<p>I agree that trusts tend not to “automatically” do anything unless and until someone does something to end it. It is a legal creation and requires action to end it and hand it out to beneficiaries.</p>
<p>“However, I have devised a clever ruse in the meantime: say I am taking classes through North Dakota instead of Idaho and request money accordingly; there is no way to know otherwise as the money goes through me.”</p>
<p>This will only work until someone actually asks you for evidence of which institution you are studying at - which may happen much sooner than you think. </p>
<p>When you stop trying to game the system, you are going to be much happier.</p>
<p>It is hard to tell who is being more ridiculous and morally reprehensible in this situation, the OP or his mother.</p>
<p>I am not sympathetic to the mother using her power as trustee to keep her child living nearby. As a matter of trust law, that’s a conflict of interest and breach of trust, and hypothetically could subject her to personal liability. Of course, the cost of litigating that would exceed the value of the claim by several orders of magnitude, so the litigation will never happen. But that doesn’t make what she is doing right.</p>
<p>The kid is just bizarre. Worried about “inflated college-area rents”? Wants to travel the world but isn’t willing to deal with other people, starting with his mother, face-to-face if it can be avoided? Needs to go to Idaho because somehow Virginia Tech or any school in North Carolina can’t teach him to be an electrical engineer? And his great plan is to commit fraud? On his mother? </p>
<p>Come on! Get real. The life plan is zillions of times more important here than where the OP spends 9-18 months in the medium future. And what’s 9-18 months’ difference in the cheapest rent you can get near a university in VA or NC vs. 9 months of current rent and 9 months of Moscow ID rent? As much as $3,000? Probably not. Would the trust cover it? Probably. What a stupid fight to pick, especially when there are serious long-term issues to face!</p>
<p>Van,
I just looked at a lot of your posts here on CC. You seem to have a lot of hostility towards almost everyone…your family, professors, other students, people in general.</p>
<p>Just a hint…remember the adage about using honey instead of vinegar? Do you think that maybe, just maybe, your mother is being “difficult” because of how you treat her? If you are as condescending to her in person as you appear to be on-line, this could be exacerbating your situation…she might just be pushing back…and remember, that at least for now, she owns the keys to your kingdom.</p>
<p>HM1 - I have yet to be asked to provide receipts, and they can be falsified. That said, this system is not in my interest, I will be happy upon capitulation at my feet.
JHS:
Yes, I am worried about rents. If you had read my posts, it would have been apparent that the online issue stems from wanting to save money on housing. I pay very reasonable rent in a safe neighbourhood in the middle of nowhere. I refer you to the earlier comment about paying an arm and a leg to some slumlord. I am not willing to take a hit on my quality of life by moving, and you have no idea what decent housing rents these days near campuses. Thus, as Virginia Tech, which my father advised against, and the schools in NC do not offer online programmes, they are unsuitable. </p>
<p>I am so concerned about this because the trust can pay tuition, but nothing else. If my rent goes up three-fold because of being near a campus, guess who has to eat the rent hike? Who would have to pay the onerous interest upon the loans I would have to take out?! The trust is prohibited from paying out anything except tuition!</p>
<p>My plan is fraudulent in nature, but better than anything you guys have come up with. </p>
<p>Boysx3 - If you were to meet me offline, I would bet my portfolio that I would be beyond recognition. Humans are facile creatures, and cannot see beyond a fa</p>
<p>I’m trying to find a reason that his mother might want to cooperate with him but I can’t find one.</p>
<p>For his own sake, I hope the OP is not as caustic as he tries to portray himself, or he is going to have an awfully rough time in the adult world–he probably won’t be anybody’s favorite employee, and even self-employed people have to be able to get along with others–even brilliant engineers, should the OP turn out to be one.</p>
<p>boysx3 - if you must know, I have been self-employed since 18. I would not be self-employed at 23 if I acted as caustic as you portray me to be. She simply does not want to cooperate because her coping mechanism for empty nest syndrome has been to extend the ersatz nest to the state borders. Even while I was taking classes at the two-bit college here, I was under pressure to move back to NC.</p>
<p>She has been vociferous, but she has not spoken yet of with-holding funds. </p>
<p>[Honne</a> and tatemae - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honne_and_tatemae]Honne”>Honne and tatemae - Wikipedia) - in this thread, and on the internet under the protection of an alias, I reveal honne. Offline, in the presence of others, I exhibit tatemae i.e. a fa</p>
<p>I second MidwestMom’s idea. Take that road trip out West with your mom. I just got back from a 4 day drive with D from Southern Illinois to Southern California to start her sophomore year. (She kept the car and I flew back.) I will treasure that trip and all the time we spent on the road together.</p>
<p>The poster who initiated this thread will not be available to reply for 3 days.</p>
<p>I deeply regret trying to be of assistance to someone like this. OP prides himself on being so much above all the fools that fall for his real life facade; yet way too immature to realize that he is likely far more transparent that he will ever realize. It always comes back to bite you in the ass. Jerk or psychopath, it doesn’t really matter, though I’m hoping for a ■■■■■ (otherwise I feel very sorry for his family).</p>
<p>Starbright,
I was thinking the exact same thing. He’s a person who really needs help–but not the kind on CC!</p>
<p>Van:</p>
<p>If you’re a ■■■■■, (and I hope you are) all I can say is…well played sir. Very well played. “Idaho potato mongers”…brilliant!</p>
<p>If not a ■■■■■, I genuinely hope you conquer whatever demons life has placed placed between you and your path to adulthood and financial independence.</p>
<p>In either event, I have benefited from this exchange and plan to take immediate action. First, I am absolutely going to review the structure of my will and trust with respect to the potential impacts on my descendants. Second, I firmly resolve to try to die penniless.</p>
<p>The destructive nature of your Grand Dad’s distribution of wealth, fictional or not, is sobering.</p>
<p>There are many worthwhile non-profits which would be happy to help use your money to further causes that resonate with just about anything a careful donor could wish. I am very sad to read this thread and have a tough time imagining what must be going through this family that endures the hostility OP radiates (tho he claims to shield & hide it well).</p>
<p>Please pardon the belated bump, but I have an update:</p>
<p>My mother somehow got the idea that I was being considered for an internship in Alaska to raise the necessary funds for the education. She is afraid of polar bears for some reason; I discovered this by accident. I also found out that outsourcing web design for non-existent wildlife foundations that offer non-existent internships for which I was (or was not) chosen is very cost-effective (>$100). What serendipity! :D</p>
<p>She surrendered the corpus of the trust to me, so all of this went better than expected.</p>
<p>Also, to clarify HImom, I do not hide my hostility on the internet; I hide it offline. Thus, I made no such claim as you describe.</p>
<p>So, Van, we’re all dying to find out what you are going to do with the corpus of your trust? And where?</p>
<p>I’m staying put until senior year; no reason to move just yet. The corpus will pay the tuition as it was originally intended, and the remainder will be merged with the expatriation monies upon graduation as I do not intend to pursue graduate study in this country just yet.</p>
<p>Just to see what would happen, I told my father about this and showed him a copy of the cheque, and he laughed his bum off. He has as much incentive to keep my secret as I since he has to live with her. :D</p>
<p>Just curious, why do you want to pursue the degree online as much as possible? And if you want to be online, why go to Idaho?</p>
<p>That being said, I just stayed in Moscow, ID last weekend. It and Pullman, WA are side by side college towns, cute, etc. Some of the students we spoke with said Moscow has cheaper and more run down old housing, not sure where you are or what you are paying, but this option should be less than schools in big cities like Seattle, Bay Area, SoCal.</p>
<p>Somemom - as stated earlier, senior design is not offered online, thus the classes must be taken in person in Idaho.</p>
<p>I should hope that Moscow costs less than Cali, but I am worried about the quality of the housing. There is a ‘race to the bottom’ in this market, and students are viewed as easy targets for substandard goods due to lack of experience. The last thing I need to deal with if finishing a degree is living in a slum; that is why I am so averse to living near colleges to begin with.</p>