<p>Until the 6th grade, I was at the top of my class- even given the label of "gifted". I let the prestige hail over me until mid-7th grade. The change occured for many reasons: First, I had just moved to a city, where I finally found more acepting people (I had always been the poorest of my affluent schools). Second, my family was completely distorted, and even if they would have supported my education, no one had time to. During highschool I got a full range of grades (45s- one 99), about three honors classes and APs were completey unknown to me and out of the question. I often regret the opportunities I ignored, and sometimes find myself living in the past- wishing to go back and care. However, I am learning to get over what I cannot get back. I am in my first year of college at a completely mediocre school- perhaps as undriven as in highschool, but this time I have the good grades to boot. Anyway, I graduated with a 75 average and felt lucky to have gotten into the school I did (thanks to "solid" SAT scores and schools caring about SAT scores for college rankings). Now I am ready to transfer to Binghamton,a state school...it is definitely better than I thought I could ever do. </p>
<p>Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo now that I am ready to put in my deposit and leave the city (which is way too much for me to handle-too hectic!!!!) my mom will NOT stop putting me down. She speaks of my selfishness (because I do need her to pay the deposit) and how instead of being in the library I should work- as she put it "all this research does not pay you". It is an uncomfortable feeling. She tells me that I should stay at my commuter campus because in the end I get about $3,000 extra from financial aid each year( if I go to Binghamton I will have to take out $5000 per year). She is mad that she has to pay for the deposit, but it is the ONLY thing I have asked her to pay towards my education. I wish she could be happy that I am going to a school that will give me a better quality education...I hope in the end she will be.</p>
<p>I can borrow and am completely willing to...maybe my topic for the thread blurred my concerns: I am more upset at the fact that my mother would rather I get a laughable education than have to take out loans for a better quality school. Basically, she is unsupportive fo the things that I want, and to her, me wanting this is selfish.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, you can't change your mother's mind. What you can do is support your own dreams and education by doing whatever it would take for you to go to a better college.</p>
<p>I agree. She doesn't get it. You do. Take the opportunity. It will put some space between you and your mom. A job is not a bad idea. Helps get a little "money in the bank" as there will be times you need a little cash, and you don't want to have to ask mom.</p>
<p>I worked even in high school because I had too, but it did help me to become even more independent of my parents financially. I worked through high school, college, and even one all nighter a week drawing blood gases for two years during med school. With FA and loans, my folks didn't pay anything towards my education, altho they did pay to keep me on their health insurance, and on their car insurance until I finally had a car in med school. My mom didn't "get it" until many years later. I agree with Northstarmom. Do whatever it takes. </p>
<p>I think working is a good think, even at your age. My HS daughter does not "need" to work, but she does. We encouraged her to get a job. I am less resentful of being the money tree, and she has money in the bank that she can use without having to ask me. It is a win win. And she is learning other valuable lessons.</p>
<p>"I am in my first year of college at a completely mediocre school- perhaps as undriven as in highschool, but this time I have the good grades to boot."</p>
<p>Sounds to me like you're getting good grades because you're a very smart student at a mediocre college. So, since college apparently has been so easy for you that you haven't had to work hard on homework, have you been spending your excess time working a job to save money so you could afford a transfer?</p>
<p>If not, then I'm with your mother. Why should she take out a loan to support your dreams if you've been basically slacking since mid 7th grade?</p>
<p>And before you decided to transfer, did you talk to your mother about your transfer plans, and ask if she'd be willing to financially help you or did you simply decide to transfer and assume that your mother would be willing to financially help?</p>
<p>if i have this right, you're not asking your mother to pay the tuition, just the depost (a few hundred $$, i assume?). i would suggest trying to talk to her rationally about the advantages of college, how potentially you will be able to earn more money in the future, and how you are pursuing what you really want to be doing (assuming you are). </p>
<p>She may be frightened and concerned that you moving away will mean that you no longer have a strong connection. Reassure her that you love her, and talk about how you will maintain contact with her even when you are at school...</p>