<p>Riverside Military Academy in Georgia.
I know two families who sent their sons there. I do not know if they were ADD. They were definitely underachieving boys, but not troublemakers or having any disciplinary problems or anything of the sort. The parents had nothing but good things to say about this school.
One boy graduated from University a few years ago, and another will graduate from University next year. They're not in the CC top schools, but they are very respectable universities.</p>
<p>Hi Folks,
Poor military schools. They get such a bad rap. My son attended one this year and it is nothing like the movie Taps! There is no hazing where my son went nor is their any type of abuse or outrageous shouting and punishment. The mission of most of these programs has changed to be one of college prep with a lot of structure and personal responsibility. Yes, there are "tours" and demerits but they are not brutal and can usually be traded off for helping in the dining hall or yardwork (son had to rake a section of the grounds for tolerating a smoke bomb and then was treated to a coke on the porch with the president's wife). No one can be forced to attend and the schools require that the young person be interviewed and write essays about why they want to attend. There is a lot of variation among the schools so one should always do their homework and research the school. I have often heard alumni describe it as "the best thing that ever happened to me" and they do seem very effective with unfocused kids. Two of the best co-ed ones are the Culver Academies and Randolph Macon. My son had very kind house parents that baked cookies during exam week and spent a good deal of time talking with him. The sports were real low key and the kids competed with other nonmilitary private schools. Very few of the kids my son went to school with were in any real trouble-just disorganized and unfocused. I always had access to my son by cell phone and the staff was very responsive in addressing my concerns.
mom0809-Riverside is a great school.</p>
<p>Military schools aren't prepping for the ivies, just good, solid colleges and universities. My son has had access to AP and honors courses. The study hall was called closed quarters. This simply meant simply meant you had to be in your room at your desk and not using media. Students earning honor roll self govern and they are not required to be in closed quarters and have access to rec facilities during study time as long as they maintain honor roll status. That was a huge motivator for my son and he has been an honor roll student ever since the first quarter. My relationship with him has improved because I am no longer nagging him about work or trying to enable him with a last minute project. </p>
<p>If you are after academic prestige, Culver sends more to top schools than the others.</p>
<p>Neither Culver Academies, nor Randolph Macon, nor Riverside Military Academy have support for ADD/ADHD students, according to boarding school review.</p>
<p>I would recommend consulting an educational consultant, who would know more about particular schools. You don't want to send your child to schools which specialize in children with behavior issues. It sounds as if your son needs an environment tailored to educate students diagnosed with ADD.</p>
<p>you should have a pm from me!</p>
<p>MomNeedingAdvice - I have been unable to post today but would like to refer back to some of your earlier/original points. </p>
<ol>
<li><p>It sounds like your son is clearly "gifted and talented (g&t)". Many people don't understand the difference between "very bright" and your son. Failing 9th grade reflects on his ability to deal with the situation he was in (school + support system) not just who he is. He has proven he can do the work - the trick is finding the right place to do it in.</p></li>
<li><p>I would find a counselor(s) who understand g&t kids. Anyone who would suggest a school where a supermajority of 12th graders have lower SAT scores than your son did in 7th grade does not understand your g&t kids. If your son qualified for SET as I am guessing he might have he might have free access to educational counseling from JHU: Services</a> for SET Members</p></li>
</ol>
<p>If he did not qualify for SET JHU's CTY program still has counseling available: CTY</a> Diagnostic and Counseling Center</p>
<p>The reason I suggest JHU is that your son has such a positive view of CTY. There are other g&t people available and other web resources where you can find them. I met someone that might be interesting at a g&t presentation if you would like another option.</p>
<ol>
<li> It sounds to me like one possible reason your son is resisting boarding school is that he views it as a boring, uninteresting place with draconian rules. Can you reshape the conversation into finding a school that has some of the positives of CTY along with the support he needs?</li>
</ol>
<p>I would look for schools that have strong SAT scores (medians above 675 if possible). The problem is that many of these schools have reputations of being hyper-competitive and require outstanding GPAs. At the very least factor in how many seniors have SATs above that of your son. But don't mention this issue to admissions as it would probably take a special person to understand the context of your concern.</p>
<p>One school that has rolling admissions and recruits within the g&t circuit is Conserve. I don't know much about the school beyond what is on the web site and a positive reference from a CC parent whose son was accepted but ended up going to another school. This is Conserve's web site: Conserve</a> School<em>-</em>Admissions / Application Process </p>
<p>If I was in your situation I would call Conserve and start the conversation with the admissions office. If you move quickly you might be able to schedule an overnight visit before the end of the school year. </p>
<p>My guess is to be be honest with the admissions officers you speak with about your son's test scores and this year's grades. At this point they are not fishing for applications they are trying to finalize the roll for September. But perhaps it makes sense to resist saying that he failed 9th grade but rather be specific and say x number of Ds or whatever he earned.</p>
<p>Another suggestion is to provide your son with a range of choices and discuss the implications of those choices with him. Your son is old enough and bright enough to assume this responsibility. He is also bright enough to make work or to not make work whatever he ends up doing as long as it is a reasonable fit for him. My point is that you have to find something that your son buys into. I personally think that a full-time job at McDonald's and paying for his room and board might be just the ticket for him to realize that the right school is the best option. </p>
<p>Even if he does work and does not attend school next fall/year I think that the long-term benefit of him making an affirmative decision to go to school wins the day. If he ends up with the work option I would have the room and board payments start the week after this year's school ends so that this experience does not turn into an extra dose of free time and money. I would expect that doing good work at a job or even deciding that he wants to go to school may help with the admissions process when he is ready to attend. Also, if you go down the job route I would require one or two admissions visits to schools so that he can be thinking of them while he scrubs floors.</p>
<p>Has your son connected with his CTY friends? Some CTY students use a LiveJournal site for social networking. Whatever the medium I would suggest that you encourage your son to reach out to his CTY network for the kind of support and advice that only they can offer.</p>
<p>Not an easy position for you or your family. I am sure that whatever you decide will be what is right for your son.</p>
<p>I also highly recommend Conserve (I sent you a pm). I think you (and he) would find it to be just the right supportive and challenging environment.</p>
<p>First - Do NOT worry about a school that has a lower average SSAT such as Trinity-Pawling. T-P for example has a population of kids that likley test terrible due to dyslexia. I was worried about that myself, but look at the classes offered, as long as there are offerings that will challenge him, it's not a problem. </p>
<p>I would HIGHLY recommend T-P Even though their learning center is not for ADD, I don't get the impression your son's probelm is learning, it's ORGANIZATION. They are highly structured, new students have required study hall during the day AND in the evening. And they have a wonderful merit/effort system (can't remember the name of it) where your on and off campus privildges are determined by your overall effort on campus. </p>
<p>I think the boys schools in general would be a wonderful choice. I know you said you were concerned about the "jock" environment, but that's really a sterotype. Sure, they play sports. But students at all prep schools are required to play sports. Avon for example has a brand new art/music center that is amazing. The biggest beenfit to the all-boys schools is that the KNOW boys. The know that boys are unorganized, forgetful and at times misplace even thier brains! They are there to develop them into men. They are more liekly to accept a boy who is not living up to his potential and help him reach it than some other schools (another reason why SSAT scores may be low).<br>
While Salisbury, Avon Old Farms, and T-P do not have specific programs for kids with ADD - I'd be willing to be it's not uncommon there. </p>
<p>My son applied to and was accepted at all 3 of those schools. I'll PM you later, need to get ready for work.</p>
<p>browse this web site and subscribe to some mailing list listing right hand site of the website.</p>
<p>Hoagies</a>' Gifted Education Page: Parenting and educating gifted children</p>
<p>Carolyn K., founder and director of Hoagies' Gifted Education Page is helpful and resourceful.</p>
<p>You can ask her opinion,too.</p>
<p>I agree with Linda S. on the SSAT. My son was in AG for years, qualified in the Duke TIP program and them bombed the 10th grade testing with the PSAT this fall (score was down at the 60th %ile). Schools that are effective with unfocused kids are used to seeing wild fluctuations with scores. I would also recommend being completely honest with them about failing this year. By being completely honest about everything, you are assured of a better school fit for your son. My final advice is go visit and do an overnight or day "shadow" experience. Visit several so you will have a comparison for your choice.</p>
<p>Observe how the opinion of this child, whom we've never met, has drifted from the mother's description in the course of 48 posts. If he is, as described, a "bright, failing student with ADD," he needs more than supervised study halls and a reward system for increasing organization. This board seems to skew towards very motivated, "book-smart" students, and sometimes it's good to step back, and acknowledge that we need more than intelligence and discipline to succeed in life. </p>
<p>It sounds to me as if your son's intelligence freed him from the need to apply himself in elementary school, but once he hit middle school, the nature of the assignments changed. Papers and projects are long-term efforts, and intelligence by itself can't overcome severe ADD. If others have diagnosed ADD, he needs now to learn techniques to cope with his ADD, especially if he objects to medication.</p>
<p>As time is short, I recommend that you seek the advice of a consultant. Any school can claim that they have programs in place for ADD/ADHD, but I'd assume that the quality and approaches will vary wildly.</p>
<p>You must also be forthcoming in discussions with any school. Hiding anything from the school runs the risk of setting your son up for failure. Also, if you do find a school which specializes in really bright kids with attention issues, they will have heard it all before.</p>
<p>I'm overwhelmed and so grateful for all the supportive comments and advice. I've spent a lot of time in the past 24 hours going through BS websites, and I started to confuse the schools. So I'm now going back to the websites, extracting pertinent information, and compiling it. I'm probably also going to call a consultant who was recommended by someone in a PM. </p>
<p>Periwinkle, thank you for suggesting Tilton. I haven't heard of the school, and I will look into it. I am not considering a military school as punishment. As hornet points out, some military schools offer high-level academics and a supportive environment. They are not my first choice, or anything I would consider if I weren't desperate, but the therapist suggested them because my son may not cooperate in the application process. Apparently military schools will work with kids like this. </p>
<p>smile dog, Thank you for the support and the book suggestion. I am considering Cushing, and I like what you had to say about it. I have had similar impressions from their website. </p>
<p>mom0809, thank you for the suggestion. Georgia is a little farther away than I'd like, and my son wilts in hot weathers, but I will consider it if I don't find a better possibility.</p>
<p>hornet, I haven't seen the movie - probably a good thing! I am, of course, not about to send my son into a brutal environment. This is something that I will look into carefully. The two schools you mention are the ones I had heard about.</p>
<p>MassDad2, Thank you so much for analyzing the situation - your comments are right on target, and they have helped me clarify things in my own mind. My son did not qualify for SET, although he was not that far away in math. I will definitely try the CTY counselling center - that's a great suggestion that I hadn't thought of. I would also appreciate the name of the person you met at the conference. </p>
<p>At the moment, my son is resisting any changes. He seems to have lost the adventurous spirit that he used to have, and he is clinging to the familiar. His self-confidence has deteriorated. I'm hoping that if we visit a few schools, he will be motivated to make the change that he so desperately needs. I have spent a lot of time on the Conserve website, and I think the school could be ideal for my son. The location is inconvenient as far as traveling goes, but everything else looks good. This one is already on the short list.</p>
<p>I also agree with your work/paying room and board option, as a last resort, except that he is still too young to drop out of school. And this would be a real last resort. I have learned recently that HS dropout rates are the same in the highest-ability group as in the lowest-ability group. I find this frightening.</p>
<p>My son really connected with the CTY kids both summers, but he did not keep in touch. He's very bad about keeping in touch in general, unfortunately. He has relatives he loves, and good friends who have moved away, and he does not respond to their emails.</p>
<p>hsmomstef, Thank you so much for the PM and the information about Conserve. I am intrigued by the school, and it could very well be the right place. I'm definitely going to pursue this.</p>
<p>Linda S, thank you so much for this information and the PM. I am heartened by your enthusiasm for boys' schools.</p>
<p>yan19454, Thank you for that suggestion. I am familiar with Hoagies, but hadn't thought of going there for the current crisis.</p>
<p>hornet, I agree that complete honesty is the way to go. I need to find out quickly whether a given school will consider my son, because we have no time to waste. I only hope the admissions people will be honest, too, and willing to discourage a doomed application.</p>
<p>Periwinkle, you have described my son's history perfectly. Middle school, which starts early here (5th grade), is when the problems started cropping up. In that grade, many students were having trouble dealing with organization. But most improved while my son didn't. His intelligence, and the fact that his teachers loved him, got him by 5th and 6th grade. Since 6th grade, he has been more and more affected by his lack of organizational skills. This has been compounded by the inappropriate academic level (remember that he gets high 90's on all tests, without doing any assignments). Now he is not even trying any more.</p>
<p>I couldn't find a list of schools still accepting applications on the TABS site, and the SSAT list is still not up. Can anyone point me to this information?</p>
<p>
[quote]
Observe how the opinion of this child, whom we've never met, has drifted from the mother's description in the course of 48 posts. If he is, as described, a "bright, failing student with ADD," he needs more than supervised study halls and a reward system for increasing organization. This board seems to skew towards very motivated, "book-smart" students, and sometimes it's good to step back, and acknowledge that we need more than intelligence and discipline to succeed in life.
[/quote]
Clearly we don't know this child and this comment is obviously addressed to me since it was my post that suggested a school with that merit system (which is not based on organization, but that's not the point). The point I was making, is that no matter what, many children like this need a school that IS highly structured. That WILL recongize effort - even if the result isn't 100%. The last thing you want is to put a student like that into a school with "optional" study halls.<br>
I certainly was not trying to say that the cure all was a study hall during the day and a merit system. I was speaking about the characteristics of one specific school that truly still might be a good fit.</p>
<p>Hi MomNeedingAdvice,
I don't have much advice to give, but I thought you might mention to your son that maybe he'll meet some of those CTY kids at Boarding School. My D talks with great enthusiasm about her 3 summers at CTY, she says it has a really special spirit. She keeps up with lots of CTY-ers, wears her autographed jeans, sings the songs from the "canon." It was her experience at CTY that led her to want to board for High School. She just loved that community. (Pi day, anyone?)</p>
<p>MomNeedingAdvice, I looked at TABS yesterday and did not find a list of schools still accepting. I'm pretty sure in years past there was such a list. They have a contact number so perhaps you could call them.</p>
<p>As Linda S mentions, I've noticed that several schools I've looked into have optional study halls. This is a red flag to me, because I know that my son needs the structure of mandatory study halls, in the evening as well as in the daytime. Periwinkle's point is that this may not be enough for a student with ADD. I don't know exactly what my son needs because his current situation is complicated by the fact that his school does not offer courses of appropriate pace and depth. He has responded to too many years of this, as well as the frustration he must have felt at having high grades turn into mediocre grades when homework assignments or, in one case, a project that he'd spent at least 30 hours on, are lost, by losing motivation. It's difficult to untangle this mess. Clearly he needs academic challenge and structure. Will this be enough, or will he flounder without medication? I don't know the answer, but I do know that something has to change.</p>
<p>Hi Linda S, no, my comment was not addressed to you in particular, more to the consensus which seemed to be developing among us all about this child. I find myself focussing on positive aspects of children all the time. We (all the commenters) seemed to be drifting to an assumption of, "bright kid, needs help in organization, which will be an improvement." I agree that boarding schools, and day schools, can often have more regimented schedules and curricula. As I don't know this child, I can only say that, with a diagnosis of ADD, and a really bright child, in my opinion, the parents should be looking for schools which do specialize in ADD. </p>
<p>The original suggestion for military school came from a therapist who does know the child. I would think that a military school might help a child who was an underachiever, but, in contrast, a student who can ace tests, and is trying to do the work, yet forgets to pass in homework on a large scale, has other issues to deal with. I also think that the question of the sort of fellow student he would encounter could make a difference. Right now, he may feel like an odd duck, and he may not realize how many of his current classmates have ADD. The behavior of kids with ADD can differ remarkably from kids with ADHD, and he may think that he doesn't need medication because he isn't hyper. Changing to a setting in which students are openly accepting of issues with attention could help him learn other ways of dealing with ADD.</p>
<p>Ultimately, no matter where your son goes to school, he will have to accept his condition (ADD) and the responsibility for dealing with the condition. To the extent that a school can help him in those 2 matters, they will be successful in helping him learning strategies to deal with his ADD.</p>
<p>Right now, it sounds like your son hasn't moved beyond denial of the problem. It may take some outside entity to help him realize that the progress starts with him. Perhaps that can be found at a more nurturing school. I have my doubts as to whether kids "wake up and smell the coffee" at a more rigid type of institution, as buy-in to the program is a necessity for progress. There may also be a bit of depression seeping in after a couple of years of this type of downward spiral you have described in the academic setting.</p>
<p>So many things to figure out.</p>
<p>ADD/ADHD</a> Boarding Schools - Boarding School Review</p>
<p>This list is for schools that support ADD/ADHD students.</p>