<p>How unrealistic(or realistic) is it if I think that if I transfer to a university in 4 months, I won't be able to make any friends, everyone will hate me, and I will be very unhappy?</p>
<p>Yes, it is…?</p>
<p>You’ll make friends.
Why would anyone hate you?
That depends on you.</p>
<p>Cheshire Cat, you have major self-esteem problems. You should really talk to a counselor or something.</p>
<p>I thought that too, but it wasn’t the case for me. My first day here (for orientation) I met two girls. They came up to me because of my service dog (they have service dogs as well). I’m really good friends with them now.
Also on move in day I propped my door open and put on music because it was hot and I’d already moved in. People stopped by to say hello, talk about music, or even the TV show that was on my t-shirt. If you leave the door open people come by and talk to you. It’s a good way to socialize without feeling like you’re putting yourself out there too much.</p>
<p>panic- I’m sure your comment boosted his self esteem tremendously.</p>
<p>Dude, either you’re ■■■■■■■■, or you need to go see a counselor.</p>
<p>twitter, if I go to college, I’m definitely going to keep my door open when moving in.
I know that I will make friends, or at least be friendly with people. I’m just scared for the adjustment I guess.
And panic, like I didn’t already know that? I did see a counselor for awhile, but I stopped. I’m not gonna tell you everything that goes on in my private life, but I will say that counselors are supposed to be there to make you feel better, not worse after leaving after your sessions.</p>
<p>Colleges pretty much all have free counseling. I don’t like counselors as a general rule (I use psych service dogs instead), but I signed up for counseling at my school. I figure it might help, it might not but it’s free so who cares. If I don’t like it, I’ll stop going.
You may want to give it a try too :)</p>
<p>Twittermouse, sounds like you are doing great (you had some seriously cold feet but I see that things have worked out) and Cheshire Cat, you’ll do fine, also. The fact that you are so interested in doing this tells me you are ready for the challenge. Many of us struggle with self-esteem issues and social phobias. We push past those when we are ready to, though.</p>
<p>I wrote the long-ass thread about helping my son settle into college. I just talked to him a few minutes ago and he said his hall agreed on the open-door policy and while most of the hall ignored that after agreeing to it, he has adhered to it. Many people have stopped by to talk for a few minutes. I think that’s an excellent idea and I’m glad the RAs are vigilant and pro-active in preventing social isolation and other unhealthy social dysfunction.</p>
<p>My RA told us we’re no longer allowed to have our doors open at all. :/</p>
<p>^ what a lame RA. Did some incident happened that caused them to make this decision?</p>
<p>I’m a junior and to this day, I still dread going back to school because of the friend aspect. I know a few people, but I’ve never gotten to a “buddy” level where I can just call and say “Hey, wanna hang out”. I thought about counseling, but I feel like that won’t be enough. I’m tempted to sign up for counseling this semester at my school to feel somewhat sane =</p>
<p>I don’t think everyone will hate you OP unless you are a major jerk. Also to add to the open door thing, it also helps to stop by people who have their doors open and say hello as well! It works both ways.</p>
<p>Hang in there OP (and anyone else this could pertain to)!</p>
<p>She said it’s a fire hazard.
Then I realized no one cared and everyone is still propping the doors open. So I will too. I boundary trained my dog so she won’t leave when the door is open. :)</p>
<p>It may take a semester, but it’ll happen. A lot of us met our good friends second semester. First semester is the time when you are friends with people that are close to you- on your floor, in your dorm, in your classes. You start exploring college more, meet new people, and going out of your comfort zone. As in, the first few days you usually hang with people on your floor, then start meeting people in classes and clubs. The guys rush in the fall, so they invite you to frat parties. You mingle with people at parties, start expanding your friend branch, you start getting closer to people you met at parties etc;</p>
<p>Basically you start meeting your college long friends end of first semester/second semester. It takes some time, but everyone is in the same position. I was nervous, but I have truly met lifelong friends the past few years. Going greek is also a great way to meet amazing people.</p>