<p>So, well, I met this awesome best friend in college.
Problem is, she's kind of an idiot. And she always wants to do problem sets with me. So when we study together, I end up spending more time teaching her how to do dot products than actually learning material.
But outside of problem sets, she's a really cool person. It's just that, well, I should be working with smart people, and not people who get 60's on every test. I'm getting A's right now, but that's just because I've had a good background from high school. My grades will probably end up dropping significantly if I keep working with her. (She's the type of person who sits next to you and asks you questions every ten seconds on really obvious material because she has no clue what she's doing.)</p>
<p>So how can I...not work with her, without losing our friendship? Or rather -- how can I find better people to work with?</p>
<p>Just invite more people to the study group so you can alternate helping her or something. You also learn by teaching, which is surprising since you think you're giving more than you're getting, but in truth you're picking up and/or reinforcing your grasp of the material at the same time.</p>
<p>Friendship is important and helping each other among friends is a good thing to do. You may want to try to get into Ph 11 so that you could find better people to work with as well. My recommendation is to add not to subtract.</p>
<p>You could actually try being honest with her, and tell her that when you study together you find it too distracting. Suggest either (1) that you set up a particular time that you could help her or (2) help her find somebody who does tutoring to help her.</p>
<p>Do not be honest with her! She will never be friends with you again after that. Enjoy it while you can, and just try avoiding her subtlely. If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit! Be wary of her taking advantage of you.</p>
<p>Wow you're getting all these different responses!</p>
<p>Let me say that I feel for your friend. I'm like that--I'm not great at math, so if I don't ask questions then I feel pretty helpless. Your friend isn't trying to leech off of you, but perhaps they are a little oblivious about the fact that you also have work to do.</p>
<p>I would tell your friend how you feel, but be nice about it. If she's your good friend, then she should understand. Perhaps you two could work out an arrangement: maybe you could dedicate some time to tutor her a little on weekends, while she treats you to pizza. Meanwhile, you could let her know that she should try to work problems out on her own as much as possible before she asks you any question.</p>
<p>fizix, I'm better qualified than anyone to answer this question, considering I go to the same college as yourself. </p>
<p>I've also had a number of my friends here ask me how to deal with the exact same problem. It's not an easy dilemma to solve. I would suggest telling your friend to attend office hours and tell her what to read.</p>
<p>However, don't do your problem sets with her in that situation.</p>
<p>Just be honest, say that you have other stuff to do (who in college doesn't?) and do what the poster above suggested.</p>
<p>I agree that just out of being a good person, you should help people whenever possible. But when it comes to a point when someone is using you, you should draw the line.</p>
<p>Umm...just don't tell her when you're doing problem sets. Go to the library and sit in a private space and work on the sets. if she asks you later if you want to work on the set, tell her it's already done. If she wants help, tell her you can't because you are busy with something or meeting with someone for class she doesn't have, etc., etc. Tell her to go to office hours to get help. DO NOT tell her the truth. It'll only hurt her.</p>
<p>I think you've been given some good advice above. I'd probably go for a mixture of avoidance, honesty, help, and re-directing. And through it all, I'd keep "don't cause hurt" as my #1 priority. Juuust a tip for the girl who calls her "best friend," presumably a CalTech student, an *idiot<a href="even%20in%20jest">/i</a>.</p>
<p>CollectivSynergy's posts are always insightful. We are all selfish to a certain degree by nature. Thus we're more aware of what we're giving than what we're getting. I often imagine myself teaching a group of "imaginary students" while I'm trying to understand sth. </p>
<p>An idiot is a friend-for-life. My best friend is also an "academic idiot".</p>