<p>I'll chime in here as another parent who's D is having a little bit of tough time adjusting. There have been tears, although we have not heard anything about wanting to come home or hating it there. Really has been more about how it is just harder than she expected. There was some discussion on prior posts about whether cell phones, e-mail, texting, etc. were a good thing. In our D's case, we don't think the connnection to us is the problem, but the connection to friends here at home is a definite issue. Pretty sure she is hearing from old friends too much and they are telling her about all the things she is missing and how much they miss her. Hard to tell her though not to communicate with them. We did reach out to dorm parents to let them know she was having a little trouble and happily can say they, and her prefect, have been very helpful. Hopefully by Saturday after a full week of classes and her first couple soccer games she will be feeling more comfortable.</p>
<p>Yes, that dreaded texting from the old friends at home can serve as a 24x7 (these kids never stop with the thumbs) of what they are missing. </p>
<p>I guess I was fortunate that we didn't start our D's texting plan until she was already at school a few weeks - more for DW and her to communicate from my DW's perspective, but the reality on the ground at school was that everyone else was texting each other on campus (thank goodness they are pretty much all in the same network!), so it became a keep up with the Joneses thing for D.</p>
<p>I've found though that after the first rush of news is over, things will quiet down and the messages from home friends will not be as much of an issue. Live moves on quickly for girls of this age. D still texts old friends, but more on an occasional basis. More likely to IM on weekends when things are slow. Texting seems to be for more immediate things from what I can pick up. Of course, I don't text. I'm old school -- CC and email for me. LOL</p>
<p>My ID: Pre-prep BS '73, BS '76, P of S '10.
This will all be history. By Thanksgiving it will no longer be an issue. By the end of Christmas break, she'll be eager to get back. Before Spring it will be considered a second home. Next year she'll be asking you to drop her off and depart soonest! I'm not trying to make light of your situation, she will prevail. I believe some really good information / guidance has been given here. Always easier said than done when its not your child but "time" will be the healer in this situation.</p>
<p>Just wanted to check in to say that I had a lovely conversation this afternoon with my daughter's advisor. The advisor had met with my daughter earlier in the day--they talked for over an hour. They appeared to have a great conversation--my daughter told her what was going on--including the Friday night movie fiasco. My D told her about the "mean" girl (I guess she rebuffed my D again at lunch today) and told my D that she thought the girl was acting like a jerk. (Maybe not the most PC statement for a teacher to make, but I am sure that it made my daughter feel great to hear that someone - other than her mom - thought this girl's behavior was cruel.) (oh by the way, did I mention that her dorm is named after this girl's family?)</p>
<p>The advisor said that the girls my D is hanging out with now seem to be really nice. So, I think things will be better now. I haven't received any more calls or texts from her saying how awful things are. In fact, she hasn't contacted me at all:). She texted her sisters today--saying she missed them and she was doing ok. Do you ever notice that the friends/siblings hear the good news. The complaints and tears are left for the parents! :)</p>
<p>Will keep you posted if anything develops. </p>
<p>Regarding text msg plans--we just signed up for Verizon's unlimited texting (to anyone--any network) for $30 / month. We're already on the family plan (4 phones) and all the kids text. So, I reduced the number of monthly minutes, added the $30 texting plan, and am still saving $20 a month on my bill.</p>
<p>jenny - I so glad to hear that things are going better and that your daughter has found kids she can connect with! :)</p>
<p>Yay for Jenny's D and hugs for Jenny! </p>
<p>I have to confess I log in twice a day for the update and it makes my day to hear she's doing so much better and is making friends. You'll be lucky to get any calls this weekend!</p>
<p>We have a similar text plan. $10 for unlimited. We also have Verizon and unlimited calls within the network (all Verizon plans are like this I think).</p>
<p>Jenny,</p>
<p>Great to hear that things are improving (at least through second-hand sources LOL). Yes, we parents tend to hear the problems (I get the computer related ones). </p>
<p>Having an advisor develop a strong relationship with your daughter is priceless at BS. I'm glad yours is working on it.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear the legacy-with-name-on-building didn't pick up the gentility that generally comes with money. FWIW, there is a girl whose family's name is on a dorm where my D goes to school (and her father is on the board of trustees). She is on my D's field hockey team and is generally considered one of the nicer kids there according to my D. Parents (I've met both) seem very generous with their time devoted to the school and supportive of all the kids. I guess you got the legacy admit that might not have passed the interivew otherwise.</p>
<p>About the text plan - I'm not sure how cell reception is at your D's school, but pretty much everyone at my D's school is Verizon, so we just kept smaller plan with free in-network texting. It was a small problem this summer when she was texting local friends (she paid THOSE charges), but at school, she rarely has an out-of-network text message. So you might want to watch the bill the first couple of months to see if you really need all those text messages.</p>
<p>Oh Jenny, I am so glad to hear about the improvements in your daughter's experience!!! What a relief, huh? Like Baseballmom, I too have been logging in frequently, searching for that post from you in which you describe the turn-around. Seeing it there this morning made me smile.</p>
<p>I just wanted to let you all know that I think my daughter is having a GOOD TIME at school. She hasn't said that this is the "best place" or she is "having so much fun", but I can tell that she seems a lot happier and appears to have a group of girls she hangs out with. (I saw on her facebook that she added 25 new kids from her school, so she is certainly talking with people.) She is even hanging out with the girl who was so cruel to her last week, although I don't think she will ever completely trust her. Tonight she texted me that she saw her first shooting star. She was so excited. I think this is only one of many "firsts" at boarding school.</p>
<p>Again, to all of you who responded to my original post---I am so appreciative for all of your support and wisdom. You helped me so much. It was really hard to hear my D cry--and my other 3 children were telling me to bring her home. I am glad that things worked out as many of you predicted. :D</p>
<p>Very happy to hear it!</p>
<p>More important is to thank the folks (advisor/house parent) at your daughter's school who took the time to make sure your daughter overcame her obstacles transitioning into the school. They will probably continue to be a great resource for a long time to come.</p>
<p>Thank you for making us feel better, too!</p>
<p>jenny-so much for my 21-day prediction! Glad to hear she's settling in and is developing new friendships. Any day now she'll start complaining about the food and you'll be on the home stretch.</p>
<p>bumped for jumpstartzoe...</p>
<p>Thanks, creative1 for the bump. We'll be dropping S off to begin his life at BS Sunday, so I may be in need of reading MY OWN advice in short order! I hope and pray I don't need it!</p>
<p>Yeah, I hope you don't start thinking he should have somewhere else ;o)</p>
<p>Jennycraig,
Wondering how your d is a year later?</p>
<p>HEADLINE: Crimson Knights begin to tremble as they spy a new WINGED BEAVER on the attack! (ok, the winged beaver is not exactly an imposing figure....then again, if he's wearing skates and carrying a big stick.....)</p>
<p>I actually kind of like the Winded Beaver mascot -- original and tribute to that nut-case Theodora Riddle.</p>
<p>On the other hand I refer you to last year's undefeated Crimson squad which featured two MLB draft picks including a #1.</p>
<p>Jenny, if you are out there, ditto on hope your D is now great. This thread really detailed a difficult adjustment, and provides much insight to/from parents.</p>
<p>Havent been on in awhile...summer has flown by. My daughter is very happy at her boarding school and couldnt wait to return. She has many friends and is involved at the school: peer counselor and tour guide. She was honored with the Coachs award on her swim team and the Dorm award for being the student that best exemplified the qualities of leadership, integrity, and friendliness. </p>
<p>How do I know that sending her to boarding school was worth it? My daughter spent 5 weeks in Denali Park, Alaska with the Student Conservation Association this summer. She went there not knowing a soulnever camped in her in lifeand had to live in a tent with 5 other kids: no toilet or shower for 35 days. Worked 6 days a week building a trail and had the time of her life. She NEVER would have taken advantage of this opportunity had she not attended boarding school.</p>
<p>FYI, her sister just started at boarding school (different state) and loves it. My youngest will be applying to boarding school later this year.</p>