Totally agree @Happytimes2001 ! I would never let someone else’s biases or beliefs impact my decisions on paying for private school education for my kids. I know it is the best choice for us and that it will pay off in spades.
I love my job and my community college students, and would not change it for anything. Over the years a couple colleagues have pointed out the dichotomy of working in public education and sending my kids to private school. I’ve countered them with pointing out how much higher the pay and benefit scale is in public education and that I’m really just here for the money, lol!
@dramakid2 Yep, one of my data points was from a great public school teacher who told me she planned to send her child to private school for high school. The kiddos in 2nd grade. So she hasn’t even hit the bumps yet. I listened to everyone before deciding.
If I worked in a public school and was questioned about sending my kids to private school, I think I’d respond with “Quality education is very important to me. That’s why I’ve made it my life’s work over another career which might be higher paying but also why I am choosing the option for my child that is best for their learning style.” in your best Miss Manners voice.
@dramakid2 Your posts interest me because I’ve been a community college instructor for 24 years, and this year I sent my freshman daughter to boarding school on the other side of the country. When I tell my colleagues that I’ve sent my younger kid to boarding school in MA, I get blank looks and open mouths. I don’t get overt criticism or barbed questions, but I assume they are wondering if I’m secretly rich, so I feel compelled to immediately jump in and say that she got a scholarship for 75% of the tuition and fees and the rest is coming out of a HELOC. I wish I could stop myself from doing that! If I get a response aside from the befuddled looks, it’s, “Oh, that must be so hard on you,” as if I have amputated my right hand and sent it across the country. Lots of times I do feel that way, but it’s hard because there isn’t much of an opening to share how excited I am by the education she’s receiving and how she seems to be thriving (I’m always looking for evidence that the school is worth the sacrifices) and how the last thing she wants to do is attend the local ginormous PHS with her old friends, how she’s applying for leadership positions at the school, how she has friends from China, Korea, Hungary, Poland, all over the place, how she goes to Boston every other weekend, it seems, how grown-up she sounds (mixed feelings about that, actually, I’m nostalgic for her younger self) when we talk on the phone and when she comes home, how just plain smart and worldly she sounds when she’s home, how she is learning so much in so many ways. I don’t like accumulating debt, but for education, as others have said, I think it’s worth it, and I continue to be impressed by her school. I just wish I could share my excitement about this experience with people who could get it.
Response: “I sure miss her but I’m so thrilled to see her happy and thriving. It’s been such a growth experience for her - academically and in so many other ways.” Then expand as you wish. Give it a try. I’m sure it will feel really good.
@CAClover I gained practice after hearing too many comments about how much $ I must be spending from people that weren’t close friends. My standard response became, “I can’t think of anything I’d rather spend money on than my kids’ education.” There really was no way anyone could respond to that without looking bad.
Those are great responses @doschicos, I will have to add them to my repertoire!
And yes, people on this board do get it. I am looking forward to everything that Mercersburg will have to offer my son for the next 4 years (and beyond!). I hope in 2 years my younger son will follow suit, either there or at another boarding school that is the right fit for him.
I also work at a community college and I think because I’m in MA, folks are more accustomed to private higher ed and consider the high school scene much like the college scene where there are so many private institutions. I actually foresee people commenting more on the fact that my younger DD will attend a private day school known to them. Boarding school for most people in my area is really not a thing.
DH always told me…they can take back your car, they can take back your home…people can steal every possession you have, but no one can ever take away your knowledge.
@CAClover I also used to feel compelled to say something about “scholarships,” especially to people at work. Over time, I have become more comfortable with just saying (only if necessary) that my kids go to boarding school and only add more information if it is specifically requested and appropriate to tell. We did not pay full price for boarding school (and this is past tense because I just paid the final bill this morning), but what we paid was a lot for us, and it was worth every cent for what it did for our children. And we got some amazing good news yesterday, that we won’t pay more for college than we did for boarding school. So our house may continue to fall down around our ears, but we will be able to keep it.
Congrats on all fronts, @twinsmama! I don’t know where the time has gone. I remember so well when you posted from your car after getting “the call” from Mercersburg!!
