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<p>More likely, you will be labelled “the kid with that mom.”</p>
<p>I told my mom about what everybody has been saying here, and now she is even more dedicated to stay in the dorm b/c prices for hotels and crazy (it is 3 day min and prices are jacked up).</p>
<p>However, she said that she will “hide” in my dorm and maybe just read a book, while I can go out and meet people. Its not that she wants to be by my side, she just doesn’t want to pay! LOL.</p>
<p>Maybe we shouldn’t let others dictate what we do. You’ll be fine.</p>
<p>I did get a room at a 3 star hotel in Ithaca for 250. We are on the WL for Statler. Our kid is not a freshman, so we have more flexibility.</p>
<p>If all the hotel rooms are booked, doesn’t that mean there will be a lot of parents in town? And won’t those parents be taking their kids out for dinner as a final “goodbye”? And doesn’t that mean that there won’t be much going on in the dorms? I bet no one would even know that your mom is staying with you – your fellow students will be too busy dealing with their own parents and all the other things that are going on.</p>
<p>@ndubnov: Show this thread to your mother! The advice of other parents may help her face reality.</p>
<p>Hi
I moved S in last year. Rooms in Ithaca were crazy $. We drove up and stayed in Cortland on Thursday night and moved him in on Friday. Spent the entire day together with runs to Walmart etc and had a nice lunch in The Commons. We got his ID at the Gym and did some other things on campus (went to bookstore and Johnson Museum). Around 5pm, he was ready for me to leave and I headed back home. He and I were both ready. I honestly do not think she needs to stay for the Saturday morning event or spend the night in the dorm. Many parents left on Friday afternoon.</p>
<p>Alright, thanks for all the good ideas. I hope this works out.</p>
<p>If any other kids on your hall get wind of this, it won’t make the best first impression…</p>
<p>I’m returning my rising junior son to campus that weekend. Yes, all the hotels are full. I’m staying overnight in Binghamton. There are lots of options outside Ithaca and she could find a place to stay if she wanted to.</p>
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It will work out fine whatever happens … even if she ends up staying with you it is only 1 or 2 nights of a 4 year experience … no worries either way!</p>
<p>If you have a single Ill assume you are in Dickson. The move in day is really frazzled, noone will see or care who is in the room. Most parents are taking their kids to stores and to an early dinner (except for the crazies like us who insisted on cafeteria food just to see what its like) and then the kids go to mandatory floor meetings. Then there are some “mixer” type of team building activities. Mom can stay in the room for that, or go to some of the many events geared for parents for that night, since most parents stay for the activities of the following day, including Deans welcome, etc. Bathrooms should not be a problem since the freshmen are pretty much segregated by gender and all she has to do if the freshman is a guy is just walk down the hall to the girls hall and the girls bathrooms. From my observation last year on my kids floor, only one set of parents left during the move-in day, everyone else had parents staying for the ceremonies the next day. I dont see this as an issue of letting go. I see this as an issue of economics. OP has the rest of the year to be mom-free.</p>
<p>Senior here.</p>
<p>This isn’t ideal and if there’s any chance she could stay somewhere else that would be better, but in reality as long as she doesn’t run around introducing herself to everyone and telling them your baby stories nobody is gonna remember she stayed the night. If she must stay with you, set some ground rules and make sure she knows you might come back late and or drunk. That is your right on the first night.</p>
<p>My first night I went out and got back really late then barely got up (hungover) in time to run to the president’s welcome speech ceremony where my parents (who stayed in hotel) were waiting. That was ideal. I barely saw the kids on my hall that day (I’m now great friends with many of them) and I can hardly remember seeing their parents, let alone where they stayed etc. In fact, it took a couple weeks to really settle in and get to know what’s going on, so don’t sweat it. As long as she can give you personal space and not run around outside your room after like 9 PM nobody will notice.</p>
<p>Important to note that this would be completely unacceptable if you had a roommate.</p>
<p>Mom needs to put her child first and find a place away from the dorm. This is completely selfish on her part. Having trouble letting go?</p>
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<p>…I agree, I don’t see it being that big a deal.</p>
<p>“My mom’s crashing with me tonight because we couldn’t get a hotel room.” As long as she (mostly) hides out, this is all you need to say to keep people from thinking it’s weird. I agree that it’s not ideal, but if she wants to be there the next day, paying a huge amount or driving an hour away and an hour back (or more) isn’t ideal either.</p>
<p>Okay, I am going to say… I think it is quite inconsiderate of the COLLEGE to set up move in this way. Both of my Ds had dorm move in during the morning hours, some afternoon activities that included parents, then parents shooed out the door between 5 & 7 pm. Having move in on one day and activities the next requires parents to stay in the vicinity of the college, which jacks up the cost for them.</p>
<p>That said, I guess it does depend on your mom. Some moms are… lower key than others. You will survive if she stays with you, though. And eventually will even be able to laugh about it if she embarrasses you in some way…</p>
<p>She better get use to high hotel costs when visiting - it’s part of the cost of college. And a drop in the bucket overall.</p>
<p>Tell her you must get-off-on-the-right-foot. Having Mom there staying with you does not make a good impression (and I’m a Mom)</p>
<p>PAYNE101 - your post #30 is a breath of fresh air.</p>
<p>very sweet post Payne101–made me tear up actually…</p>
<p>Ndubnov–first, congratulations to you for your admission to Cornell! You can make this work either way, and taking that attitude will get you far in dealing with lots of assorted challenges life will throw your way. While it may not be ideal, or make sense to some of us to stay in our kid’s dorm, it can still be something that can be workable. In sharing our opinions, let’s be careful to not inadvertently add to stress for this young person who is trying to negotiate a challenge. He will not be doomed to ridicule nor is his mom being unnecessarily selfish. life is not so black and white. If your mom remains unable to make alternate arrangements, it will be okay. Talk out what you need to make it comfortable for you and go from there. Lots of luck to you. This is only one night…</p>
<p>I’m glad I’m not alone. and I’m realy hoping things work out for Ndubnov…I’m cheering her on and wishing her the best.
I realize everyone’s situation is different… and I watched a lot of friends with helicopter parents. but my Mom is a little different. She looks beautiful & normal but she’s borderline special needs and her mind doesn’t always work the way it should.<br>
So I’m use to people making comments about her or talking about her … but surprisingly you realize that the people that talk badly about other people are the ones that just don’t understand. I have no shame in admitting that I love her deeply and will always watch out for her. if someone made fun of me during move in day … I’m confidant I’d get over it and tomorrow I’d probably make friends with the guys and have a good laugh.
Good luck Ndubnov…</p>