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<p>She admitted that she really hasn’t been applying herself. That said, it was a reach school. Her stats are definitely in the bottom 25%, but she came from a very tough high school. This school is also known as being a party school, but D was never a drinker in H.S.</p>
<p>toledo, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. No ideas beyond what’s already been suggested. I will say, however, I disagree with pp who seems to want to put the majority of the blame on you.</p>
<p>Looking at your post, “reach” and “party school” are NOT a good combination</p>
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<p>Ok, hang on. The OP very explicitly stated her student did not want to operate under an IEP at school.<br>
Two of those courses are 1 credit and 2 credits respectively. They are “intros” for students who have shown interest in a field. Usually, their work load does not in any way compare with a full credit class. Often they meet for less time as well.</p>
<p>Forgot to add – Toledo, I am sorry to hear about this. I think you did the absolute best that you could and I too would have had some hopes that my kid would rise to the occasion. It is not in and of itself a bad thing that she likes the school, (as in liking it too much). We certainly see enough instances of kids who are miserable at their schools on these threads. I would have probably thought that if she were happy, she would be more likely to do well.
All the best to you.</p>
<p>The school knew something about the LD’s because the OP says she spoke with the special ed office about the course load. and was told they pile on courses knowing there would be withdraws. So while they may not be aware of her IEP they do know something about her to have worked with her and/or her mother.</p>
<p>Did the school recommend so many hours. Were the parents pressured to sign off on that load? I’ve heard of freshman taking that sort of course load but they were exceptional students and very mature individuals who could handle it…</p>
<p>and even they struggled.</p>
<p>I have empathy with the OP. But I think the anger and disappointment the parents are feeling at her might be a bit misplaced. She did what most kids like her on paper do. Thus, I’m not sure how much of this is actually her fault.</p>
<p>qdogpa, agreed.</p>
<p>Add the immature and/or LD student and you really don’t have have a good combination.</p>
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Kids who don’t drink in high school often begin to drink in college – and they may be at a disadvantage because they don’t have the experience to know their own limits. </p>
<p>Anyway… no parent can predict what is going to happen – I think its good that the OP is on top of things now. (And I think the kid should withdraw and come home – the situation really does not look salvageable, and if there is a lot of partying going on, I think the blame lies with immaturity more than the LD. I mean – a mature young person with LD’s would know from the start that they needed to stay on top of their studies and work diligently. Not that it’s easy, but a kid who needs an IEP in high school will need to enter college with the understanding that they are going to have to work hard to keep up.)</p>
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I’m not sure that “most” kids with LD’s make such a total mess of their first semester. Certainly some do … but I’m thinking that a good percentage of them are willing to put in the effort needed to succeed at their chosen college.</p>
<p>That being said… I’m not sure that it is ever a good idea for a kid with LD’s to attend a reach school – at least not without an extremely high level of motivation and maturity, which are absent here. I mean - it does kind of stack the deck against them when they are likely to be surrounded by students who are much higher achievers. They need to be in a learning environment where they feel that they realistically can succeed.</p>
<p>calmom, agreed. I am not suggesting all LD kids fail in this scenario. But if they are immature attending a reach party school then I’d love to see the stats on their freshman experience. </p>
<p>I think most kids in this potential scenario don’t end up in this scenario. Some where along the line red flags are raised and the student’s actual best interest is considered.</p>
<p>I know my LD DS will be no where near this situation. I don’t want to gamble our savings on him but, more importantly, kids like him are VERY sensitive to failure and rejection and thus I want to avoid setting him up in a scenario where he feels he’s not cut out for college when in reality it was not a good fit and was not going to be. He’ll go to a local CC or commuter school for a year and then, if he’s ready, he’ll go where he wants.</p>
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I’m not seeing what the big deal is with the course load, but, hey, I majored in Engineering so what do I know? As far as the courses, the Science and Science lab are done for sure. English is done if she isn’t even attending class. The others might be salvageable but it depends on how badly she wants to do that and how strong the outside influences are.</p>
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<p>Thanks! That gave me a much needed laugh. </p>
<p>Neither my S, nor my D, had the chance to register for classes at their respective universities. The schools just gave them their schedules for the first semester. The Office of Disabilities should have recommended a schedule change, once they learned of her disability (ADD).</p>
<p>toledo: are you saying that no advising occured before freshman year? that’s what I’m reading…and, yes, Office of Disabilities should have been on board here from day one…</p>
<p>HUGS. This isn’t going to be easy. </p>
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<p>I just want to point out that this isn’t always true. First, I know that law schools will ask for ALL transcripts. Perhaps there are other graduate programs that do as well. </p>
<p>I don’t really understand all the rules, but my understanding is that there is some limit on fin aid and thus fin aid apps DO require you to disclose all previous schooling. Failure to do so can constitute a crime if you do receive a loan.</p>
<p>Bring her home. It’s doing her no good to stay at school failing and skipping class. She needs to either go to community college (with your support helping her learn to manage her schedule and her accommodations) or work. </p>
<p>I know all too well the feeling of sending one’s child off to college, just hoping they will succeed (but in the heart, knowing they won’t). Parents, don’t do that. Don’t set your child up for failure.</p>
<p>Oh, toledo, so sorry that you have joined “the club” but believe me, you are not alone on CC!</p>
<p>I don’t know if you’ve followed my story, but my son (Asperger’s but like your D, no accomodations) failed a class 1st semester and would have failed 2 second semester had I not swooped in and had him drop them. There are many other pieces to this story that the folks on the 09/13 thread know all too well, but I considered Son’s freshman year pretty much of a nightmare. He is at community college this year. (Last semester, with room & board: $20,000. This semester: $450.)</p>
<p>Anyway, here is why I am chiming in. In my son’s eyes, his freshman year was NOT a nightmare or a failure. He drove to and from the school on his own (3 hours each way) [only getting lost a few times and only getting one speeding ticket.] He did his own laundry (such as it was.) He got himself up every morning. He handled his own healthcare. He called AAA for a jump when his car battery died (twice.) He made friends. He dealt with a laptop crash all on his own.</p>
<p>This is all to say, I’d have your D definitely drop the Fs. Have her send you the syllabus for the D and see if you can figure out if she can raise her grade. Keep the other classes. Even if it is only a tiny load, she may mature in other ways while away from home. Then bring her home at the end of the semester.</p>
<p>And for any other parents of “iffy” high school students: TRUST YOUR GUT!!! If you think it is a distinct possibilty that your child will crash and burn away at school, keep her home for a year or two. Many of us engage in magical thinking.</p>
<p>Yes - I did try to point out that he was fortunate that the second school he went to did not require other transcripts. And he does not receive financial aid. These were very specific circumstances pertaining to him. It’s also possible that he withdrew soon enough that he never did have a transcript at the first school.</p>
<p>But the fact that as an adult you can control your fate more than when you were a HS student is still relevant. And I think it’s particularly important for kids who have alternative needs, styles, etc. When they learn that they can and should make their own life, that’s a very important turning point, and a lot easier to do in the outside world than in a public school system.</p>
<p>missy - well put. I do believe that all “failure” (note quotation marks) has in it the opportunity for growth and often pride as well.</p>
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<p>CF and I cross-posted. Can you tell that we have lived similar experiences?</p>
<p>Missypie gave great advice here…</p>
<p>FWIW</p>
<p>With those grades–your student will likley be put on academic probation at the end of the semester—
if she doesn’t bring up her gpa to a minimum standard by the end of the semester.</p>
<p>Then, her college will likely send her a love note reminding her of the academic standards and she will get spring semester to prove herself and to bring up the grades (AND cumulative GPA) to the minimum standard (according to the number of credits she has)</p>
<p>If you let her stay–and she hasn’t gotten the grades together…she will not be allowed to return in the fall without apppealing the academic dismissal.</p>
<p>Certainly she is loving having freedom and new friends…she now has to reign that in and go to class and study…she has to balance her time and priorities.
Lovingly remind her that all of those new friends will not remember her name once she has left campus if she’s kicked out for bad grades. </p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>Wow. What a tough, sad situation.</p>
<p>Don’t know if this has been suggested, but perhaps she could take a leave for next semester and prove herself at the Comm. College. If she gets her act together she could return to the other school.</p>