<p>OUCH! The public vs. private school barb. I guess it was bound to come out. People are going to choose what they choose. If they have the money it is theirs to choose what they feel the value is. We are fortunate to have a wonderful public school system. Really, really great. For us, the value in private school would be very low. If we did not have that, or our kids were facing violence and rampant drug use daily, then I might find the value of a private school to be very worth it. I don’t pretend to understand why someone else chooses their students schools, public or private. A persons children, their money, and the decisions they make regarding the two, are things I don’t want to get involved with.</p>
<p>Calling private school a waste of money is a generality that does not always hold true. Don’t even know if it holds true most of the time. I know folks who send their kids to private preschools and then to public school, and then really break their necks to get their kids into a private college. Where you personally draw the line is not necessarily where someone else would. Then I know folks who think that spending the money on private college instead of the state uni system is a waste. Close friend of ours who graduated from Big State U and are very happy and successful could not get it through their heads why ANYONE would pay the outrageous private college costs when their state had such good public unis. Then, their third child came to age, and it was very, very clear that he would do far better at a small school. In fact, it was probably an important factor in his squeaking through college.
I don’t consider spending money on education ,a waste of money. There are a lot of things that I got for my kids that I would whole heartedly agree were and are a waste of money. But a school that is a good fit, good environment, giving a good education is not a waste of money to me. Even in a good public school district, there are kids that would do better in a different environment. Since kids live, breathe, spend a good part of their time in school, it’s nice to find one that can do the most for them.</p>
<p>I haven’t read this whole thread, but got far enough to say it is just plain annoying. Give this woman a break! </p>
<p>I’m tired of self-righteous know-it-alls commenting on how to parent (particularly mothers commenting on mothers). There are many great ways to parent and kids can flourish in a variety of family environments. </p>
<p>Call me defensive, if you will, (as a professional working woman whose career took 10 years of university and would not allow taking five years off) but show me the friggin’ data that suggests that if your mom stays home for the first five years, you have a better shot at elite colleges! Give me a break. If you want to do that, can do that, great- all the more power to you. If you want to snidely comment on mothers who chose not to, grow up or at least base your harsh judgment on some facts. </p>
<p>Every one of my female professor friends worked when their children were young (such is tenure-track), and all the kids they’ve raised seem secure, happiness, well-rounded, interesting, confident, and yes, had lots and lots of great college options. </p>
<p>I do not judge women who choose to stay at home, but who are we to know, as outsiders, the complex pros and cons of what mothers do to manage their families. </p>
<p>Sheesh.</p>
<p>A reminder to all of us–when contacted by a writer for our “story”…just say no. </p>
<p>;)</p>
<p>Or make something up that’s really, really good.</p>
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<p>Completely agree. I also think this is where so many miss the boat with their kids. We were attentive parents when our kids were small, and as such, attended to their basic needs and did whatever we could to promote their development. However, the reality for us is that as long as they had quality care, attention, and were kept safe, it was not as critical for us to be with them fulltime. We both worked during those years. However, somewhere in those middle school years we realized they were entering a “make or break” period in their lives and that’s when we became a single income family. From that time through HS I can’t express enough how important it was to have at least one of us fully focused on our kids rather than work. </p>
<p>It’s not that they were lacking in ability or independence. It was simply that the various and sundry issues and influences encountered during that stage of development are so critical. We were young parents and retained vivid memories of what went on in our lives during those days – it’s an absolutely crucial period. </p>
<p>Personally, I think we’d see many more kids succeed if parents placed as much or more emphasis on committing their time during the 12-18 ages as they do during infancy. </p>
<p>This mom may have been over involved as far as helping with the college process, I don’t know for sure, but I find no fault whatsoever in when she chose to work versus stay at home.</p>
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<p>Can I nominate this comment for the silliest of the day? There is no “right” or “wrong” high school. The best school is usually the best fit for a particular student and one that gives that student the most opportunity to thrive. Whether this choice requires tuition or not, is really a private decision and shouldn’t be something disparaged by other parents.</p>
<p>Gourmetmom- absolutely agree. We have great public schools here, but some parents choose private. They make these choices based on their own child and their own family situation and it is not for me to judge.</p>
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<p>Heck–if we did that there wouldn’t be any posts in this thread.</p>
<p>Free country (yet) free choices, enjoy while it lasts!</p>
<p>My kids are products of a public school system, and a very good one. I have relatives who send/sent their children to private prep schools starting at about 3rd grade. I feel that those children have had many many more opportunities and were exposed to far more through private prep schools. It also costs a small fortune to attend, but I don’t think it is a waste of money if one has a great deal of money. Should the money go to more more expensive homes, redecorating, a longer and more expensive cruise, sit investments, or go toward education? I feel it is money very well spent if one has the bank account to comfotably keep writing the tuition checks. I say that even though I cannot afford to offer that type of schooling to my own children. Sorry if this off topic, but someone mentioned that private schools are a waste of money, and that it is over the top. I will agree that it is over the top for a family who is not very wealthy and cannot get a full (or nearly full) scholarship. I don’t think it is over the top for people who are wealthy.</p>
<p>^Again it is freedom of choice. My S. refused to be at private school. D. benefitted tremendously with the result of us not paying any tuition at college because of Merit scholarships. Both are OK. My plan is go with the flow, iinfluence to certain degree and then back off. My priority is definitely having a job, not kids’ college research. But having said that, I had done very good in college research and D. is in a program at college that I have discovered for her, not she, not her college counselor, cannot rely on anybody. While traveling to various interviews during college admission process and meeting very many parents in the same situation, I was shocked to discover how many parents have no idea, no information. I was better informed about opportunities in their own towns, than people from those towns. Unbelievable to be ready to pay thousands and have no information what the choices are (some do much more research buying a car). I would advise anybody not to rely on others including your own kids. You are paying money, do your research, know what choices / opportunities.</p>
<p>After all of that, D. who is going to apply to Med. Schools in few weeks, has asked me to come up with the list of Med. Schools and put all in spreadsheet just as I have done for her Undergraduate. Of course, she gave me criteria. I did that, she discussed everything with her pre-med advisor and ready to apply as soon as she takes MCAT and get her score.</p>
<p>However, I would never quit my job for all of that. Somebody else might be in different situation. By the way D. is in very selective program that has only 10 spots for incoming freshmen, that appeared to be a perfect match for her.</p>
<p>MiamiDAP - How did you do your research?</p>
<p>I agree with post 44. (Let’s demonize stay-at-home Moms, shall we?)</p>
<p>I also agree with post 50. Anyone who (like myself) has been interviewed by “journalists” know how inaccurate, melodramatic, and selective they can be about facts, to the point where they actually often publish factual errors, abundantly, in one article. I would have to know more intimate details about the story to verify how much of the article is sensationalism and how much is fact.</p>
<p>As to the theory that somehow the early years are all that’s needed to set a child on a right path, and he/she takes it from there, what a joke. Many teens need far more supervision than even toddlers need, if that’s possible. Others need and/or strongly benefit from mere adult presence. (Wait, what a concept: family life.) </p>
<p>Sorry to be sarcastic, but I see so much of the opposite in my work. I see dual professional couples with 1-2 abandoned children (anywhere from age 5 through age 16), while each parent pursues a 60-75 hr/week job, both parents stressed to the max, extremely little communication (including about school) occurring in the household, and well-educated parents acting surprised when sophomore is failing because he’s not turning in his homework and doesn’t know how to begin to study for tests. Zero oversight when the student is 14 doesn’t work unless that student has shown by previous behavior that he truly is, can be independent and has the skills and knowledge base for that. It’s not age; it’s performance. If you think that the typical teen these days is not often overwhelmed by media distractions which directly affect homework habits and other study output, I have a couple of local bridges to sell you. Some of my parents at work (the more responsible ones) have actually rearranged their schedules just so that they can be home between 3 and 6, because they suspect or know that Junior is surfing, i-podding, facebooking, I-M’ing, watching TV, on the cell phone, and doing anything but homework, and that media for Junior is Priority One.</p>
<p>That is a separate issue, I understand, from parental involvement in college admissions, but I see the general subject of supervision vs. lack of supervision being brought up as if the latter is a virtue which in itself promotes or results in independence, and shows superior parenting. Sometimes just the opposite happens. My most independent students are the ones who are most secure because appropriate parental oversight has happened all through the pre-college years.</p>
<p>As to college admissions, I actually think that for some aspects of college admissions (particularly the research), “It Takes a Village” (student-parents-school counselors-information highway). That is separate from the application efforts, essays, SAT prep, grades, etc., which are the student’s responsibility.</p>
<p>correction to my post: I meant (in reference to post 44): let’s demonize those who didn’t stay at home in the early years. Either way, these are personal decisions which are not by themselves either reflections of virtue/responsibility or non-virtue and irresponsibility. </p>
<p>In itself, a decision (or a need) not to stay at home is not indicative of quality of parenting, nor is the opposite indicative of an urge to micromanage.</p>
<p>I thought the remarks about spending money on private school were sarcastic to make a point. The point is that people judge that some parents decide (if they can afford to) to have one parent stay at home…be it the preschool years, the high school years, anytime, to benefit their kids in some way (not merely help with college admissions). I think someone was making the point that some parents choose to spend money on private schools or boarding schools to benefit their kids in some way. No difference. Not sure why there is so much criticism for moms who stay home to assist kids. I did it and don’t criticize moms who work full time. In fact, I give them a lot of credit as I know the hours I put into stuff for the kids and don’t know how they do all that they do.</p>
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<p>…Exactly!</p>
<p>The most critical years in a childs life is from middle school through high school. If a parent decides to stay home and be plugged in to their childs school work, activities, and friends than that is the business of only that parent. I feel sorry for the woman in this article…I wonder if she knew how crazy they would make her sound. Media has a way of slanting everything to sell the product. I bet she was ashamed of the way they portrayed her.</p>
<p>Parents Job Description:</p>
<p>birth - 12 = Educate, nurture, coddle, kiss the booboos.
12- 17 = Embarrass
18 23 = Sigh, keep mouth shut, write checks
23 - > Enjoy</p>
<p>^^^^
I like that!</p>