<p>My dad keeps telling me how he just applied to one school, got in and he went. The university he went to is in the top 10. His SAT scores were very similar to mine. He went to a private school. He was an only child and his parents paid 100% so he did not have to worry about financing. He even admits to me that no one ever got below an A at his school, so his grades were never any sort of issue. And they did not class rank.</p>
<p>He tells me I need to apply to Princeton, Yale, and Williams. That is it. He does not even want me to look at the other schools on my list, which include OU, Texas A&M, Trinity University (he forbids this one), Austin College, Rhodes College, Oberlin, etc. He is okay with me applying to Rice. </p>
<p>He and my mom got in to a big fight about it yesterday, and it seems they are still fighting today. I am supposed to be going to "National Scholars Day" at Texas A&M and my dad does not want me to go. He keeps telling me that he applied to one school, got in, and went. That simple. And I need to do the same. I have forwarded him articles and pointed him to this site and everything else. </p>
<p>Now I heard him tell my mom that she has to be home by noon on the day she drops me off at A&M. Because of how far the drive is, this means she will drop me off at 8am and not stay until check in time or anything else. </p>
<p>How can I get him to understand that things have changed? And I need to be able to get a good financial aid package and/or scholarships? Does anyone have good news articles, perhaps on mainstream media, that I could forward to him about how things have changed? Forbes is good too. Anything that he would find recognizable and reputable. Thank you.</p>
<p>Send him over to CC and we’ll give him a good talking to. I feel for you (and him)–I applied to one school back in the day and got in so I know where he’s coming from. It’s frustrating to even think how difficult and competitive admissions have become these days. It was cheaper back then too. Now it’s sticker price shock. Have you done any price calculations on the schools HE wants you to apply to? Hit the “calculator” on CC. Maybe he’ll change his tune and be more supportive. And add in the actual acceptance rates at those schools.<br>
Glad your mom is backing you up as well as she can. Hopefully your dad will see the light. Maybe she can back you up a bit more with “car trouble” that ends when you’re done at A&M. Or the simple fact that it was well worth the time more than “being home”. Good Luck!</p>
<p>Is there any student/family that he is familiar with or has respect for that has gone before you and could offer some first hand insight? Maybe a dinner invite for those folks.</p>
<p>Unfortunately some people are just headstrong. Can your mom help?</p>
<p>Sorry about the fighting, OP. Hoping it works out for you. </p>
<p>A&M is a great school. have fun on National Scholars Day.</p>
<p>Rice is also fantastic. If he’s amenable to that, maybe that’s a good thing.</p>
<p>Sounds like he’s already flexed a little Princeton, Yale, Williams and Rice - not just one.</p>
<p>Is Texas A&M a safety for you? Are you an auto-admit?</p>
<p>Maybe you can talk to him about leaving his list intact and adding ONE safety? That might be a compromise.</p>
<p>Another thought is to try to get him alone for a heart-felt conversation. Maybe HE could take you to National Scholars Day instead of your mom. If he sees it’s important to you, maybe he’ll soften.</p>
<p>The New York Times had a column called “The Choice”. I just googled it and it said it’s been discontinued (not sure why – it was interesting and worthwhile). You might be able to find old articles on it. They talked a lot about what it’s really like now in admissions.</p>
<p>It sounds like you have a good solid list put together. I wish I could say you don’t need his permission to apply, but you probably need his credit card for the app fees, right? I just think if you only apply to one school, you might be disappointed then it would be too late to apply anywhere else.</p>
<p>Would you be willing to go to one of “his” schools if you got in? If so, then try this: </p>
<p>Tell him that he can choose the school where you enroll. But, you choose where you apply. Assure him that you will apply to all the schools he likes. But, tell him that you also have schools that you like. The final decision about where to enroll will be his.</p>
<p>At my D’s high school every family was supposed to meet with the guidance counselor once to discuss college. While I didn’t find the GC to be particularly helpful or knowledgeable, he certainly could and would have disabused any parent of the notion that his child could apply only to Princeton, Yale and Williams and expect to be accepted at one of them. Could your GC talk to your father?</p>
Here’s my suggestion: tell him that you’ll apply to only those four schools, as long as he agrees that if you don’t get into any of them you can live at home for free for the next year if you don’t get into any of them, at which point you can apply to a new list. That will let him think about how confident he really is.</p>
<p>This is not really a serious suggestion–I agree with the others that you need to get some other trusted adults involved.</p>
<p>The conversation that I would have would go like this:
</p>
<p>Press him on this. Ask him what happens if he’s wrong. The harsh reality is that if you apply to only those three schools and don’t get in, your choices aren’t between Harvard and A&M; your only choice is community college.</p>
<p>On the financial aid side, have you asked him to run the FA calculators on the websites of the four currently “approved” schools? Ask him to please do that, and confirm that he is able to cover the full cost of any one of those schools for four years (just in case you only get into one of them). This might open his eyes a bit to the cost of college (he might be one of those parents who does have enough to pay, which is okay, but if he isn’t…).</p>
<p>Also agree that a guidance counselor can help. And… you can always pay your own application fees to apply to a few more safety/match schools. I doubt he will say you can’t go to college if those end up being your choices.</p>
<p>You also might try something like this: “Dad, I am really thrilled that you have confidence that I will get into these top colleges, and I hope you are right. I will really try to knock those applications out of the park so I get in. But I want to have a backup plan just in case that doesn’t work out, so want to apply to a few more schools.” That gives him credit for thinking highly of you, tells him you will try hard on the applications, but also makes you look mature (I think) for wanting a backup plan just in case. Might not work, but you can try it.</p>
<p>Here is another thought - tell him that if he really wants you to get into those top colleges, maybe he should pay for a private college counselor to help out. Even ONE family session with that counselor might help him see the light, even if you don’t engage them fully to help in your search.</p>
<p>I had a VERY similar experience at your stage. Father went to Williams, his father to Harvard and brother to Princeton/Harvard and since my stats were high (in the 80’s), I was not allowed to consider any of the same Texas schools you mention - I wanted A&M at the time.</p>
<p>I do what he wants and ended up blowing out first semester freshman year. Dropped out, he washed his hands of me. Worked for two years and decided to beg to have him pay for me to go back to college. By that time, he was just GLAD I was going back and allowed me to attend A&M.</p>
<p>Unhappy students often do MUCH less than live up to their potential!!!</p>
<p>He’ll also have to fill out the CSS Profile for each, so his eventual buy-in is important. And, what’s critical today is not just your chances of an admit. It’s getting the aid to make attending feasible.</p>
<p>“Dad, I’d be thrilled to go to Princeton, Yale, or Williams. But the admit decision is theirs to make, not mine. Or yours. And, we need the best financial support we can get.”</p>
<p>You could also show your dad some of the “chance me” and "rejected’ threads for the ivies and Williams to show him how different admissions are today. Of course it may not help if he has it very firmly in his mind that you’ll be admitted since he was, but seeing some of the concrete stats and achievements might be a reality check for him.</p>
<p>And I agree that Naviance could be another reality check.</p>
<p>You are getting some really good advice here! I suggest you sit back and think about your dad…what you know works, and what you know doesn’t work so well, and figure out how to PRESENT some of this stuff in a way that it’s likely to be received.</p>
<p>If all else fails, ask your Dad for permission to apply to one of the schools on your/his list – Yale, Williams, Princeton, or Rice – either ED or SCEA (depending on what the school offers). Pick the one you like the best because you might end up going there.</p>
<p>If you get admitted (and your family can afford it), your problem is solved.</p>
<p>If you don’t get in, make sure you have some applications to a bunch of other schools filled out and ready to send as soon as you get your rejection or deferral. And of course, that list should include several schools that are less selective than the four mentioned above.</p>
<p>Marian, if he’s applying to some particular schools, that application might be too late to be accepted.</p>
<p>I would actually suggest convincing Dad to let him fill out the Texas Common Ap, and go ahead and send it in to public schools that might be on OP’s list.</p>
<p>OP, do you know what your intended major is? Or did I miss it?</p>