"mixed" decision letter

Parent Cafe
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<p>As many of you know, I have a 16 year old who is graduating high school a year early and is an applicant to BFA degree programs in musical theater which is a very different process than the "normal" one. For instance, there are not the usual reaches, matches, safeties....all are reaches (sounds insane but if you knew the field, that is what it is). They are quite selective and in fact, each has an admit rate in the single digits and involves the regular application process and academic review but also an audition where the student must sing, dance, and perform (act) monologues. Most of these only offer RD. One of my D's schools, Emerson, offers Early Action. Unlike many posters on the parent forum whose kids applied ED or EA to a FIRST choice school, my D applied EA to Emerson as it was the only school where she could find out early and not be bound, as well as get one of her auditions under her belt before an intense couple of months now of many others. By chance, she also happens to like the school a lot. </p>

<p>Today she received notification via snail mail. The envelope was the big kind so seemed very exciting as we had heard acceptances came in this kind of envelope. She had planned on waiting til she got home tonight but then she called from school begging me to drive to the mailbox and tell her. I told her it was a big envelope (a bit excited myself) and she wanted me to open it. I did and it said she was accepted to Emerson and had all the zings and whistles of congrats and all the stuff for accepted students enclosed. I kept reading further into the letter and learned that she was deferred until April for the BFA program in musical theater. I had no idea there was such a "decision". She is both admitted and deferred! I don't think any of her other schools have that kind of decision as it is all or nothing. Anyway, while it is not the outcome she would have hoped for or would have helped as she goes into the long winter of auditions, she has handled it extremely well if I may say so myself as did my older D at this time last year. She does say on the one hand, she did get into college and obviously could go there if not in the BFA program and get a BA in theater studies or something, not that she wants to, and there is that fall back. I am not surprised to see her get in academically because she is more than qualified to get in. They said the decision on Honors College and merit awards would be in March (she also applied to Honors with additional essays). The good news is she is still in the running for the BFA program (which is hard to get in) so it is not like a rejection. </p>

<p>Based on what other parents have shared, apparently last year, they only took 3 girls (not counting the boys now) in the early action round out of hundreds who audition early. I am not sure if that was the case this year or not. Others have said that current students have relayed that many of them got into the BFA program after the early deferral. Perhaps this school does not want to use up many slots this soon until all the auditions are done. Afterall, the total number admitted into the program is small in the first place. So, maybe she still has a chance there. But there is a long journey still ahead. </p>

<p>I don't know how to report this....she is both accepted and deferred, lol. One other friend from home/school also applied and got the same decision but she is happy to go there even without the BFA program and is ranked first or second in the senior class. My D has two friends from her summer program out of state who tried EA there and one got what she got and her best friend got in, YAY! So happy for her as she got rejected at her first audition to UM, a favorite. She is so talented and deserving and this was the brightest news in our house today.</p>

<p>Forging ahead. I am thankful my D has handled the decision so maturely.
Susan
PS, I have learned not to be "fooled" by a big white envelope! and feel a bit stupid about that part.</p>

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<p>Susan,</p>

<p>Wow! That is really a mixed bag, isn't it? Very awesome news, though, that she was an academic admit already! I so hope that it all works out for her in that she ends up being accepted to the BFA program in the spring. I believe her talents and abilities will see her through! Best of luck to your D. for the rest of her auditions! ~berurah</p>

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<p>Thank you for your good wishes, berurah. I don't think she perceived it as awesome news because it is about getting into what she applied to but yeah, I guess she at least got into the college but that part was not the tricky part for her there ;-). It is good news that she is still in the pile to be considered for the BFA program but will just not hear yet on that. It is not like other students of parents here where if she had gotten in early, she would be done with the process as it is not her first choice (though is certainly a favorite and she would happily attend) but it would have been nice to be accepted at this juncture as she goes into the next few months of the audition process and long wait. </p>

<p>While not quite the same process, one of her schools, Univ. of Michigan, makes you first pass "academic review" and be invited to audition and is rolling...and she actually got past that step over a month ago. That audition is next. </p>

<p>She believes in herself and while it is a difficult process, you have to be a strong person to go through it and that she is.<br>
Susan</p>

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<p>your daughter is disappointed that the BFA acceptance didn't come along with the academic acceptance. The audition process is soooooo grueling! I didn't mean to imply that it was a surprise that she got in academically...I'm just still reeling from my own son's outright rejection from Yale yesterday, so ANY acceptance looks "awesome" to me right now! ;-)</p>

<p>BTW, my son is also applying to U.of M. My dh is from Michigan, and my son thinks U. of M. is a wonderful school, not even counting the <em>fabulous</em> BFA program. We know quite a few people who graduated from that program and they are incredibly talented and accomplished!</p>

<p>At any rate, I'll be following your daughter's progress and hoping for the very best for her! ~berurah</p>

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<p>Susan, I'm sorry that she isn't completely "in" but at least she is "in." :) Congratulations to her - Emerson is a great school and, hopefully, she will have other wonderful options to choose from come April. I can't wait to hear where she ends up because I know it will be someplace great!</p>

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<p>Oh, Susan, this is such a mixed-feelings kind of thing, isn't it? I'm happy to hear that your D is taking it well, but it's got to be disappointing. I know how nice it would have been to have that one in-the-bag before the long winter of auditions. I know how talented your D must be just from hearing all of her wonderful training and accomplishments so I'm sure she'll get in at one of her schools. It's a tough thing for non-theatre parents to understand. :) I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your D for the next few months, and who knows, she may end up at Tisch yet! Sending you both a hug tonight.</p>

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<p>Wow, Suzie, thanks for sharing that--good news and yet not good news in the big envelope. It must have been kind rather a let down to realize she is deferred for the program she wants after getting a big envelope like that But it does sound like your daughter did very well, and congratulations are in order! A deferral must mean they liked what they saw. With such a small number of openings, and more kids to audition, I'm sure they are being very cautious.</p>

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<p>I encountered this once when I made a graduate school application. I applied to a cool program based in a mediocre university. Wouldn't you know, the result was that I didn't get into the cool program, but the mediocre university was happy to admit me "by the numbers." I didn't end up attending there. I later met someone who attended the cool program. His story of disappointment was applying for the Rhodes scholarship and not getting that. </p>

<p>I imagine your D is absolutely, positively determined to do the BFA. I am rooting for her. At least she hasn't done anything binding yet, so she still has options.</p>

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<p>Wow, Susan. That is an unexpected decision. But congrats on the acceptance part of it! You D sounds like a very mature kid... I guess she would have to be to be successful in this type of (musical theater) atmosphere. I can only imagine how competitive it is!</p>

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<p>The strangest thing I have heard on college admissions! But congrats on getting in and good luck for April. I know she will get in somewhere wonderful.</p>

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<p>Thank you guys, you are the greatest. It would have been nice to have one positive outcome going into it the admissions season but it is not like she is out...it is more like she just has to wait longer. She knew it would be tough. I do not have any information on how many they actually took early or how big the deferral group is or anything of that nature. Unlike most of your kids, it is not like her big big school and the gotta get into this one or I will die....though she really does want to get in and loved it there. I hope and feel one school will come through, and it may even be Emerson, who knows. </p>

<p>Alwaysamom, as you know Tisch is a favorite. When many of her friends got into Tisch ED the other day, for about two minutes she was berating why didn't she apply ED there as was her plan for years as maybe it would have all been done but then she reminded herself as to why she had made that choice and carried on. And of course she is still an applicant. She is auditioning mid Feb. there, doing the advanced dance option too. I do hope Tisch comes through, of course, but it's a "jungle" out there, LOL. As long as she does not put much "evaluation" of herself into this one deferral thing, I'm happy. I know someting positive is in store and she'll just have to wait. </p>

<p>I am so glad she did not dwell on it or act sad. I wasn't sure what would be but it was low key and she actually came home tonight very cheery as she was so psyched because after that phone call, she had her first full run through of the musical she created and is directing with a pianist she hired who was added into the process today...full band will be added Sunday...and how great it all went and she is so immersed and passionate about the whole thing that that was where her focus was. She loves that process and seeing her creation come alive. </p>

<p>We did not dwell on the Emerson decision and she is truly happy for her best friend and all her theater buddies out of state are such a supportive group who all root for one another. She was so let down when this best friend did not get into UM and so she was so hoping that friend would get a positive outcome today and that was the happy part. </p>

<p>Berurah...I did not know about your son and I am sorry that Yale did not happen for him. I am sure he is disappointed. I am hoping that he was not pining away for one school only and that it was merely a favored school, plus hoping he knows that as fantastic an applicant that he must be, that the odds are such that kids who are as qualified as the ones who get in, can be left out at a school like Yale. If he is someone who can apply to Yale, I am sure there are selective great schools that he can get into and I hope he can get over this one soon. I do not ever like to see kids be disappointed but it is part of life and am grateful that somehow my kids were able to not get upset in the early action round deferral situation. My child's night went ahead as normal and we only spoke about the situation a little bit. I am sure it is on her mind but she carried on with all else on her plate. </p>

<p>As in a place like Yale, they try to build a class of different types when they have many qualified to pass the muster and there is luck of the draw a bit if you fit the slot of a type they need. Well, this BFA thing is a little like that too. For instance, my D would say she is not even "up against" her best friend applying to the same list of programs because their types and voice are so different, that they would never play the same roles and so all of that comes into play too when they take a small handful. </p>

<p>Alwaysamom, I will have to let you know which studio my D's BF got at Tisch (got in ED)....first choice is Atlantic (your D's), second is Stella. And thanks, you have been a wealth of first hand insights about Tisch. Say hi to your D, miss her on the forum. </p>

<p>Susan</p>

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<p>Susan,</p>

<p>Thanks for the kind words about my son. As with lots of kids on the Yale board, this was his first big "failure"--in HIS eyes, NOT mine, as I admire him greatly for laying his psyche on the line for a hope and and a prayer. He was doing much better this evening, and I think he will be back to his strong, determined self very soon. You have to be able to take the blows if you play in this league, I guess. ~berurah</p>

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<p>Wow, the MT admissions process sounds brutal. Probably parallels the Broadway MT scene and difficulties of getting a job there - but I know that MT folks are willing to face all that and more just to have a shot at professional performing. They have my admiration!</p>

<p>Susan, I'm sure your d will be in a very happy place come April. I've read about her commitment, drive, and extensive stage experience on this board, and there's no way those attributes won't pay off. (Did I read that she recently received an award in a national competition?). It's just very, very hard on the parents as we watch our kids deal with setbacks and disappointments. Emerson should re-think the big envelope approach when there's a deferral to a particular program involved - maybe a letter explaining that the audition will be considered again in the RD round, followed a week later by the acceptance package.</p>

<p>Berurah, your son is also bound to be happy with his choices come April. As Susan said, someone who'd apply to Yale is the kind of student many fine schools would be thrilled to admit. Yale seems the most bizarre of all the Ivies wrt admissions decisions, at least to me. After reading this board last year, I'd have been willing to bet that they didn't admit anybody!</p>

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<p>Soozie:</p>

<p>What a bittersweet experience! Your D is not only extremely talented but also very strong and level-headed. I have every confidence she will get into a really good program, whether at Emerson or elsewhere.</p>

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<p>Well, it's too bad that she didn't end up with one in the bag. . . but I'm sure there are better birds to come.
UMich is a wonderful school in what is arguably America's best college town. My roommate (back in the 60's) was a theater major. What a great department. The liveliest parties and the closest group of kids. Gilda Radner went on to the biggest fame and fortune, but there were many others who did well on Broadway, in Hollywood or in TV or advertising.</p>

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<p>Susan: Sorry to hear about your daughter's mixed decision, but with your guidance and her brains and talent, I'm certain she'll have fantastic choices in April. I also believe that kids who are serious performing artists (actors/actressess, musicians, figure skaters, gymnasts -- any area where you have to practice, practice, practice, then "stand and deliver" during an audition or competition) are constitutionally well-suited to wait out big decisions like college. Best of luck to your daughter!</p>

<p>And Berurah, I am so sorry to hear about your son's Yale disappointment. (And you've been such a good "mom" to the kids on that board.) I know that he will also have great choices in April.</p>

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<p>Berurah, I did not hang out on the Yale board this fall like last year but I am sure it is agonizing and brutal to see such outstanding kids such as your son and others not get into Yale. Frankly, I have a daughter in that "realm" and the way I see it, as a mother, nobody wants to see their child disappointed....yet, these type of kids, in their short lives to date, often have NEVER had setbacks or disappointments and are used to exceling and succeeding and while I do not wish disappointment on anyone, it is part of life and at some point they must experience it. I only know that with a pool like at Yale, kids like your son are outstanding in the first place and are destined to do great things and go to great schools. Hopefully he gets over this quickly. Last year when my older D was deferred at Yale, she took it so well and I think it was cause she said she did not expect to get in, not because she did not believe in herself or think she had what it takes, but because she had read enough to know that at that level, once you make a "cut" to be considered and qualified, there is an element of a crapshoot in odds, as there are far too many outstanding kids in the Yale pool. So, knowledge helps, in this case. Also my D was not one who felt it had to be X School or bust. She had two first choices last fall, and Yale was only one of these, but since it offered EA, she did it to get the boost there but it was not like she did not love other schools too. That helped. By midwinter, she had three first choices, tied in her mind...and my hope was if she could get just one, that would be a happy ending. She still liked all the others on her list too. Well, she did get two of the three first choices, and Yale was the one she did not get. But I can tell you that April is way better than Dec. when it comes to the letter opening because all is not riding on ONE school....as she opened Yale, she also opened plenty of "yes" schools so there was NO dwelling on the "no" when she had "yeses" in hand. Dec. is different as you only have one letter! Also, tell your son that he only has to get into ONE school because he can only go to ONE school and there is no prize for umpteen acceptances. He just needs one he likes and that is bound to happen. It will turn out well. Also when you look at kids who did not get in ED or EA last year to places like Yale (such as my own kid), most are happy where they are at. My own child could not be happier in a million years than she is now at Brown, so believe me, it will work out. Share those stories with your son!</p>

<p>To those who posted the last few posts on this thread, yes, performing artists are used to this kind of audition odds and it takes a certain kind of person. My D has probably auditioned over 50 times at least in her life, including Broadway, so she is used to putting herself in front of others and being judged. This time the stakes are higher as she says, as this decision will spell out the course her life might take in the coming years. Someone asked about a national award, and yes, I hope my D goes into this next round realizing she did win a national award (not the only winner but in the top 10% of kids in country who auditioned) and so she was in a field of kids like those who are going for these programs and I hope that brings her some confidence though honestly she is a confident type person overall and can self assess reasonably. </p>

<p>My D was wondering just how many got this acceptance but deferred for BFA in musical theater result at Emerson (other BFA programs do not handle it this way and you are either in or out) and what the acceptance odds are for those who got this result and asked me to find out. I called and was never planning to discuss her specifically but just to get some information and perspective, not knowing if tons of kids got this and if the odds are low or just what. It turns out her admission officer was given to me and she was very lovely. She said they only took a "handful" for BFA in EA (sounds like last year when a mom said they only took three girls and I surmise three boys too, out of many hundreds who tried for the BFA in MT) and that they only accepted but deferred into BFA a small percentage of kids. She said because the overall total of numbers they can take is so small (often it is like 20 kids total per year), that they do not take many in the early round to fill up the slots and they only defer those that they strongly will consider. She said that last year, they took 50% (!) from this group of BFA deferrals, in fact. That was all I was trying to ascertain in terms of perspective but she went on to say that my D was extremely strong in the academic pool (honestly this part is not a total surprise because she is more than qualified academically at Emerson and in fact is an applicant for the Honors Program there), and so she said that she should remain hopeful and that was a nice thing to learn as the odds are not entirely slim. She talked about how they hold off in deciding until April because of the small numbers they can take. The man who had answered the phone said that many years the EA kids are the most eager and talented but they have to wait until they see the many hundreds of auditioners still to come before they fill the slots. So, all that gives some perspective. Unlike some Ivy schools, if you get deferred, the admit rate is not as strong in April but this time around sounds like a small number are in this pile and they have historically taken half of them. Hope my D finds that description helpful to learn because it is not like she did not get into Emerson and only a handful did so far. At least I learned more about the numbers there which helps. </p>

<p>I am pleasantly surprised that my D did not get upset or dwell on it and took it better than I would have imagined. I had a prediction she would not be as easygoing about it as her sister had been but she truly was. She even said as she went to bed, that she had to remind herself that she chose to graduate early and she is supposed to be in tenth grade (is the age of a tenth grader) and she is up against older kids who have had more years to "hone their craft" (though honestly she has functioned in that grouping for years and does fine. But I think she was just looking at the overall picture and looking at all sides of it and not knocking herself down, thankfully, because she should not be. Nor should other kids who do not have the news they want yet in this game. It all will happen in due time. </p>

<p>Momrath....she does love UMich by the way. Heading there next. It is considered one of the top programs in her field. She loves that program...we were there in Sept. The chances are so difficult, though. ;-) </p>

<p>Thanks everyone for being friends to share this stuff with as I do not do this with friends at home! And you are all going through it and we all will together!
Susan</p>

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<p>I've seen a few things like this, worried about it for us, but it's hard to conceive of a program quite so selective. Glad your daughter took it so well, soozievt. Tell her to break a leg on the rest of them (this one two, since a deferal isn't the end of the world).</p>

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<p>Well lets say she does go there, but is not in the BFA program initially could she transfer into it?</p>

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<p>Sorry to hear about your D's disappointment, Susan, and about yale for your son Beurarah - it is so competitive.
Susan, will she be hearing from each of the schools as they finish auditions? or do they all announce acceptees in April? Either way it will be a tough spring. I guess if you knew you had a slot, you could decide how many more auditions to pursue, but on the other hand, if a child was getting the rejections one by one, that would be awful!
I know she will find a great place and be successful - we WILL hear her on Broadway one day!</p>