<p>@ rbgg: Maybe DS’s yearning to come home is part of maturing. Maybe he has a more mature outlook now and sees how he’s giving up too much at home for what he’s getting from the experience at BS. I certainly didn’t mean to imply that maturing = increased compatibility/comfort with BS. Not even close! Actually, I love your “let go of the bike” metaphor. Now that he can ride the bike, he’s circling back to do tricks in the driveway instead of scooting off to some distant playground. Either way, he’s riding the bike on his own.</p>
<p>My S did one year of BS. He wanted to do more but we made him move with us. It was a difficult choice because the ideal thing would have been to pick the best of both. But that wasn’t an option. We had to choose between two great options.</p>
<p>But, as it turns out, we didn’t give up as much as we thought. His one year of BS was a very significant part in shaping who he is as he approaches HS graduation. It opened doors; made him see what he could do on his own – without us holding onto the bike. He didn’t give up that year when he left BS. He built on it.</p>
<p>It’s possible that one year of BS and three years where he’s most comfortable means that he gets the best of both experiences. It’s not like his year of BS evaporates because he’ll graduate HS somewhere else. Nobody can take away from him what he has experienced. And if being at home is the better choice…embrace the better choice and know that he’s also had great benefits from his close second choice too.</p>
<p>Instead of the bike metaphor, I’m learning it’s more like agreeing to ride the big roller coaster at the carnival with adolescent son. In another anology, it’s like the weather in NE, i.e. who said? If you don’t like the weather in NE, just wait a minute.</p>
<p>Last night, son called very happy. He was the only Freshman who made the Varsity cut in Track. In his heats, he was paired with the senior who holds the school’s record and other seniors. He was ecstatically happy, so I guess we are on top again, waiting for the next plunge.</p>
<p>Coach took a few kids out to a store to buy track shoes and he bought his first pair of “real” track shoes. The kid is ecstatic. My sending him toll house cookies yesterday unannounced apparently added to his perfect day. We are on top again, fingers crossed…Thanks CC families for all your support. Ride not over yet, I am certain.</p>
<p>I had a few friends at Exeter who after their prep year or lower year decided it just was not what they wanted. Some left because of the pressure, mostly internal, to do well. Others left because they wanted to just be kids in high school. They displayed the maturity to make the decision to attend Exeter and the maturity to leave. If Boarding School is something your daughter wants let her take her shot, and let her know her room is always waiting for her if she decides to come home.</p>
<p>On the ride home for the recent long weekend, my son was telling me how much he misses and appreciates home, but how much he is enjoying school. It really made me think how much he’s matured, how much growth he’s experienced in such a short time. I think most parents don’t get this recognition and appreciation from their kids til college, so I think we BS parents get this much earlier in their development. This is a real side advantage if you will.</p>
<p>The other thing he told me was that from his perspective, 9th grade is too early to “leave home.” He really felt that he could have used at least one more year at home, and he told me now where he sits that had he started prep school in 10th, he would not have missed anything. A year ago, he was so afraid if he didn’t get in “on the ground floor” it would be too hard to make friends in 10th. Now he realizes how many students are added to the class in 10th and how much all the 9th graders are looking forward to meeting new people.</p>
<p>I think of all the kids on waitlists and my own rising 7th grader who will be applying for 9th grade in the fall. And suddenly, I am reassured that if she doesn’t get in, it won’t be the end of the world. DS also told me he just learned of a former public school classmate who academically was more in the middle of the class who just got in to a private day school after applying three years in a row (for 7th, 8th and 9th). The girl will be graduating in her prep school class same as everyone else and although she missed out on some personal growth opportunities, will be a graduate of the program still the same. And the bonus is that parents saved 3 years of tuition. If my daughter does not succeed in achieving admission to a good school, I know that we will just keep applying if that is her goal.</p>
<p>One thing we realized with D away at BS, is that there was a lot we didn’t know about her experience until she came home for the summer–too hard to cover topics for 10 minutes by phone or by text. I am sure your S’s experience is more roller coaster than you know and you’ll learn alot over the summer. BUT, if a little more help and support at home is still there, don’t think it necessarily goes away after 1st year. We found that our D missed us more the second year because the first year “honeymoon” was over and there was much more work, harder academics, more stress/stakes higher felt, less cuddling, etc. after 9th grade. Our friends had the same experience.</p>
<p>@baystate: Which curricular elements of 11th grade are the most challenging? I realize it may vary by child, but any color from your family’s experience would be great.</p>
<p>For both Ds junior year iwas the toughest. Classes ratchet up to college level work pretty consistently accross the board. For example, language classes go from studying the language to studying literature and history in the language. Sounds minor, but really is a big transition. Papers in humanities courses get longer, and require more original thought and analysis. Excellent grammar and writing mechanics are simply expected. Math gets more abstract, particularly on the calculus paths. Science at the AP level moves very fast, and all science courses assume a higher level of math proficiency.</p>
<p>In addition to the schoolwork kids often transition to varsity teams and leadership positions in ECs in junior year. Not just write for the paper, be an associate editor, not just join the club, be the vice president. Finally you have to layer in the standardized testing tornado. This is the first AP week and my junior has multiple AP exams during the week,and SATIIs on Saturday,on top of her regular schoolwork. </p>
<p>For my Ds it was a transition similar to the transition to BS freshman year. I would suggest listening carefully about not loading up on Honors and AP classes. The recomendation I have heard is generally do not sign up for more than 3, no matter how strong of a student you are. Remember that the non-AP classes at most BS are already pretty rigorous.</p>
<p>Senior year is better and gets progressively more relaxed. Just start the college apps over the summer, or it feels like an extra course in the schedule. Also, my college D says the rigor of her high school has made college classes much easier. The academics and workload are challenging, but it does not feel that different from BS, and she feels well prepared in terms of time management and study skills to handle everything that has come her way.</p>
<p>kraordrawoh- I only have a few minutes,l but I’ll do my best. First of all, what 1012Mom said. The typical junior at prep school takes ACTs, then SATs, then APs and then SAT subject tests, all within a three month window! ECs become much more time intensive, especially as they are taking over the leadership reins from the graduating seniors. And then…the curricular elements. Let’s take your typical junior at a rigorous boarding school, and their junior year schedule. Most of them are taking Precalculus. The teachers are trying to parse out who belongs in AB and who belongs in BC Calculus for the following year. So, the pressure is on to get a good grade. Most of the students are in their third or fourth year of a language- see above! They probably have been encouraged to take AP US History “because it looks good for the colleges.” It is a very demanding course that covers a huge amount of material. Science- see above. Honors English- they really are preparing for the AP English test. Lots of pressure. Finally, many of them are taking a 6th course because of a specific interest- Programming, Economics etc. It is really tough on the kids- but most of them come home for the summer and collapse for a couple of weeks, and then they are fine. And proud of themselves for getting through it! Hope that helps!</p>
<p>@baystate: Very helpful detail. I think it’s useful to think about the junior year with it’s many implications while considering how to plan the 9th and 10th grade effectively.</p>
<p>We wish we thought more carefully about 10th grade classes based on best planning for jr./sr. year path. Can’t really impact 9th grade, but it helps to think about 11 and 12 courseload in planning 10th grade: to get on right path for example on APs, it is possible to get one/two APs (or Honors classes in 10th may make eligible for AP test in 10th) in 10th to ease up on these in 11 and 12. We learned this kind of late. . . .</p>
Be careful what you sign up for…don’t overdo the honors and APs.</p>