<p>Legend,
What a terrible thing you have had to deal with at this time of your life. Could your mother's refusal to pay be a plea from her for you to stay home and be the man of the house? In her mind, if she doesn't pay, then she thinks you won't (or can't) go to Penn. Then, you would stay at home, and she wouldn't have to endure another loss. I know that there was a bit of sadness when my children left for college-- excitement, but a touch of sadness. For her, in her grieving mind, your going to Penn would be another loss. </p>
<p>If you go to Penn, and I encourage you to do that, make sure that you keep up contact with her. College students are so busy in their lives, that they sometimes push mom and dad to the back burner. It's fine, but she has to be so afraid that she will lose you, too. Remember, much of her fear comes from a lack of knowledge about college and its importance in today's world. She is facing a life that she wasn't planning for, a life that she has to make the decisions that your father usually made, or at least had an imput. If she uses that money (and while $500,000 is a lot of money, it isn't a fortune), it is gone. If she needs it, then there is even more fear and uncertainty. Fear feeds on itself.<br>
Don't give up your dream of Penn. You can make this work. Having some debt will make you more focused, and more determined to succeed and get rid of the debt. God bless you.</p>