This scenario is over a year away, and there’s much discussing and planning needed between my boyfriend and our families and I before we seriously move ahead with this idea. However, I was wondering what the general opinion is.
Currently my serious boyfriend of 9 months and I are going to be sophomores this upcoming year, and were considering moving in together in an apartment in our college town next summer for the year since on-campus housing is so expensive ($8,500 - $10,000 per year, plus meal plans and/or groceries for apartment style).
This would cut down on housing costs as well as give us time to see how compatible we are for the future; I would hate to graduate only to move in with someone who I thought I worked perfectly with and end up crashing and burning with nowhere to live.
Both of us would need jobs. I already have a small job on-campus and could get an additional part-time job as well. I don’t own a car (although my boyfriend does) but there are many town homes and apartments within walking distance to school. In addition, my dad works relatively close to my school so worse comes to worst and I end up without any housing, I could commute from home with my dad dropping me off and picking me up (which he has actually suggested as an option if I wanted to be a commuter student).
In so far as missing out on the “college experience”, I’ve never been one for partying and am relatively introverted, so I don’t mind if living off campus comes with a price of less socializing. In terms of academics, I would be close enough to the school that I could stay on campus at the library in order to study, which I do on campus anyway.
This is really just an idea at the moment and there’s very much to plan and think about moving forward (how will we split expenses, what if we break up, etc). I would very much appreciate any thoughts and considerations moving ahead. Thank you!
Personally I’m not a fan of living with boyfriends/girlfriends in college. It seems every couple thinks they’re going to defy the odds and last forever, and if they do break up it’ll be amicable and easy, but it doesn’t always happen. Honestly, 9 months in college is not an over-the-top impressive length of time. The end of junior year is two full years away. Could you not live off campus but with roommates?
I personally have no issue with college students in established long-term relationships living together off campus. I did it myself 35 years ago.
However, I do think you are projecting forward to much considering a scenario that is a year out. A lot can change in a relationship in a year. Put your plans and their related thoughts on the back burner for awhile. No point in planning that far ahead right now.
I officially moved in with my college boyfriend our junior year (we’re married now so it went well). I see absolutely no problem with it. You seem to have a lot planned out so I say go for it.
Ii would shy away from it until senior year and beyond. As a rule of thumb, wait at least one year until moving in with someone. Since you’re in college, this needs to be your number one priority and not your home life with your bf/gf. If you’re serious about your relationship then try living together after the summer of junior year.
I married my college boyfriend (and are still married, 29 years later) but never lived with him in college.
College is a time to explore…and by moving in with him you end up limiting what you do…lets say you like hiking but he doesn’t…you tend to find things that he likes instead…if you dont’ live with him then it is easier for you to do stuff on your own. Also if you one of you is more into academics than the other it is harder to say “no, i have to study”…or if you are both into academics and you get “you make dinner, I have a test”.
Living together is fine, but 9 months in college is a bit soon IMO. I don’t think it would be a mistake either way, but waiting another year would probably be better. Especially given that a scenario where you sign the lease and then break-up would cause a lot of problems. For the right person or chance, the risk is worth it, but there’s no need to take it at this point - one year more makes a big difference here.
I’m in college and currently unofficially living with my SO - we have been now for over a year - there’s a lot to consider. For example, both of us being introverts, communicating when we need alone time is very important. If you’re dating an extrovert, they need to be aware and able to accommodate. There’s just a lot of things that go into living together, and a year more of time in a relationship only helps that.