<p>My ninth-grade daughter's first year in small well-regarded girls' boarding school. She returned to school Sunday. The school nurse/infirmary forgot/neglected to resume her daily medication Sunday evening through tonight. Four days! I just got the head of school to unlock the infirmary with a promise to administer Rx now.
Four days! Apparently the head Infirmary nurse is out sick or has been discharged, various staffers are filling in piecemeal. One of the temps noticed my daughter's medication had not been dispensed all week and called me to apologize.</p>
<p>Serious problems as a result of missing multiple doses. I can't believe this...now what? Doesn't the school have an obligation not to let this kind of thing happen?</p>
<p>Am a little confused - did your daughter go to the infirm to receive her medication and there was no one there to give it to her? Or did everyone (including your daughter), simply forget about the administration of the medication?</p>
<p>Everyone forgot. My daughter went to the infirmary on Tuesday and was shooed away by one of the fill-in staff. She is a new student and didn’t want to rock the boat.
Tuesday night she told me what had happened. I emailed the infirmary last night and again today to make sure this was rectified, also left voicemail both days. Apparently with the staffing problems no one checked email or voicemail.</p>
<p>Gosh, I personally don’t think it’s the infirmary’s responsibility to chase your daughter down and remind her every day. She’s at boarding school to learn to live with some degree of independence. It is her job to show up at the infirmary every day and stay there until she gets her medicine. If my child went for FOUR DAYS without taking her meds, I would have some words with her about the the consequences of failing to take them, and I would talk her through the process of going to the infirmary and making sure she gets them.</p>
<p>My child’s school’s infirmary sends a compliance report to the parents twice a month. I think they might give the students mild punishments (restrictions) if they consistently fail to take their meds. That’s plenty, as far as I’m concerned. </p>
<p>If you want someone to remind your child every day to take her meds, DO IT YOURSELF.</p>
<p>I have to agree that, unless the reason she is away at school is related to the meds and this is a therapeautic school, taking meds is her/ your responsibility.</p>
<p>If she is unable to fend for and assume responsibility for herself for somthing as important as you state I would be troubled with the idea of sending her away.</p>
<p>One more thing – there are many, many students who take medication. Some schools have whole lines of them showing up at the infirmary each morning. Did every other student at your daughter’s school get “left behind” this week, or did they somehow get their meds? If other girls managed to get their pills, and your daughter didn’t, you probably should work out a way to remind her. A text message from you every morning might work.</p>
<p>Guys. The OP clearly stated that the child DID go to the infirmary and was told to go away (shooed away). I realize that maybe she should have advocated for herself, but if an adult tells you to go away, it is hard for most kids to contradict them.</p>
<p>Maybe – though – it woudl have been a good idea for the child to have called home ASAP and told her parents what happened. So I guess the real solution is a hybrid of the two “camps” above?</p>
<p>I know that my child would absolutely have called me when that happened… that first day. But, the OP said this child is new… I hear what you are saying but cut her a small break…
:-)</p>
<p>I agree with london203 - sometimes there are situations you can’t prepare for (or prepare your kid for) because it doesn’t even cross your mind that it would be an issue.</p>
<p>I think there are multiple responses needed here - a serious talk with whoever oversees the infirmary, as well as a discuss with your daughter and development of strategies to make sure she’s on top of this and advocating for herself. </p>
<p>My son wears hearing aids so I’ve had lots of “opportunity” with the trial and error of making sure that he’s getting what he needs - it’s a constant discussion involving my son, his school, and me and my husband.</p>
<p>My opinion is that the responsibility lies mainly with the parents & the student. If, however, students are required to have the school infirmary staff administer the medication, then it becomes a bit more cloudy. Nevertheless, the daughter knew that she was missing her daily doses & failed to act by communicating with her parents or another adult.</p>
<p>Well, finally a few friendly responses on this nice forum. A few points:</p>
<ol>
<li>The medication has to be administered by Infirmary staff.</li>
<li>She forgot to go on one other occasion earlier in the term. I received an email that same day from Infirmary to let me know she missed a dose, so I was able to follow up w/ her immediately.</li>
<li>She called me Tuesday night, the day she was turned away. She is young, and a new student. Doesn’t like to argue. A little understanding would be nice.</li>
<li>I have since learned that the school/infirmary does have protocols to follow in the event of student’s missing meds, which is why I received the email in October. This time, however, the protocols weren’t followed.</li>
<li>I have since learned that another student missed an insulin injection on Tuesday morning because the Infirmary was locked. Her mother lives two hours away, could not reach infirmary staff, and drove to school to personally give her daughter the injection.</li>
</ol>
<p>My daughter and I have had a long exchange about how important it is for her to advocate for herself when situations like this arise.</p>
<p>Rather than parenting advice, I was hoping to get some valuable input from other boarding school parents regarding similar situations, what it is reasonable to expect from the school, and so forth.</p>
<p>Your daughter’s health should be more important than wondering whether proffered advice falls into a certain category. Yes, I read post #3, but fail to understand why she missed 4 days of required medication.</p>
<p>I tried to tell you in a previous post what my child’s boarding school’s policy is. Here is a snippet from the student handbook:</p>
<p>“Students are strongly encouraged to assume responsibility for taking medications at the appropriate time and for communicating with the Health Center staff about any concerns related to medications. The Health Center maintains a strong interest in managing a student’s medication compliance, effectiveness, tolerance, and any other concerns surrounding medications. The Health Center will track medication compliance and report this in a compliance report sent electronically every other week to the student, parent, advisor, and any other relevant school faculty.”</p>
<p>What are you looking for? An apology from your daughter’s school because her feelings were hurt? A promise from the school to track her intake every day and beg her to come in if she hasn’t taken her medication? That is going beyond their responsibility, in my opinion.</p>
<p>The most important thing is likely the question, who’s minding the infirmary at this point in time? </p>
<p>For those who are critical, for some medication, such as insulin, missing medication can effect how clearly someone thinks. It can also be life-threatening. It was not the student/patient’s fault the dose was not administered at the proper time.</p>
<p>As a parent, I would write an email to the head of school, outlining your concerns about the importance of medical personnel dispensing medications. This is an important issue. Depending on the state, other school personnel might not be able to dispense medication, if they aren’t licensed to do so. They might not have the key to the safe, if it’s something which must be kept under lock & key. You might (politely) say that in future, if the nurse is sick, you will assume no one is minding the health center, and will call him/her if your daughter does not receive her medication.</p>
<p>"Rather than parenting advice, I was hoping to get some valuable input from other boarding school parents regarding similar situations, what it is reasonable to expect from the school, and so forth.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m on the wrong forum. "</p>
<p>You did get advice, you just don’t seem to like it very much. Much of what was said is that it is not necessarily reasonable to expect the school to be responsible.</p>
<p>If your d’s need for medication is so important and she is, as you say, young, perhaps being away is not the right move for her, or this is not the right place. This is not parenting advice, just an impression based on the situation you have outlined.</p>
<p>You should send a letter to the head of the school, head of the division (if there is one), the medical office and ask to have a conference call about this. Some procedure should be in place if ever the infirmary is being staffed by substitutes which appears to have happened, and that procedure was not properly followed. </p>
<p>Unless this is a school specifically for children with executive function issues or other handicaps that make it so that this is something the school should be covering, the main responsibility has to lie with your daughter. When she was shooed away, she should have gone to a teacher, counselor, head of school’s office, a dean, some adult and tell them the problem. When she told you, you should have been on the phone for the same. </p>
<p>My son’s elementary school had a school nurse that tracked down any student who did not show up for meds, and was meticulous in tracking them, sending reports and making sure everything was exactly right. When she left, the replacement was not so diligent. One little guy did have problems regarding insulin. Though it was the nurse who did not follow up, it was also an important lesson to the parent that one can NEVER depend totally on others for this sort of things. Mistakes, oversights happen, and one has to be proactive about one’s own needs. </p>
<p>In your case, yes, the infirmary dropped the ball for whatever reason, and the school head should know this and the situation rectified for the future. But for you and your daughter, the most important thing is learning to advocate for yourselves.</p>