<p>Is there anything I can do to enjoy my time at Davis this late in the year?</p>
<p>Constructive feedback only please, even though I know I will get flamed for posting this…</p>
<p>For my first quarter I tried talking to people in class, going to office hours and study groups, and tons of clubs and groups. But towards the end of the quarter I burnt out and stopped, because it felt draining and pointless. Most people I met were still in this high-school hierarchy mentality (i.e. douchey), overly obsessed with sex/drinking, and also closed off.
I’m not a puritan, but I’m not into the greek scene/partying either. It doesn’t make you a better person than anyone else and I think everyone has the right to have a happy life no matter what they are like… I still keep in contact with friends from my high school who never had that mentality, so I know that life doesn’t have to be like this, but I do not know how to lead the life I want to while going to Davis.</p>
<p>Honestly I’ve had a crap time so far and almost wish I could drop out despite the fact that I’m getting straight A’s. I know people here don’t like any negativity at all, but the thing is I want to enjoy my time here and that’s why I’m asking for help. My last quarter at Davis especially sucked because I was totally isolated. At the same time, even though I hate being alone I would rather be alone than be around people who make me unhappy or just aren’t a good fit.</p>
<p>Hi, I looked at your post history to see if you were a freshman, and I believe you are not, you are transfer student. </p>
<p>I think it probably is harder to break into the cliques that have already formed, but you know that and have experienced it as well.</p>
<p>I don’t know what to say, just that I am sure what you are going through is common and that you are not alone although I hear you say you are. </p>
<p>Do you live on campus? Do you have a job off campus? Are there places to go where you can meet more mature people? I have never been to Davis, so forgive me if this is not possible in a college town!</p>
<p>Looking from the outside in, I am thinking that you have to put in the time and energy to make friends, participate in activities, join clubs, get a job, something to focus on stuff that makes you happy. When you are happy, you will attract others who are happy and maybe those people will click with you.</p>
<p>Sorry if I am not much help. I think that making friends does not get easier the older you get, but you will have opportunities when you join the work force, move to a new neighborhood, go to the grocery store, etc. when you are out of the college town environment. I might seem easy to just give up and change schools, but it will be worth it in the future to just hang in there and get your degree. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>It can be tough breaking in socially as a Jr transfer at any campus - especially if you live off campus. If you want to be connected, you have to work at it, even when it’s tiresome. Since there are nearly 30k students at Davis now, I’d guess some of them are pretty cool - by your definition. It the only UC with it’s own airport and brewery, meaning there’s a huge variety of activities. Some of them must catch your eye. </p>
<p>I’d encourage you to spend as much time as possible on or very near campus, join more stuff, If you can’t bring yourself to go Greek, perhaps join some major related clubs/groups. Take part in hikes, ski outings, quiddich in the quad. Take a PE, zymurgy, wine tasting or fire eating course for fun. Go to some parties and hang out or dance or whatever. Walk around with a smile and engage people in your classes at the gym, wherever you are. Getting a job or a volunteer gig on or near campus wouldn’t hurt either.</p>
<p>Bottom line - you gotta put yourself out there. </p>
<p>I’m similar to you in that I’m not one to party, drink, etc. I didn’t put myself out there too much freshman year, and while I did make friends I didn’t have the best time either. This year is a lot of fun, largely because I started putting myself out there more and have found others with a similar mentality.</p>
<p>Long story short, there are other people like you out there, and there’s a lot of them. It’s up to you to put yourself out there and find them though. One thing I would suggest is to not completely give up on clubs. Instead of joining a ton of them though, I would suggest picking a couple favorites and sticking with them. If nothing else, that gives you fewer events and meetings to keep track of and shouldn’t burn you out as quickly as being involved in several clubs would.</p>