Wondering what everyone else is thinking? My biggest regret is that I only found this forum post application deadlines, I’ve learned so much here but it has been too late to implement. I also wish we had cast a wider net. Six schools seemed like a fair amount of applications at the time, but in these last hours I wish we were awaiting more decisions. That said, I’m not sure I could have coerced the kid into writing more essays despite the fact that this whole BS thing was his idea. What are your biggest regrets?
@Sleepless33 we had very similar regrets. I didn’t truly find the forum until applications were in. And I felt I learned so much after the fact. We applied to 11 schools but I would say at least 6 weren’t for him…but he applied anyway. Plus our net wasn’t wide because all of the schools were pretty much the same in marketing and selectivity (I now refuse to use the phrases prestige, top schools, etc). It was our DSs decision, also…and he did a great job working his way there.
It’s funny, though, because although I regret all of our application process mistakes, I absolutely do NOT regret our result. He’s flourishing in the school that is perfect for him (we both realized this was the case at interviews and the school went from being an afterthought to near the top of his list).
My biggest regret will be if I can’t apply all I’ve since learned from this forum to the application process for Buuznkid2.
I only have one regret–and it will remain so, regardless of whether or not DS is accepted at the boarding school of his choice. Our private day school advised against beginning SSAT prep earlier than the summer entering 8th grade–“burnout” was cited. For children with a substandard vocabulary this is way too late. Instead of studying test-taking strategies, he was cramming in a thousand plus words during the summer and fall months, and was stressed to the hilt! It was painful to watch. All that angst could have been avoided had he begun earlier.
Best of luck to everyone!
@janehoya Totally agree. There are so many websites that make learning vocabulary fun, or at least not boring. There is absolutely no reason why my children can’t spend 10 minutes a day learning a few words. This is something that will help them for the rest of their lives. I truly wonder about schools/teachers that say stuff like what they told you.
I’m all in favor of kids having a good time on vacations etc, but this not stressful at all.
Oh, and to all, please have NO regrets on March 8, March 9, or any day thereafter.
Each day is the beginning of the rest of your life if you make it that way, and you can overcome any setback.
All the very best of fortunes to each of you!
I’m sure a lot of families who applied this year are sitting down thinking “what if I’d one this or that.” I was doing that a few weeks ago. We only applied to 4 boarding schools and three local days schools. I was beyond stressed wondering if I had limited his chances for boarding by only applying to 4. What if we aren’t afforded enough FA? Then we got the news that he was accepted to his number one day school. It’s a good school with very good opportunities for him.Though his first choice is going to a boarding school, knowing he has a good school choice, if he isn’t admitted, has made the last few days less stress free. I will so that even if he is not admitted to ANY boarding schools, this experience has been wonderful for him. He’s grown and matured so much. He’s been working harder because he got the chance to see first hand what is at stake for his future.
I do agree with the parents who mentioned regretting not preparing earlier. We started late in the summer and though we were told that the first semester of 8th grade would be easy, it was very grueling at our current day school. We had very little time to practice in the Fall.
Good luck to everyone. I do believe that if March 9 or 10 doesn’t go your child’s way, they are smart, wonderful kids, who will all have bright futures ahead of them.
SwamiJr’s outcomes have been amazing. However, here are our “regrets”
-
Not starting research sooner. There are so many amazing schools out there. There may be a gem or two (or not) that would have been a better fit. We used websites, collateral and tours to choose the schools to which he applied. It would have been great to see a few more schools (SAS, Milton, Groton, Middlesex, Concord Academy, etc.). Instead we ended up seeing many of the big names (which look good on paper, via website and on campus).
-
Similar to #1, not researching schools that offered merit aid. Choate is a good example here. It is an amazing school that offers merit aid but SwamiJr was tapped out in terms of interest in researching schools and submitting applications by the time we discovered how great an option Choate could be academically with potential for merit aid.
-
We spent no time speaking to coaches. Frankly, we were tired of life, prepping, touring, interviewing, and trying to find fit. Sports were secondary (did the school have the teams DS wanted…check…done). Theoretically, having conversations with coaches could have been influential. We ultimately didn’t need the coaches and we took a calculated risk and said that as a “non-impact” athlete our time and effort speaking with coaches would not have been worth it. Instead we spend the energy on other things related to the process or recovering.
“Regrets” is probably not the right word as much as these are a couple of things we may have done differently.
“M8 Regrets” should be retitled “Lessons Learned”.
Now that I have to sign a contract, I regret we didn’t apply for financial aid. We were pretty sure we wouldn’t qualify and as a kid that might have been on the bubble of being accepted, we decided to not even try. It is a major financial stress for us to come up with the money. I’ll always wonder if we would have gotten anything.
@TheSwami your #1 is common, I think. It was ours, too, anyway. There are many excellent schools outside of the big names. I definitely find this a lesson learned for next time!
@TheSwami Choate offers merit aid?
Also you make great points!!
@CavsFan2003, Choate offers a very limited amount of merit aid (particularly through the head’s scholars program). From what I have heard from current students at Choate, it is typically for outstanding applicants who are also very strong academically, in other words, they have a very clear hook such as Impact athlete with all A’s or incredible musician who is also very strong academically, etc.
@CC4life Got it!
Regret 1: Focusing on swimming, rather than water polo: we were told by Alums and students at several schools that swimming coaches typically have more pull than water polo coaches, because of this we focused much more on talking to swim coaches instead of reaching out more to water polo coaches (which I probably would have been an impact athlete for).
Regret 2: This was pretty much out of my control, but because I switched from a 6-12 private school to a k-12 private school in 9th grade, I was required to take regular level classes in 9th grade, and while my school is a feeder school, I believe taking regular classes in 9th grade instead of honors or AP hurt me greatly throughout the process. I ultimately wish I fought more to be placed in advanced classes, knowing that I would be applying to Boarding school.
Regret 3: Applying to too many schools and not focusing on the schools I truly loved. This was probably the biggest one for us, as I went in to this application cycle as a reapplicant who only applied to GLADCHEMMS schools last year and was waitlisted across the board, I ultimately came into this years admissions cycle with the goal of being accepted to ANY boarding school and therefore I applied to A LOT of schools (17 at first, before cutting it to 15) I ultimately did get several acceptances, however, none of them were from my top choices which all ended up being waitlists. I ultimately wish I would have cut schools that did not fit me and focused on perfecting my essays, reaching out to coaches and theater directors and AOs, or focusing on my grades, instead of scrambling at the last minute to finish all the applications without much focus on time to review and perfect them.
@CC4life awesome, helpful post. It was easier to apply to college back in the day, than it has been to apply to prep schools for my DCs this year. I agree with you- finding balance during the application process is difficult. Trying to keep grades high, perfect those essays, beg for recommendations, etc. has not been fun. Do you do
X? You lose out on Y. If you do Y, you lose out on X. Is there really a “Middle Path?” Or is the truth really that the middle path is situation-specific? Despite it all, I have a feeling you are going to make the best out of the acceptances you received, and then go on to kill it when it’s time to put in college apps. These experiences will not be wasted. JMO.