Mild rant: so tired of waiting!

Sometimes you need to just whine a little bit, right? Unlike all of her closest friends, D has not been receiving acceptance after acceptance online and in the mail, and it is just so hard to wait. It just so happens that her friends all applied only (or mostly) to schools with pretty high acceptance rates and they are all very good students, and most of her friends’ choices have early action or rolling notifications. So it seems like everybody else keeps getting in here, getting in there. But not my D. She has seven outstanding applications. She was rejected from her ED1 school in December, and that was rough. She is awaiting her ED2 decision which should come in early February; this is a school that was pretty much tied with the ED1 school but much further from home. She has two other reachy schools, two matchy schools, and three likely schools. I add the “y” because this is all so unpredictable! She has only gotten one acceptance from one of the likelies with great merit aid, but it’s not really where she wants to go. In fact, two out of the three likely schools were added because her father and I insisted. We thought her list was quite top-heavy. So it still feels like we are waiting for good news, and it’s hard! D keeps saying " I just want to know already!!!" Her dad and I have been refraining from talking about it which helps! But inside my mind I am so impatient! I’m even finding that, when her best friend’s mom (who is my closest friend) texts me or calls me to tell me her daughter got an acceptance from yet another school, I’m starting to feel a little irritated even though that’s not like me at all.

OK, my rant is over. Is anyone else going through the same thing? I know there’s a long thread debating early decision and early action and if it hurts kids, but at this point I’m just frustrated that this stuff exists because I wish all kids would find out on the same day, so that no kid has to wander around feeling like everybody else knows where they’re going to college except for her.

Is this the music major kid?

Hugs, it is very hard waiting. We went through this with my S. He got 1 early acceptance from his most safety school that we only added at the last minute out of panic. He didn’t get an acceptance from any of his reaches or matches until April 8! It was really hard and he was a music major so it had to do with the longer wait associated with auditions. Just try to stay focused on enjoying the time with your D, it goes so fast and then it is gone. Easier said than done I know. Hang in there.

I feel for you. My son will be hearing from School application number 2 tonight and will have to wait for the final school #3 sometime in mid-April. My son feels it also. The senior class is all abuzz over where they are going and signing NLI and wearing school shirts to advertise it. My son will not know until they are all in as we need to make sure the cost is south of $35K a year. The wait until April is hard. Just have to go one day at a time.

For him he is concerned about where to go and I am concerned about the financing and developing a plan to pay for it over the next four years.

@thumper1 No, not a music major. Either you’re mistaking me for somebody else, or you have a phenomenal memory! She played a string instrument pretty seriously for a long time, but put it aside for various reasons over a year ago. She’d like to pick it up again and participate in music as a non-major, though. It’s funny, I just realize that my user name is sort of obsolete, but I don’t think I know how to change it or if I even can.

@cellomom2 Maybe I’m the one with the good memory, because I think I remember communicating with you about schools with good music opportunities for non-majors! The one likely school that my husband and I encouraged her to apply to that she actually is excited about is Lawrence University. The only thing she doesn’t like is the trimester schedule. She’s waiting to hear back about her Skype interview.

Thanks for the support!

Edited to add additional thank yous to @reformedman and @MassDaD68. Good luck to your son tonight @MassDaD68! Perhaps we can all use this thread to support each other as the wait goes on!

Nearly the same boat here.
S was rejected from ED, got an early acceptance from his rolling safety, and we are now waiting on 9 schools with notifications due to come in first week of April.
APRIL!!!
Time drags on so slooooooowwww

Hang in there @IBviolamom
It is hard with all these different sets of notification dates and different application types (ED, SCEA, EA).
The brightest kids often find out the latest.
I would say to you, even though she is not super interested in the acceptance she has - focus on the fact that she IS going to college. That a school loved her and was so impressed they gave her a merit award. Not sure what school that is, but from your other posts, it seems as if she was applying to all competitive schools, so it is an accomplishment that she does have an acceptance.

@wisteria100 Thanks! Actually the one acceptance was from a school that accepts over 70% of its applicants, but it’s a CTCL school. And in spite of my daughter’s lack of enthusiasm when adding this school to her application list, when she got the acceptance and saw how much merit aid they offered, it did lift her spirits quite a bit. She herself said, “Well, at least now I know I’m going to college!”

OMG @IBviolamom, I so feel your pain. Even though we have tried to avoid the subject, it is just hovering over us all. Our town is pretty provincial, so most people go to the one big state school or maybe a smaller state school, so those people don’t at all understand why in the world we wouldn’t know where she is going to college? So many people ask about “her decision.” I just come on CC to read what people say and to get through until March when I think we will know more. Then, I just tell myself, “Thank you God that I’m not living in Syria,” and I feel much better!

@luckymama64 That puts it into perspective.

I know what you mean, so many friends and family members have been asking us for months if our daughter has “decided” where she’s going to college yet. As if she has a whole lot of schools to choose from and just needs to make a decision. I can’t help but wonder if these people believe everybody applies to schools with rolling admissions or early notification, or if they just have no idea how the whole thing works! People seemed puzzled when we say we are still waiting!

@IBviolamom Yes! My D goes to Lawrence and I think we communicated at some point. There are certainly downsides to the trimester system. My D is the only one of her close HS friends at a school on trimesters so her breaks don’t mesh well with seeing her friends over holidays. And a lot of summer internships start before her spring trimester is over but she is applying for internships this summer and there are more that fit her schedule than she can reasonably apply to. Overall she likes the school so much and is thriving so that is just a minor annoyance. They get a long break from Thanksgiving to just after the New Year holiday when her other friends are still in school but she spent several weeks of that time this year in a program in Greece so it’s all good. Good luck!

IBV – you are experiencing one of the downsides of the ED game.

ED is awesome if the ED app hits the target – only one app submitted, decision made by 12/15, senior slide begins for the kid and the parents! But an ED miss really really drags out the process and makes it much more uncertain. In hindsight, I’m so glad that my kid’s top choice school was restrictive EA rather than ED.

While we brooded over the “missed” ED opportunities, the kid was able to submit four EA applications. By 12/15, those turned into four safeties. Lots of time now to mull over and re-visit those four as we wait for the RD decisions in two months. And EA would have still been helpful if there had been some EA defers or rejects – getting any kind of feedback earlier just helps to move the process along.

Getting most/all of the feedback on 4/1 does not leave much time until May 1.

@IBviolamom I remember now…I sent you info about the ensembles for non-music majors at BU.

My D did regular decision for all of her applications. There was no “dream” school for her, so she didn’t feel the urgency to get apps done early. Didn’t start hearing until late February/early March, while some folks were already set in December. Very nerve wracking, as notices extended all the way into the end of March. Lots of checking websites and emails (and the regular mail, in some cases, when a school’s way of telling you was sending a fancy admit package). When the first acceptance came in (it really was a safety for her), it definitely was a sigh of relief because we knew she was going SOMEWHERE. I will say that the stress might not be over when all of the schools have reported back. Hopefully, the choosing between schools where your D has been accepted will be easy.

Checking back in to say the wait is over! ED2 school sent decisions a week earlier than expected, what a gift, and she was accepted to Macalester!!! My daughter is over the moon!!!

Congratulations to your daughter. Enjoy.

Congrats to your D - for getting into Macalester and being so happy! hope all goes well for her (and you).
Many of us are still waiting and will be through March/Early April (or longer for some bc of waitlists etc.) to hear about schools our kids are hoping to get into. Enjoy!

Congratulations to you and your daughter! My S was admitted ED1 so the anxiety for us ended sooner than you. But I can appreciate the satisfaction you must be experiencing now. Cheers!

Thank you @CA1543 ! We were certainly anticipating the possibility of needing to wait that long as well. That rejection from her ED1 school was quite a blow to her confidence, even though it shouldn’t have been, and I think she and I both were prepared for another rejection. The good news is that she will be withdrawing her applications from all the other schools, so I think that means one less person on the waitlist at each of those schools if that’s how it works! Good luck to you too!

Congratulations to your daughter @IBviolamom