<p>OP needs to drop the attitude and be grateful to his mother for wanting to go along. My nephew attended the Harvard summer program a couple of years ago, and his roommate didn’t have his Mom there because she was undergoing chemotherapy and was too sick to travel. Cherish your Mother, because without her parenting skills you probably wouldn’t be going to the Harvard program at all.</p>
<p>OP–having now read the information at the Harvard Secondary School Program website, I can see that your desire to be treated as capable of getting to the program and moved in matches the stated purpose of the program.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>[For</a> Parents or Guardians | Harvard Summer School](<a href=“http://www.summer.harvard.edu/programs/ssp/parents/]For”>http://www.summer.harvard.edu/programs/ssp/parents/)</p>
<p>In my opinion you do not seem to have an attitude and I hope you recognize emotional blackmail when you see it. The accusation that this summer program is your way of getting away from her says volumes. And, it may be a self-fulfilling prophecy.</p>
<p>I noticed that the website information indicated that the program would not honor roommate requests. Your mother may be if for a big surprise if she thinks she can change anything when she gets there. I hope if she goes that she does not cause a scene for you.</p>
<p>GeekMom63-You misunderstood me. Of course there is nothing odd about wanting academic challenge during summer. It appears to me that OP is self-driven and it is great that he wants that experience for himself.</p>
<p>@sunnydayfun - sorry - thanks for the clarification. :)</p>
<p>OP, I hope you can appreciate that you and your mom are both going through very natural phases of separation. While some of the things your mom says are extreme, they do reflect her concerns at having one of her chicks so far from the nest. She sees you on a spectrum from newborn to teen; you feel the immediacy of your status as a young man, and want only to be treated as such. Naturally, there’s a conflict.</p>
<p>You’ll survive the dropoff, and so will she. The benefit to you is that this weaning experience will make your future separations so much easier! I was always impressed at the changes in maturity my kids showed after being away in the summer. It was a huge help in making the transition to fully trusting them as adults. Be respectful, and ask your mom questions that will make her feel valued. Also, get some travel advice about Boston and Cambridge ([Reviews</a> of Hotels, Flights and Vacation Rentals - TripAdvisor](<a href=“http://www.tripadvisor.com%5DReviews”>http://www.tripadvisor.com) is a good site) so that you know all about the public transportation system and things for your mom to do when you are busy. This is your chance to impress her with your detailed knowledge, and find ways to keep her occupied and interested. Be calm in your dealings with her; she is having irrational fears, as you can see. It may be something she finds very hard to control, so try to overlook her shortcomings and focus on the positives in your relationship. I’m sure she does this for you without you realizing it!</p>
<p>OP-- I read the Harvard regulations and other stuff related to the high school aspect of the program. You are required to fully participate in the academic classes that you have chosen. Skipping a class period or being unprepared for class over time can result in being barred from further participation. </p>
<p>Don’t take your eye off why you are there to try to placate the situation. Your mother may be freaked, but if she messes this up for you, you are going to be the one who loses and will always remember this. Better her to be mad at you than you be mad at yourself for not doing what you need to do to get the most out of the program.</p>
<p>Unless I am really mistaken, anything less than you spending your time after class with her is not going to set well with her. Disappointing her isn’t something you can avoid if you are going to use the first few days (and nights) to get to know the other participants by sharing meal times, make friends and prepare for class. </p>
<p>You might want to mention these facts to your father, now. You and he might want to inform your mother that you will not have time for her after check-in.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>07DAD - +1 to all your posts.</p>
<p>OP says, in post #5, she is leaving after a couple of days.</p>
<p>crester–the fact that the mother is going to leave after a few days is what led me to read the Harvard site information. If the mother is only going to be there a few days at the very beginning (hopefully this isn’t going to change to a longer time), it may be that she is going to be very, very adamant that the son do as she dictates while she is there.</p>
<p>If OP is extremely luck on this narrow issue, the mother’s stay might coincide with only the “move-in” days. If there is bleed over of the stay into the first day or days of classes that is really infortunate.</p>
<p>I suggest a reading of the Harvard website to see that there is next to no indication that Harvard expects (or wants) anyone other than the applicant/student to be the one who gets everything done timely. Surprise, Harvard is willing to treat the accepted applicants as capable of handling these matters.</p>
<p>Yup 07DAD we are on the same wavelength…I just didn’t want to type it out in case it would really happen, LOL. </p>
<p>Someone else upthread mentioned that the HSS staff are generally prepared and proactive about lingering parents…we can hope.</p>
<p>@OP -</p>
<p>I may be mistaken, but I think these 5 pages of responses to the question posed on June 12, 2011 are the same reactions and advice you received when you posed the problem initially on May 21st…</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/summer-programs/1150761-flying-alone-really-such-big-deal.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/summer-programs/1150761-flying-alone-really-such-big-deal.html</a></p>
<p>Looks like Mom hasn’t improved in the past month…</p>
<p>It actually looks like she got worse. By my reading, OP took a suggestion made in the other thread to use a driving service to assuage the mother’s concerns. Seems she came up with more fears when the son had suggested something that worked.</p>
<p>I think that your mother probably has a problem with anxiety. This is getting in the way of her thinking rationally about the likelihood of any of these problems arising. I think you need to think of her reactions in a similar way as you would think of someone who has a fear of flying. You shouldn’t take her anxiety personally; you sound like an incredibly independent young man who is more than capable of looking after himself. Imagine yourself as a 30 year old man with your mother still worrying about you, you would be more concerned about her wasting so much time feeling anxious than you would about how it reflects on you.</p>
<p>Obviously it’s annoying that your mother’s anxiety issues impinge on your experience at the summer program but I would think of this as way to help your mother begin to overcome her anxiety. Try to ease her into the inevitable transition of you becoming an adult, she won’t be able to do this in giant leaps. Also remember that it is probably very unpleasant for you mother to feel as anxious as she does, and she is not doing it deliberately. It is almost as if the roles reversed you are more of an adult in this situation trying to help your mother overcome a problem.</p>