back into proper balance so the body can function better–this is the same thing.
We have had the most wonderful experience with ADHD meds – and my DH was HUGELY skeptical. Good luck.