Michigan Essay!

<p>Hey parents, I just finished my UMich essay for "Discuss an issue of local, national, or international concern. Why is this issue important to you? How do you think it should be addressed?" I would like some critiques. I'd appreciate it - please pm me thanks!</p>

<p>Bump - please thanks</p>

<p>I've delayed sending in my application and have revised it. Can someone take a look and critique it - flow, do I get my point across, etc. I'm planning on sending it out by tonight. Thanks!</p>