<p>How can I express my self in words now? My mother and my sister. Maybe my words should be cold and clear cut. My mother is a drug addict. This interfered with her ability to raise myself and my little sister. Due to a longer story; I currently live independently from my mother in public housing. I work two part time jobs; one on the weekend and another during the week. This brief sketch should provide enough background information about me. </p>
<p>But the issue of college is another issue. My little sister now stays with my mother. But my mother have been abandons her to get high on the weekends; where my sister dont have no where to go, and if she can make it into the house (where my mothers stay with her boyfriend), she is there with an older guy. My sister is in her early teen yearsso this man is not to be trusted. With this family situation, I dont even know if I will be able to go to college. The only way for me to pull my sister from this type of environment is to take custody of her and then go into the military. I dont like the idea of her staying with family becausewe (my sister and I) have live with our oldest sister over the span of five years. But during this time span we were threaten several time that we were going to be put out on the streets. Also, while I was homeless this year, my sister was sent down to Atlanta to say with a family friend but this family friend and my sister had issues with one another ( I didnt know what exactly went on down there but it was a communication with other family members was one of the issues, as well). This places me in limbo because every one knows May 1st is approaching very fast. </p>
<p>What do you CC parents think about the military route for me to provide for my sister?</p>
<p>I don't see how you could look out for your sister if you were shipped off far away by the military. </p>
<p>Is there any possibility of getting local social services involved? Would your sister be better off in foster care or a group home away from family?</p>
<p>I think she would have to travel with me in the military or I stay here in the U.S. I trying to work with a social worker but she have return my call yet. So, posted here just to get ideas on what to do.</p>
<p>I talked to my guidance counselor about the situation, people who are in position to help is going to help; but, what every one seem to be indicating to me is that is my choice. I'm at a lost because it like no one in my family could ever understand the sacrifices I have made in my life to go to a good school, with scholarships--to then place me in this situation; everyone in the family knows what my mother have done with me and my sister but only then my oldest sister was willing to take us in. But she got sick of else as well. </p>
<p>But then, I do have another option as well, I could work in the local area; go to the local HBCU in the area on a full ride and take her under my wing. If I do go this route, how will have insurance on my sister, will I be even to support her adequetly.</p>
<p>I hate being blunt, but me and my sister come from the bottom of America, so she wouldn't even be education wise be fitted for boarding school. And that after one factor in the fact we are black.</p>
<p>Oiram -- the military won't work as a solution because you will not have control over where you are stationed, and you very likely will be sent to places where your sister can't come along. It would only be a good option if there was a safe & secure place where your sister could stay, and there still would be all sorts of legal issues you would have to get in place before military benefits like health insurance could be extended to her. So it is not a good short term solution.</p>
<p>Your sister may qualify for medicaid. Are you over age 18? You might be able to work with social workers to get yourself appointed her legal guardian, but in such a way that she still qualifies for various benefits, like medicaid or food stamps or whatever is available. </p>
<p>Which HBCU would you be attending locally? If you did not go there, where would you go -- and what would the financial situation be?</p>
<p>My aid have been gap at the Universities: Miami (FL); Randolph College(VA)[just went co-ed as well starting 2007 fall]; Haven't gotten award letters from Morehouse College(GA) nor Howard(DC) (both HBCUs); </p>
<p>Aid look very good at: James Madison University (VA in state; as part of a scholarship set up to help needy and minority students meet Cost of Attendance expect there is no money given for books)</p>
<p>Then the local HBCU is Norfolk State. Live in the same city. Got full tut ions plus the various state grants I quality for. </p>
<p>Hate to state this but it is life--I know sister can see long term--I did think she could stay with a family member for just until boot camps is over with and I could sort all of legal matters out as well. I don't know thou; but I willing to give and talk about ideas for now.</p>
<p>I have faith in education. I think you need to go to a good school first. You will be in a better position to help you little sister once you get yourself a good education. At this point, you are practically homeless. Use your college as a home base to develop more contacts to help yourself and your little sister. Raise a teenager is difficult, you need to hold a strong rope first. I doubt military will allow you freedom and flexibility to help your sister.But I don't know the subject. I am guessing and stand to be corrected.</p>
<p>I don't know to much about the military either, I hope some with experience with the military may see this thread and post more info. Of course I still want to go to school. But, when some else life lies in the balance than what else can I do? Then, it is that May 1st deadline coming soon too...</p>
<p>Do not join the military! Once you join, you will have to go where they send you which could very well be Iraq. You will not be able to help your sister from there. </p>
<p>Don't throw away your opportunity to get an education. Pick the college that works best for you, considering how you can take care of your sister. Talk to social workers, counselors, whatever support services are available to you. If worse comes to worse and you need to put off college, ask one of these people to contact the admissions office of the college you want to attend, explain your situation and see if you can return next fall with the same financial offer.</p>
<p>You are a sweet person who has been through more than a young person should have to go through. You are very responsible to look after your sister. I send you love and hugs. </p>
<p>Oiram - it is your life and your choice. None of us here can fully understand your situation and we don't live it. We can only offer our limited perspectives. Please let us know what happens.</p>
<p>Take a long view, save yourself first. Both you and your sister's life is in balance now. But if you establish yourself in four years, you could save her then.</p>
<p>Well, right now my sister is with me. But after my mother's "high" she always have a bad attitude. But as you, Carola said, no can fully understand but the input I have received I am grateful for.</p>
<p>I'm scared about if shes will be intact with in the next four years. If my mom is doing the things she is doing now; I fear my biggest fear will come true, my sister could end up getting hurt--and I really don't if I could even handle that I could have done something to prevent and deter anything from happening to her.</p>
<p>can you get legal guardianship of your sister -- attend college and have her live with you? If you could manage to qualify for food stamps and medical insurance, that just might be enough to get the two of you through the next four years.</p>
<p>Could your older sister take her in? You may be able to work with a professor as an assistant or doing other stuff on campus to sent her some money to help out.
I just think this is a critical time for you to study. Your status as a college student will be helpful for the situation I hope.</p>
<p>That is very possible with the local university and which I was considering as well. I can get legal guardianship with no problem. But I'm worry about the monentary issues, and will I be able as up and coming man be able to handle a teenage girl?</p>
<p>INverse, in 06, the whole family was staying with the big sister but we were evicted from the house. But my mentor help get the place where I live at now. She is extremely bitter toward me and about the whole ordeal. I almost had to fight my older brother about the ordeal but now he know in jail for a hold host of other issues.</p>
<p>Oiram, neither the fact that your sister is from the lower economic strata--nor that fact that you are black is going to count against her at boarding schools.</p>
<p>Besides your counselor--you need to talk to her counselor to see what resources there might be for her --in her age bracket.</p>
<p>Teh US military has lifted many many people into the middle class. it is a great option--but it is not as good as the ones you have put on the table for yourself. You have the potential to lift you and your sister MUCH higher with the college degree.</p>
<p>Try not to panic and toss out the best opportunity of your life.</p>
<p>Which school is giving you the best financial offer? Which one are you hoping to attend? </p>
<p>Even though this is an unusual situation, it wouldn't be the first time they've had a student who was assuming responsiblity for a younger sibling. It happens and they will be able to help you cope. They might even call local boarding schools to see if they could take your sister on a scholarship basis.</p>
<p>Keep asking people for help. There is a solution to this problem.</p>
<p>For example, you would be close to Atlanta if you went to one of the HBCU's. Can your older sister take your younger sister from Sept to June? You could keep tabs on your younger sister --and you could take her for June thru September. Do you have grandparents? Do you have anyone in your circle that lives in a semi-decent school district?</p>
<p>Why do you say your mentor is bitter? Or were you talking about your sister?</p>
<p>Oops, sorry for the faulty reference. It is my sister who is bitter. And James Madison University in Harrisonburg is is offering the most aid as right of now.</p>