Private school students can have IEP or 504 plans. But it sounded to me like this family chose to have their kid attend a private school not in concert with their public school district.
Things I would suggest:
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This student needs to understand his learning differences, and accept them.
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He needs to learn to identify when he needs help…and how to get it before it becomes a crisis. There is NO shame in seeking tutoring or whatever assistance the college offers. Lots of kids seek help!
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He needs to build up some confidence that he can do well, regardless of what he decides to pursue in terms of studies.
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I do still think some kind of career or interest inventory needs to be done. Look at the things he likes. Look At the things he does well. Look at the things he hates. Look at the things he just doesn’t do well at. And look at possibilities that align with his strengths. He might be surprised about some of these options.
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@thumper1 this is what I have been told:
What Happens to Your Child’s IEP If You Switch Schools | Understood
Private schools don’t have to provide IEPs . If you decide on your own to move your child from a public to a private school, the IEP won’t follow you. Your child may be able to get a service plan from the school district where the private school is located. However, this type of plan won’t offer as many services as a standard IEP.
Note from me: this is unless it is an out of district placement done by the IEP team.
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Agreed. Perhaps the OP can clarify, but this sounds like a parent unilateral withdrawal from public school and placement in a private school.
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I worry about the difficulty with reading and writing. Those are essential skills for just about any job and for navigating life. Has he ever had a consultation with a literacy expert? It seems that getting his literacy skills in order would be the first step.
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This is essential. Where/how do we find someone like that?
I chose a private school that had an academic success program for LD students. He started in 6th. The IEP/504 had been a part of his public elementary education. Once he got to middle school, they worked with the neuro-psych Eval to assess his needs and accommodate accordingly.
Did these accommodations continue all the way through high school?
Re: literacy…I agree this is an area that should be addressed….IF this student finds that he needs this for the type of job he wants to do. That’s why I keep going back to some kind of career counselor. This student needs to find something he likes based on his likes and strengths. Personally, I would start there.
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We chose the private school because of the program for LD kids. He was fully integrated but had a daily success support class. He was taught strategies, was scaffolded away as those techniques were mastered. Although I stepped in where I thought it was needed, by high school, I was encouraged to allow him to advocate for himself and by 10th grade, he was on his own. He didn’t use the support his senior year. His grades were B’s. His biggest struggle was foreign language. He muscled through that in 9th & 10th. Math was a strength. Pace was a factor that kept him from taking honors classes. He tried in middle, but by semester 2, he’d get behind.
Yes, accommodations followed him. Where can we find a career counselor for an LD kid?
You need someone who can identify career options for him. That he is LD really will more play into his strengths and weaknesses/ likes and dislikes.
@soozievt @Hanna @Lindagaf @compmom any ideas?
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I think he needs a college with more structured support. We leaned into his decision because we had been hands off since 10th and I figured he knew what he needed. He did not apply for LD support. By the time he did, 2nd semester of college, he was already on academic probation and it was too little, too late. I think it surprised him. I asked him the whole 1st semester how he was doing and he always said good or fine. Meanwhile, I’m not sure he was even looking at his grades. It sounds crazy but maybe he knew and chose to stick his head in the sand and was just hoping for the best. He didn’t miss class. He didn’t party too much. I don’t think he understood the amount of work that would be necessary outside of class. I think he expected things to just work out. Definitely a lack of maturity on his part.
Please don’t think I’m piling on…but the regular sequence of math (not accelerated) has most students taking precalc in their HS senior year. What was the highest math he completed in high school?
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By the 2nd semester when my son applied for help, although this school was in the K&W guide and purported to have support, my son found the team to be lacking. He scheduled meetings were he would be canceled on, and then passed to another person who cancelled. Three weeks in and he felt blown off. I stepped in but he was already so behind. It was a disaster, frankly.
No worries 
I was not involved in his picking courses. I think he had trig as a senior. Not sure why he didn’t take pre-calc. My other son, his younger brother, is in pre-calc as a junior and he says he’s behind. He’s an 4.0 AP kid.
Ok…back to suggestions.
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He needs a job. Something that will keep him busy and that he might like.
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Where is the nearest community college? I’d start there. One course at a time.
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He needs to build his confidence, get better grades, and find his niche. I wouldn’t send him away to college again until he has demonstrated he can do well with college level courses.
Did he go to a boarding high school? It sounds like the curriculum there was not as challenging as at some places (and for good reason). I will say…if precalc was challenging…I’m not sure math is a strength. It’s probably a relative strength to literacy…but that doesn’t mean it’s strong.
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I know a couple of career counselors. Both of them require the student to be quite proactive. IOW, they will discuss options and coach and cheerlead, but they won’t do the actual work for the student.
It seems that this student needs some time to mature. My own son, who was nearly 19 when he started college, is dyslexic and dysgraphic. He had a very rough time during his sophomore year in college (the Covid year) and struggled to get work done, nearly failed a class, etc… He is a senior now and he seems to have pushed through, but honestly, I think it was a combination of being able to put the pandemic behind him and realizing he needed to move forward, as well as simply being more mature.
I personally think this student would benefit from a gap year, or taking it very slowly at a CC and transferring. I myself completed my degree over six years, by attending CC and transferring. That was what I could handle at the time. I spent three years at CC because I ditched class a lot and then was put on academic probation. That was the kick in the pants that I needed.
Not all kids are destined for college, and that’s ok. My 18 year old nephew in CA knew a few years ago that college wasn’t for him. He is going to trade school to be a car mechanic and also will learn welding.
Whatever your son’s future holds, I suggest taking a break from college, for at least a semester. A job is a great idea. I can message you with the name of one of the career coaches I know, if you’d like. I don’t think trying to get this student back to college right now is going to be useful.
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Accommodations from 6-12 were based on the neuro-psych Eval. The IEP was not part of private school. I thought I was putting him somewhere where he would get the support he needed, based on the academic success program and all it touted for the kids enrolled in it. My son loved the school, but did not like this program. I know he just wanted to be like other kids and not have to worry about it. He was successful socially (his best friend went to MIT) and I was encouraged to allow him to advocate for himself and figure out what he needed. By 12th grade, he did not use their services but still had accommodations where he needed them. I figured he’d figured it out. I don’t know what PLOP is. From 2nd to 5th grade, I sent my son to a “brain coach” who gave him one-on-one support, teaching strategies, working around weaknesses and encouraging leaning into strengths. He was very strong in math. We figured he’d find his path. I think the college was the wrong academic fit. I did a lot to support his learning. He is dysgraphic so we knew written expression was always going to be a challenge.
This is an important note. Your son needs to fully understand that he needs some extra help…and that’s OK!
I would be less concerned with career counseling and more concerned with learning style and the best environment to accommodate that.
I would also think about trying school one or two classes at a time. Lesley’s adult learner program online (as well as some of their online BA’s) has two classes per semester but they are one at a time. This worked really well for my daughter. (She did community college first, after leaving her residential college).
Working really builds confidence and honestly it can be anything. Young people seem quite happy at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s. He will meet others at work, since he seems social.
If you think he needs a concrete career goal to be motivated, that would be a good reason to do career counseling. Or coaching. He could also see a therapist. But from what you say, you would have to frame that as career counseling!
I used the term “head in the sand” in a prior post 
Yup!
ps My daughter, the one who took one or two classes at a time for years and just graduated at age 30, has found a passion for American Sign Language. She also worked with autistic kids. I think people sometimes find their path through exploration and random chance! I found my think at age 28, working with the homeless. Not sure a career counselor would have led me there.
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He did do well in high school. He didn’t want to go to Elon because he says it was too easy of a school. He based that off their 79% admit rate. Ridiculous, but he was hung up on reputation. He did go to the most rigorous college he got into which had an admit rate of about 40%. He fell in love with the campus but didn’t take seriously the rigor until it was too late.
As for placement testing. No the college did not do this. I remember doing this when I went to college, tho. Would have been quite helpful.
When he finally applied for academic support, they asked for his latest neuro-psych Eval but never really addressed his learning style with him. I would have done it differently had I known and got started from the moment he was accepted. But, as the parent, they want the student to advocate and my son wanted to go in without them knowing. I think he thought he’d be fine. It’s been an expensive lesson and he’s not happy how it ended up.
I’m glad you figured it out and went on to be successful and productive! 