<p>My daughter is on Academic Suspension this semester because her GPA was below 1. She did not pass either of her 2 core classes and made "C"'s in the other 2 electives. She has ADHD and did not take her medicine regularly (rarely). She needs the medicine to focus and was receiving disability services (extended time on tests) as an accomodation. We gave her the medicine when she was at home; this was the 1st time that she was responsible for taking it. So she would forget. She could not keep the medicine out because her roommate was known to buy prescription drugs, so she hid it. She switched roommates so that problem was solved. I know that she has to take responsibility for taking her medicine and she knows it too.
I did not know that she was failing and she kept it hidden so as not to disappoint us. She is not a partyer; she actually stays in her room too much and doesn't socialize. We appealed the decision and had planned many strategies to help her this semester. Her Pediatrician and the Disability Services Director gave us suggestions as well. However, the school denied her appeal. I am so aggravated with my daughter, with the school, with myself. Suspended after only 1 semester at school, her 1st time on her own. I am frankly surprised that she was not given academic probation; our strategies would have worked. But maybe this is for the best. She doesn't want to go back and cried when we mentioned it before the appeal. She wants to be at a school close to home, which I tried to tell her to begin with. But now I don't know what to do. I don't think that she can attend Community College while she is on suspension. I don't want to pay housing fees and any other fees for her to go to the same college next year because she does not want to go there. But she can't transfer until she brings her GPA up. Does that mean that she has to go there next year? I really do blame some of this on the college and don't want her going there. I just don't know what to do. She wants to go to college. I want her to go to college. What do I do? What does she do? What are her options?</p>
<p>Hugs. This can’t be fun for any of you.</p>
<p>Can you fill in a couple of facts first-- What does the school define as Academic Suspension (i.e. what does it take for her to get reinstated)? Does she have an adviser or was the Dean of Freshman involved and what does that person say the options are? And what are your financial constraints, i.e. she can’t attend a college without significant aid, or you are full pay, or she had merit aid which is now obviously gone, etc.</p>
<p>And what was her HS transcript, test scores, etc.? And did she apply to the school close to home when she was a senior or was that just something you encouraged?</p>
<p>People here can be helpful with some options if you can fill in the blanks. And don’t panic. And for god’s sake, no use blaming the college. I think it’s sort of noble of them not to take your money for next semester given that the likelihood of your D turning things around without some sort of a wake-up call is close to zero. In the long run, they are doing your D a big favor.</p>
<p>And nobody flunks 2 classes and gets two C’s without some sort of a warning along the way- even your D was in deep denial about not taking her meds. So you need to accept that your D knew- on some level- that she was circling the drain and chose not to take action. So I think you’ve all been spared another wasted semester right now while you re-group. This must feel very scary but calm down-- this is a bump in the road and you will all get past it.</p>
<p>If you don’t want her to return to her college you may have options at a local community college, I would meet with the admissions staff at the school she is interested in and make a plan. At the very least she could take classes of interest that develop skills, not necessarily for college credit.</p>
<p>I’m sure this is all very painful right now, but you both may find that the overall outcome is for the best later on - you felt staying closer to home was a better choice but your daughter wasn’t able to make that choice initially. She has only one semester thus far, a change of scenery and a more familiar environment will give her an opportunity to dramatically improve her gpa and learn to manage her own life on a day to day basis. Her unfortunate beginning is not necessarily the map of her future in college or beyond, she now knows that she isn’t ready to handle certain situations and you are forming a plan of action to get her to that point of independence. There are students with equally lackluster gpa’s and no good excuse for it, your daughter can come through this difficult learning experience and make a new start.</p>
<p>Good luck to you both.</p>
<p>I agree the the college may have done you a favor in the long run. I’m also curious if your D was a “young” college freshman. How much supervision did she need in high school? If the answer is that needs a couple years “seasoning” attending a commuter college for 2 years may be the best help she needs. Not all kids are ready to go off to college right after high school. It does not mean she won’t ever get a degree. My parents kept my sibling home (despite graduating at the tippy top of the high school class) because they felt some maturity was lacking. My sibling ended up graduating from one of the top engineering schools.</p>
<p>Sorry to read this, it cannot be easy for you or your D. I would cut your losses now and have your D go see an advisor at your local CC. They take pretty much everyone, I am sure they will gladly take your D. If there is any chance your D might want to go back to the college she is now at, I would ask them for a LOA, although it sounds like your D has ruled out returning. Worse, case your D takes a semester off and works. It gives you both some time to develope a plan. What was she majoring in?</p>
<p>Last spring semester, Son’s ADD drugs ran out early on and we did not find out until right before spring break…I’ll never forget how he behaved when he got home for spring break…like a kid I didn’t recognize. Trust me folks, the lack of ADD drugs alone can tank a semester. (Fortunately, when we found out there was still time to drop the two classes he was failing.) Since the drugs are contolled substances, most university health services won’t handle them, and the kid can has to go to a doctor in person to pick up a prescription then take it to a pharmacy, and can only get 30 days at a time. The thing is, once they are OUT of the drugs, the many stepped process in getting more is almost impossible for them. I think this is the downfall of more young college students than we can imagine.</p>
<p>Are you sure she can’t attend community college? What if she takes a reduced load so she is not a full time student?</p>
<p>I’d guess that your daughter could attend your local community college but you’d have to get your ducks lined up quickly. She would probably have to take a placement test to meet course prerequisites - this is just for taking courses.</p>
<p>It may be possible for her to matriculate into a degree program but you’d have to go through the application process. It may be possible to take courses while applying.</p>
<p>Many community colleges are very busy these days due to the economy which may mean that admissions staff are very busy. Courses may be filling up fast or already full by now for the spring semester. I’d suggest getting on the website for your local CC to see if there are courses that your daughter is interested in taking in the spring.</p>
<p>You have gotten some good advice here…</p>
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<p>This isn’t the college’s fault–
Your DD would have had a syllabus and grades/projects, things to mark her way—
As a young adult she has to learn to be accountable for herself…including taking her meds, going to class, doing the work etc. </p>
<p>Sorry to hear this because I agree that a school normally would issue a probationary period and working new strategies / coordination with the Dir of Services etc, she should get at least a second semester to make the adjustment.
Can she appeal the suspension and get probation for the spring?</p>
<p>Hugs to you</p>
<p>Thank you so much for the advice offered so far and for the positive support. I think that maybe I should have explained some things a little more. My daughter is a very responsible, hard working young lady. She had a 3.4 GPA in high school, performed 4 hours of volunteer work weekly 9th - 12th grades, and has always been very respectful to us and valued our opinions. She even called and asked permission to go to the one college party that she went to. She has a work study job on campus and worked all summer for spending money for school.
She was diagnosed with ADHD in 1st grade when she told the teacher that the words were spinning around so fast in her head that she just could not grab hold of them. Her hyperactivity only consists of wiggling in her seat; she was never a behavior problem. She has great difficulty with concentrating and focusing. Her doctor said she only needs her medicine on school days, not weekends, holidays or summers, which is one of the reasons that she forgot her medicine so much this fall. I know that she is an adult and has to take responsibility, but, then, again, she is only 18 years old. I should have had her take her medicine during the summer and got her on a routine.
Forgetfulness is part of ADHD. For Blossom to say that she would have had another “wasted semester without a wake up” is very insensitive. I was hoping to get advice not chastisement; I can assure you that I am chastising myself already. She is not an irresponsible partier who skipped all her classes. She is a kid who was in over her head without her medication and not sure how to help herself. She knows that she messed up and is kicking herself too.
I do not think that the college handled this situation well. I talked to the Disability Services Director in the summer during orientation and asked him what documentation he needed for my daughter to get services if she needed them. He said a statement from the doctor listing her condition and the medicine that she takes. When he was given that statement at the beginning of the fall semester, he then said that wasn’t enough. So he gave my daughter a list of documentation that he needed. Why couldn’t he have given me that paper in the summer? That delayed and limited the services that she could receive. She only asked for extended time in Math because she thought that she could handle the other classes. She was wrong. The math teacher did not give her extended time on all of her tests however.
Yes, she knew that she was doing poorly, but being a naive teenager, she thought that she could still work it out. Again, she was wrong and she is being punished for it. The reason she failed this semester was not having the medicine to help her focus in class, on tests, on homework and on assignments; her doctor agreed. The Disabilities Services Director agreed. But the Appeals Committee did not agree. So forgive me for being upset with the college, but I am. And believe me, I am no less upset with my daughter. She is learning a hard lesson; I am not sure that the punishment that was doled out was merited however.
I agree with you Missypie that ADHD is the downfall of more college students than we know about. As a teacher, I see the difference medicine makes in students. I see the success that children begin to feel in school when they can finally focus and aren’t getting in trouble.
My daughter wants to be a recreation therapist and work with disabled students. There is a small private college that is only 45 minutes away that offers that major. I will give them a call and see what steps we can take for her to enter in the fall or maybe a year and a half. We will also contact some of the local community colleges to find out our options. Thanks again for all of the advice.</p>
<p>You’re not alone, r33breora. My D withdrew right after midterms, when she realized she couldn’t bring up her grades. She withdrew in time to prevent grading. I would push to get some type of medical withdrawl from the school that doesn’t include grades. I know someone that was able to do that and was then able to enroll elsewhere. I think that living away from home AND starting college, at the same time, is just too overwhelming for some students. My D began taking her ADD meds on her own in the summer before college started. She did oversleep a few mornings, so was late for work. Her plan for second semester is to live at home, attend an easier school, and take later classes.</p>
<p>Disability Offices will tell you about all the services they offer. My D had two special tutoring classes, a personal “success coach”, yada, yada, yada. But they can’t force the student to use any of the services, nor can they keep parents up-to-date on grades. They can’t even tell you if your student has been attending classes. My D told me she quit going to class in October. The “success coach” would call and ask how things were going, so I don’t think he had access to any information, either. There is no one to monitor students.</p>
<p>OP, I think your daughter will recover from all this and being closer to home may give her the opportunity to grow up and mature alittle bit but still have a “closer” ability to reach out to you when she needs help. Her life is not ruined or in shambles it is just going to take a slightly different path and the outcome has every possibility of being what she wanted it to be. </p>
<p>College, while different than when we were there three decades ago, are still a place where kids are pretty much on their own to navigate, self regulate and all those independent sorts of things. The simple fact is that there are plenty of kids who just aren’t ready…they might be academically ready but they are not mature enough. Don’t beat yourself up.</p>
<p>Most community colleges are open admissions so she should be able to attend without any problems. My daughter left school her sophmore year without telling us and of course without withdrawing (a semester of Fs). She was 19 and they don’t make decisions like adults. She too is ADD and all though it was a long scary haul for a couple of years it turned out great in the long run. She had to go to community college to get her grades up and now is enrolled in her dream major music therapy at a Big 10 school loving it and working harder than ever. There is light at the end of the tunnel.</p>
<p>No school wants a lawsuit on their hands.
She’s covered by the ADA. She has a documented disability, she registered with the disability services etc. Sure she’s an adult and has to be responsible, but the nature of her disability is such that it would lead to forgetting to take the very meds that are necessary.
The entirety of her record should be expunged-- it was a medical issue even if there was some classic freshman maturity/away from home issues at play.
You need to contact the disability office and the general counsel to see about getting all the Fs off and the other remaining grades turned to Pass/Fail.
She simply needs a fresh start. Clearly this is not a supportive college for students with medical disabilities.</p>
<p>^ Excellent advice. I had forgotten how she is covered by ADA!!!</p>
<p>We have one student who works hard and with that tenacity-things come together</p>
<p>We have a second student with same IQ and also ADD and processing impairement --down to a very slow level–
Has been issued accomodations from College Board and school–yet doesn’t use them and tries to get by–Not realizing the accomodations level the playing field and are not an “advantage”, kwim?
So here this bright, inquisitive kid forgets to do the thing you asked…
and yet at the same time remembers you love violets for example and brings them on your birthday…</p>
<p>Sending you love and support for you and DD</p>
<p>Your post got me wondering how our kiddo will remember to take meds–since I dispense them in the AM right now
AND
they are obtained with a written script each month for 30 days ONLY
very controlled since the street value is high…</p>
<p>Alll issues I had not even considered
Thank you for sharing and I will be praying for a GOD inspired solution and for her bright future</p>
<p>Warmest regards
fogfog</p>
<p>I don’t agree with you Overachieversmom for several reasons. Disabilities, learning or otherwise, some require a caregiver, some don’t. College is optional and historically and probably for many decades to come they are not in the position of hiring staff to function as “caregivers.” They may triage. They may advise. But they do not staff as replacement physicians or replacement parents. Universities may have more services. Small private colleges fewer services. College is optional. All young people enter with an understanding or not that they have obligations to continue in the college. They have a bar to meet to continue federal finaid. They may have a bar to meet to continue scholarships and grants and many have a bar they must meet to continue in their major. For the most part these things are in writing and apply to all students. I cannot see any reason why a college should “expunge” a students failed semester. If you have a medical disability you ask for a medical leave…but not after the fact. This was a tough lesson for the OP and the D. This was a young person who was not mature enough to raise her hand and say “I’m struggling.” That statement is only a supposition because the OP has not talked about her D visiting her advisor or tutoring sessions, etc. Perhaps her D tried all that and did not receive support - but we don’t know what her D did or didn’t do on her own. Perhaps that is why the college would like her to take a break for awhile rather than wait and see if she matures in the next four months. But I cannot imagine any institution of any size or rank would “expunge” a record.</p>
<p>Mother knew best. You thought the closer college would have been better for your D as she went off to college. She wanted to completely self manage by going to another college. She wasn’t ready to do so at this time; surely, things will change in the future. Sometimes you don’t know what you can or can’t do unless you try. You guys tried.</p>
<p>As for the college not even putting her on probation…some schools may have a hard fast rule–under 1.0 and you are out–no probation. You put your pitch together for the appeal which was denied. I think you should thank the school for helping you to move on to a better situation. </p>
<p>Whatever plans you were going to put together to make this upcoming semester a success at the old school, I’d put them into gear for the new school. And good luck!</p>
<p>I’ve never heard of a college “expunging” a record. It is possible at some schools to petition to retroactively drop courses or withdraw. This is probably not a hopeful course of action for the OP’s D, though, since she has already petitioned once.</p>
<p>I feel your pain! My son has had the same experience this semester. No probation just kicked out. He sent an appeal as he was told to do by his advisor. That was denied. He can also go for an appeal in person which he plans to do. Today we found out he has medical issues that have impacted his studying. Not ADD but still causing the lack of focus, memory issues, and motivation. We were at the Dr. for this but had no idea it could impact him in that way. I really think with another chance he would be ok especially now that he would be treated medically. He is devastated like your DD but does want to go back. He feels he has ruined his life. He knows he screwed up. It wasn’t all medical. I. Just hope he gets a second chance.</p>
<p>I stand by my assertion-- if you are supposed to take a med, and forget to take it and become ill, then you cannot be held accountable. If the OP and Stacey3’s S and D are in this situation- being suspended is a violation of the rights afforded to the disabled. Expunge may be strong-- but if the Fs could be Ws and Ds into Passes-- and the student gets into counseling, seems a reasonable negotiation point.</p>