My first crush (i.e., emotional attachment) is on my married professor Ben, partially because of gri

Student Lounge College Life
21

So you are out of school and still hung up on a married professor that you had as an undergrad?

I would encourage you to get counseling. Crushing on a married person is never going to end well.

And for the record, lots and lots of posters here are done with school. Totally OK to post as a graduate. Just pick the appropriate forum and be up front.

22

@momofsenior1 Ben is my married internship supervisor, not professor; I met him in summer 2018, but the crush formed in September this year. Sorry for not being up front initially - guess I made things more complicated.

Will it look bad if I copy and paste this thread into the appropriate forum, and be up front (I learned from my mistake)? I don’t know which forum to post it in. I never knew people who graduated from college could post on here about post-college life.

23

You can’t make another “throwaway” account. You can only have one account.

24

It’s fine. Just be honest and upfront as people have really good memories around here. Lol.

Back to the issue. You have feelings for a intern supervisor. That’s not super unusual.

But he’s married. He has a happy life. If you care for him, respect that and know your boundaries.

You can also get him in some real trouble today with the metoo concerns. Especially on a college campus. You could ruin his career.

People get crushes on physicians, priests, therapists, bosses and professors. It happens.

But it can easily move to something much darker and unnecessary. Don’t repay his kindness by upsetting his life.

There is no lake house and dogs in the backyard in this picture. It’s an illusion.

Get out there and meet a nice guy who is in a position to love you back.

25

@privatebanker thanks for being gracious - is it a bad idea if I repost this thread, but instead be up front about what happens (which forums are OK for post-college graduates)? Also what do you mean by this is an illusion?

26

There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The illusion is the potential endings we dream. the story doesn’t end with him playing with puppies in the backyard of your lake home.

It ends in tears, divorces, restraining orders and lost reputations for the most part.

27

I’m so confused. The title of this thread you created literally says “crush… is on my married professor Ben” but you just posted #21 at 5:00 pm today that he’s your married supervisor. I have a head cold hit maybe I should just stop trying to make sense of this thread.

28

@123Mom123 He is my supervisor, NOT professor - sorry for confusing everyone initially; hope you feel better soon. I’m kinda sick too :frowning:

29

The changes in details don’t change the reactions you’ll get here.

  1. He's married. Leave him alone and get over him. He and other married people are totally off limits. Don't mess around with people's marriages/families.
  2. Please seek counseling to get over him, deal with why you are attracted to married men, and other issues you are facing. No stigma here. Seeking therapy from a neutral third party can be helpful in many situations.

I’m not sure what else there is to discuss, frankly.

30

MODERATOR’S NOTE:

I agree. Nothing more to add. Closing thread.