<p>Your son sounds like a fine, conscientious young man who wants to serve his country. You sound like a loving, conscientious mother who wants to keep her son safe.</p>
<p>I would ask him to commit to going to college first – and, at the very least, to follow a course that would lead to an officer position. Ultimately, though, he’ll have to decide. I’ve known several couples who were dedicated pacifists, raised their boys to be pacifists, then watched in disbelief and sadness as their sons joined the military. Part may be rebellion – doing the exact opposite thing their parents did in the 60s and 70s. Part may be that some people just are born with more of a risk-taking streak. Part may be the unselfish quality of wanting to serve one’s country.</p>
<p>In any case, I wish you both peace – for him, the peace that comes from knowing that he is doing the right thing for him; for you, the peace of being able to accept your son’s life choices even when they cause you pain.</p>
<p>I think that it is truly amazing that no one mentioned the Coast Guard in their posts. It is the smallest service, but one that treats its people very well. I was in the Reserves for 23 years and enjoyed every minute of it. Out unit did search and rescue, shuttle security patrols and marine safety. I am now collecting a small retirement check every month (please - no government handout bashing over this), that supplements my income. It was a great time. For the OP who has a problem with the war aspect, be aware that the CG is the service that saves lives, protects us from drug runners and environmental polluters, and has an every day important mission.</p>
<p>My nephew went to college on an AF ROTC scholarship, and is now an officer and doing his graduate degree at the Naval School in CA - all paid for.</p>
<p>Good suggestions, especially regarding ROTC while in college. If it comes down to it, from what I have heard from a cousin and a friend, you can negotiate certain things, so be aware of that beforehand. Get it in writing. Do your research. My dad and granddad served, but that was ages ago and everything is different now.</p>
<p>There is also the Merchant Marine. It has a small U around the SF Bay Area & ALL of its grads serve in the merchant marine & have maritime skills thereafter. We toured the campus but S was not a fan. My SIL thought it was a great deal & I believe tuition there is amazingly cheap. Didn’t get details because S wasn’t interested but I found it intruiging.</p>
You sound like me about 2.5 years ago. When my son said he wanted to apply for AROTC, my H and I were floored. But, as we educated ourselves, our resistance lowered and we came to support him. </p>
<p>If your son is a HS senior, he can forget about ROTC. It’s just too late in the process. But, if he’s a junior, there is plenty of time to learn all about it and make educated decisions. Be careful how much you fight him on this. The last thing you want is for him to make an impulsive decision out of spite. </p>
<p>My son received an ROTC scholarship but, after year in the program, decided it wasn’t for him. He was able to drop out without obligation. It was a positive experience. But, when his life goals changed, he knew he didn’t belong in the Army. </p>
<p>Rhetorical question/food for thought: What if your son wanted to go to one of the service academies? How would you feel about that?</p>
<p>^^ That link is to an alumni organization. Is there only one merchant marine academy? There IS one in the bay area.</p>
<p>“There is also the Merchant Marine. It has a small U around the SF Bay Area & ALL of its grads serve in the merchant marine & have maritime skills thereafter.”</p>
<p>'The mission for Cal Maritime defines our purposes as an organization. Our educational community subscribes to the following statement of what we will do. Our mission is to:</p>
<pre><code>* Provide each student with a college education combining intellectual learning, applied technology, leadership development, and global awareness.
Provide the highest quality licensed officers and other personnel for the merchant marine and national maritime industries.
Provide continuing education opportunities for those in the transportation and related industries.
Be an information and technology resource center for the transportation and related industries."
</code></pre>
<p>The good news is the high school didn’t host any recruiters. He admitted to visiting the storefront recruiters next to his school, along with a fellow classmate. Thanks for all the warnings about the reserves. He has a one-page glossy flyer from the Marine Reserves, but of course, it’s very vague. It starts out by saying you can “lead two lives” and " train with real Marines". Son is only a junior so I guess he could join ROTC. If he did, I feel he wouldn’t last long, especially when trying to combine it with sports in college. I think he’s looking for direction in life and feels like the military can give it to him. He’s agreed to meet with his guidance counselor so she can show him a Naviance program on careers and interests. I hope it’s a good program.</p>
<p>I had an AFROTC scholarship, and my husband went to the AF Academy, we served 7 years as officers and pilots. Most of our family/friends/coworkers are prior military, and we are obviously extremely pro military.</p>
<p>Having said that, I’ve told our kids that knowing them, there are some conditions should they desire to go into the military. This would not be the same for every kid, but mine would have to go in with their eyes wide open. We recommend they ONLY go in as officers, to the Air Force or Coast Guard, possibly the Navy. Recruiters absolutely lie, as they are trying to fill their most difficult positions first, not fulfill on the recruit’s wishes.</p>
<p>And they must understand (as our kids, of course they do), that as they say, the primary job of the military is to kill people and break things. Really. To imagine the purpose of the military as a peace corps mission is a fantasy, though our military does a tremendous amount of humanitarian service. One must be comfortable that if neccessary, they may be asked to fight and die for their country. I am so grateful to those that choose to serve, but I would want my kids to be in the optimal situation where they can prosper, contribute and thrive.</p>
<p>ROTC is probably a mistake for your son. It is hard work, requires a commitment and results in real leadership, study, training and experience. It then results in a 4 year service obligation. He would benefit from your support. If you are going to try to subvert his choice of ROTC he probably won’t make it any way. Less than half who start do. Save everyone the trouble. If he wants to be an officer despite your objections then more power to him. You need to man up and support his choice. My son enjoys being a naval officer.</p>
<p>If he is seriously interested in the Marine reserves, suggest to him that he look into the PLC program. That is the Platoon Leaders Class. At least have him look it up before he agrees to anything the recruiter is presenting. Suggest to him that he should meet with an OSO - Officer Selection Officer.</p>
<p>When I was an undergraduate, there was a small program associated with John J. Pershing, a famous general of the military in the 19th and early 20th century. Someone in my hall was in it. It seemed sort of like ROTC, only less of a committment (in terms of time and I believe there was no actual service to the military.) I think they did military drills and things like that. The idea was to instill discipline and learn about the military. Maybe he could look into it.</p>
<p>Perhaps, someone with a military background could expand upon my nebulous description, as I didn’t fully understand the program.</p>
<p>ROTC is the best pathway to becoming an officer if interested in AF or Navy. OCS is becoming more difficult to enter and has long wait times. Navy and AFROTC scholarships are more difficult to obtain now from what I hear. ROTC is no cakewalk either. S1 worked very hard at it and invested many hours outside of class. There is no college ROTC for Coast Guard. Their officers come from the U.S. Coast Guard Academy in Conn. So joining the CG would mean going in as enlisted. There is also the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy, a service academy just like USMA,USNA. It’s in Kings Point,NY. SUNY Maritime in NY also offers a pathway to the Merchant Marine.</p>
<p>S1 tells me, Navy is def. downsizing now. When he finished EOD sch. two years ago enlisted guys were getting a 40K bonus coming out of sch. because they were in high demand. He says enlisted coming out this year are getting zero bonus.</p>
<p>One of S1’s friends did the Marines PLC program. His college didn’t have any ROTC programs. He trained only in the summers during college (got paid) and was under no obligation until the very last summer I believe. It’s a good program if becoming a Marine officer is the goal but don’t want any distractions during the academic year.</p>
<p>Perhaps it is time to realize there is honor and worth in a life beyond the realm of materialism; that, service to one’s country and the immeasurable satisfaction of comraderie may provide your son the happiness he is seeking.</p>
<p>First, I can understand your shock because your feel blindsided and didn’t see this coming. But is it possible that your son really wants to join the armed services. One of my son’s best friends wants to and he is the most polite, intelligent, athletic people you’d ever meet. He’s thought about it and lives it daily.</p>
<p>You’ll just have to sit down and have a heart to heart and find out his motivation. Possilbly go with him to talk to one of the recruiters. Your son may not know the right questions to ask - you will. He may be thinking he’ll be on a “cruise” ship in Hawaii.</p>
<p>Get all the information. Treat him and his thoughts with respect and then possibly you can sway him away from joining.</p>
<p>If you get angry and yell and scream, it’ll get you no where.</p>