<p>Ditto, Citygirlsmom, fullstop. (and my post are not always eloquent or spelled correctly but liverly conversation is crucial...there are too many good minds on this board to waste fretting if other posters will like me or not. Please, there is so much to learn and discuss -- sometimes I learn a great deal from those who do not agree with me. Actually, I probably learn more...</p>
<p>Nobody posting on this thread offends me even though I have disagreed with some of you on certain issues.</p>
<p><em>waves wand of absolution</em></p>
<p>Cur - thanks for starting this post. </p>
<p>I have two things I would like to throw in, and I apologize if I am offending anyone. </p>
<p>First, I kinda hope people will slow down a bit when they read things. I have seen on several occasions that people will quickly reply - sometimes in a heated way - to what they think a poster said. But when I read the post, it's not what the poster said at all. Obviously, we each of us misstate from time to time, or say things awkwardly. But many times, it's really fairly clear what the poster says. A lot of heat gets generated before the misunderstanding is cleared up. I think that in many cases - not all, of course - this particular problem could be avoided if, when we really disagree in a major way, we re-read the post, and truly try to see what the poster is really saying. </p>
<p>Second, on one of the other threads I saw a couple of comments about "the clique's". Some of the others didn't know what the comments referred to. I'm not sure either. But I'm guessing the reference may have been to a tendency on this board for people who know and/or recognize each other well to respond to those people only. There is a certain validation in replying to a post. I saw one post where several posters made comments, and one person summarized the posts, invited the posters he/she named to tea, and everyone was off and running about types of tea. But one of the posters who had said the identical thing, got ignored. This was the poster who later commented about cliques. Too thin-skinned? Maybe. But if the others enjoyed being validated so much, we cannot logically then criticize the person who was left out for feeling left out. In other words, if the included posters appreciated being included, the excluded poster has a right to feel excluded too. Sorry if I'm not being clear. It's like standing in a group of 5 people, and 4 of them are talking with their backs to #5. Just a thought, not a criticism of anyone.</p>
<p>SBmom - if you are able to grant absolution for anything, I and (I'm sure) a bunch of us can send you lists.</p>
<p>hayden, </p>
<p>Your clique point is good. Everyone likes to be considered, replied to, validated.</p>
<p>dadofsam, I am not an official absolver, of course, but I am happy to swing my wand in your general direction, just in case!</p>
<p>Thanks for a great thread. I am new to these boards, but have been reading with a lot of interest, as my dd is a junior and we are looking heavily into colleges at this point. My dd is interested in Musical Theater, so I've spent a lot of time over there reading. Boy, some of those people need to read your posts. A couple of moms over there have definitely been given a whammy because of things they've said (and I've read it all). This IS a horrible medium, and yes, some things would NEVER be said in person. If we are going to post and give and get information, we need to all have tougher, more resilient skins.</p>
<p>Thanks again for having the courage to start a thread like this. We all need to understand the limitations of the written word, devoid of emotion and such.</p>
<p>SBMom - Do you have fairy dust, too? I'm in the mood to fly!!</p>