My parents are forcing me to change my lifestyle

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<p>In your opinion. My framework is evidently drastically different from yours.</p>

<p>Religion is a personal choice insofar as one cannot control another’s thoughts in almost any situation. I doubt that is quite what you meant, hence the first sentence of my response. </p>

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<p>One cannot “make” another do anything. But it is something that goes beyond that – I would be condoning the damnation of my children to eternal hellfire (unless God’s mercy extends to them) if I were to simply ignore their religious beliefs if they were different than mine. As a loving parent, I cannot do that.</p>

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<p>You’re introducing a false dichotomy where there isn’t one. I am an independent person. I make my own choices. Yet, at the same time, there was an expectation of adherence (at least in form) to a particular faith in my household. Furthermore, I also think for myself.</p>

<p>And you are not longer Catholic, which is fine. But I question how religious you were originally if you cannot even understand (because it is clear that you do not) the perspective of someone of your original faith.</p>

<p>This discussion is over unless you want to beat a dead horse. You have nothing substantial or interesting to say, so I suggest you follow your original statement and /your involvement in this thread.</p>

<p><em>old parent voice</em></p>

<p>Get a job!</p>

<p><em>end old parent voice</em></p>

<p>^^ I understand the framework quite well, thanks.</p>

<p>And I am still DEEPLY religious. But it was MY choice. </p>

<p>And PS: don’t tell me what you suggest I do and do not do. </p>

<p>Goddess, I REALLY feel bad for your future kids. Serious :rolleyes:</p>

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<p>If you truly understood it, you wouldn’t have replied to my post in the first place because you would have known that I don’t view it as a personal choice. </p>

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<p>I’m sorry that you erroneously feel that way.</p>

<p>^
No. I believe it. I also believe it is a personal choice and that not everyone HAS to believe in x,y,z. </p>

<p>I may believe my religion is the truth, but I don’t begrudge people who feel differently than myself. It’s called being tolerant. </p>

<p>It’s an awesome skill to have. Much less wars and violence that way ;). </p>

<p>And IIRC, there was a man a few thousand years ago who presumably taught about tolerance. I think his name was Jesus. You might know him ;). </p>

<p>Tootaloo. <em>waves</em></p>

<p>Blessed be.</p>

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<p>I’m glad we feel the same way on the necessity of tolerance.</p>

<p>OP, you asked: “Am I out of line in opposing these measures? Am I just a spoiled brat? I need advice.”</p>

<p>Sorry, James. Based on what I’ve read so far, I’m going to have to say, “You’re apparently a spoiled brat.” Either that, or you’re suffering from some sort of pervasive personality disorder similar to Asperger’s. Or worse.</p>

<p>To me, you communicate an air of arrogance and disdain in your writing. You have an air of superiority that seems to have no basis. You come across as so absurdly entitled that I’ve even wondered in the last few pages of this thread if you’re a ■■■■■. Most people your age, who had the self-absorbed thoughts you have, would keep them to themselves, since thoughts of that nature reveal not-so-nice things about you. (Not that I’m espousing insincerity.) But you practically brag about your inappropriate ideas! And you say things about yourself that are clearly not true based on other things you say about yourself. For example, you keep saying you’re responsible, but just about everything else you’ve told us says that you’re not. Or that you’re already grown up and can take care of yourself. But you’re not; you don’t; and you can’t. So on top of all those other things, your sense of yourself seems to be significantly skewed and diametrically opposed to others’ sense of you.</p>

<p>I feel sad for you. And, really honestly, you scare me a little. Because your posts scream, “Nobody’s as important as me!” And that feels like “sociopath.” You seem to readily resort to hostility, criticism, and sarcasm when people disagree with you, all the while sounding smug, as though you’ve showed them. You’re frighteningly self-absorbed. You lack empathy. You seem to think of yourself as better than everybody else who took the time to read and answer your post. You’re oppositional and resistant to authority and structure and rules, much more than most of your peers. (And those are somewhat typical teenage traits.) You’re only 17 or 18 and yet so very condescending. To me, these are all very worrisome things.</p>

<p>I don’t know you, of course. I only know what I have read on this thread. And you don’t make a good impression here at all. In my opinion.</p>

<p>If you were my 17/18 year old child, I would probably impose stricter rules than what your parents have imposed. I might take you to some third world country, set you up with some charitable organization, and leave you there to work. Volunteer work, that is. With your brains AND your body. You need rehab for the soul, in my estimation. (Unless there’s some other underlying disorder.)</p>

<p>If you didn’t comply with my new rules, I would probably boot you out of my house, with possibly 24 hours notice, and let you worry about all the details as to where and how you’ll get housing and food. It wouldn’t be too long before you’d discover how well molding the world to your will feeds and clothes you. In fact, I’m wondering now why all the poor, starving people in world don’t just work a little harder to mold the world to their will. That seems so much easier than doing all those things they probably don’t want to do or don’t like to do – like starving. </p>

<p>James, if I were your parent, I would do all this as a last ditch effort to save you. While I still had some authority over you. You would not like me much. But I wouldn’t care. I would know that your future happiness depended on you having a much less self-absorbed, entitled, privileged fantasy about life.</p>

<p>To me, you sound like a very, very difficult child. If you’re difficult because of some underlying disorder, then you need some help. And you have my sympathies and compassion. If you’re difficult because you’ve been spoiled rotten, well … I’m afraid your parents will have to share culpability in that, but you’re still the one who’s going to live with the problem for the rest of your life, and you’re still the one who’s on the hook for your own behavior.</p>

<p>I wish you the best, James. Grow, grow, grow!</p>

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<p>And you’re saying this on CC? LOL. Passed 3 AP Courses and 2 College courses. I bet you feel superior. Hold up, let me get you a medal. This gives the connotation that you think you are greater than what you are.</p>

<p>So… you think you’re the **** because you passed a few classes and are ahead of the curve, whoopty damn doo. That’s not that special. By the end of my senior year, I would have enough credits to put me in a sophomore standing just coming out of HS.</p>

<p>I can’t go on with this. All this arguing is literally having a detrimental effect on my emotional health. So many people telling me I’m wrong and spoiled and a terrible self centered person all at once. It’s just not true. I think it was the sociopath comment that broke the camel’s back. When someone goes that far, it’s time to throw in the towel. </p>

<p>My posts and writing style may seem arrogant, SimpleLife, but I’m really just trying to defend myself against false accusations made by even more arrogant posters. When you take my words out of context, like MIThopeful16 did in the post above, I can see very easily why you’d call me arrogant.</p>

<p>Anyway, the point of this thread was to give me advice, and advice I have received. All this arguing has only further cemented my beliefs seeing as no one can provide an adequate rebuttal to my reasoning. Convincing all of you that I’m right is an unnecessary, secondary issue, however satisfying it may be.</p>

<p>I’ll talk with my parents today or tomorrow about their rules and post the results of the negotiations afterward.</p>

<p>JamesGold, some parting advice that I offered earlier:</p>

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<p>Sorry, an adequate rebuttal to whatever you pass off as reasoning has been offered over and over again. You shouldn’t bother with us rational, independent persons: convincing your future source of income that you’re right is far more important. Good luck with your that – you’ll need it, as you clearly are not going to be able to rely on your ability.</p>

<p>Baelor, stop. Please.</p>

<p>Whatever you say, man. I’m not keeping you here.</p>

<p>So this is how you respond to criticism? This is poor. At times(a whole lot), it seemed harsh, but the point was to show you the error of your ways. We have provided more than adequate rebuttals, you’re just ignorant and believe your way is the right way. Honestly, you’re a stubborn child.</p>

<p>Alright. I’m over my hysteria and ready to kick some ass again. How about we start from the beginning? I’ll try to make my arguments as basic and easy to understand as possible.</p>

<ol>
<li>Reinstate your participation in Youth Group at church.</li>
</ol>

<p>Unreasonable. I’m an atheist. Alternatives for social interaction are present.</p>

<ol>
<li>Be awake each morning by 8-9AM and get dressed/start your day. Bed time at 12 midnight Mon-Fri.</li>
</ol>

<p>Reasonable with a little negotiating to fit the circadian rhythm of teenagers. I’m going to have to be up at a certain time during the weekdays anyway for my live internet “class connects.” I hadn’t thought of these class connects until now. Doh!</p>

<ol>
<li>Be available to help Mom with any chores she needs done.</li>
</ol>

<p>Reasonable.</p>

<ol>
<li>Get a part time job and buy a car for transportation to your new job. </li>
</ol>

<p>Unreasonable because:</p>

<p>1) I have no need for extra cash because I’ve saved up quite a bit of money from my previous job. There’s no reason to get a job when you don’t need money.</p>

<p>Arguments saying that I should get a job because that’s the way it works out in the real world are invalid because:</p>

<p>1) That’s like saying I should gouge my eye out so that I know what it’s like to have my eye gouged out. You avoid unpleasant things whenever possible. At this point in my life, I’m fortunate enough to be able to avoid some unpleasant things (like a job).
2) Even if you don’t subscribe to #1 for whatever reason, it should please you (you being whoever disagrees with me) that I’ve already held a steady job for 11 months in the past. I am capable of holding down a job. I know what the real world is like. You get a job to make a living. But I don’t need to make a living. So I won’t get a job.
2) I should have the right to spend the money I worked for as I please.
3) I don’t need a car at this point in my life. My transportation needs are taken care of. My parents have been more than willing to allow me to drive their cars on occasion. They haven’t told me in any way that they have a problem with me driving their cars on occasion. I have the impression that they’d be willing to let me drive their cars on occasion in the future.
4) Cars are expensive to buy, to refuel, to insure, and to repair. These costs are unnecessary because I don’t need a car.</p>

<p>I realize my parents are trying to get me to live a more normal, healthy, structured lifestyle. But I don’t think forcing me into a part time job and forcing me to buy a car is the best way to go about it. I believe better options are volunteering, sports, clubs, etc. Still, the question of how I’m going to transport myself to said activities is left unsettled. If my parents will let me use their cars, then great. If not, then I might have to buy a car and get a job to maintain the car.</p>

<p>Perhaps my perception of jobs in general has been skewed by my first job. I hated my boss, hated my work, and dreaded going. I can’t imagine tutoring would be anything like that. I have no boss, I’m not wiping sweat off tanning beds, the pay is stellar, and I get to use my mind rather than my body. Not a bad deal. And it’s never a bad idea to be making money, even if the money isn’t required in the present, it might be required in the future. Hmmm…</p>

<p>Once I start attending community college full time, I’m going to need a car to transport myself. If I buy a car now and work while I have few responsibilities, I might be able to afford car upkeep in the future, assuming that the cost of upkeep for my car is less than the income produced by job. This will probably be the case because I won’t use my car all that often and I’ll buy a solid Honda that doesn’t break down and gets good gas mileage. I can use the money I save from this job to pay for car upkeep in the future. And what a better time to have money stored up for car upkeep than when taking college classes? If car upkeep is taken care of by my reserve, I’ll be able to focus on my studies more because I won’t have to get a job to pay for car upkeep! Hooray! Everyone is happy, or at least moderately so. </p>

<p>Why didn’t any of you think of this? This line of reasoning actually gives me a good reason to get a job; not the “Life sucks, deal with it!” nonsense so many of you have been spewing.</p>

<p>If you had any ability to read through posts, you would’ve known this was said. And you rejected this previously. So there. This isn’t kicking ass either. It’s quite a simple solution that was suggested earlier. We all said #1 was out of line except for Baelor, and that #2 and #3 were reasonable. #4 we said something, gave BS excuses. Blamed social anxiety, and then had more bs to say. Then at some point what you posted was posted previously. Now you’re just rehashing what was previously said. Not kicking ass in the slightest.</p>

<p>Sure, you all said I should get a job, but the reasons you gave for this were, and still are, pathetic. I actually submitted a legitimate reason for getting a job. All you’ve said throughout this entire thread is, “Hey, you’re lazy. You should get a job. Life sucks, deal with it!” If it weren’t for the legitimate reason I gave for getting a job, I’d still be protesting the notion. I still stand by all the “BS” you claim I’ve said.</p>

<p>Also, I’ve never once used my social anxiety as an excuse for doing nothing all day in this thread. Social anxiety is the reason I’ve been cooped up all day in the past. What we’ve been discussing in this whole damn thread is the best way for me to end my hermitage and acquire a more balanced lifestyle.</p>

<p>For being the math-whiz you claim you are, your ability to create logical arguments and dissect the arguments of others is severely lacking.</p>

<p>Your thread title suggests otherwise. Your original intentions seemed to be just complaining.</p>

<p>Regardless, I am done here. You seem to have made up your mind. Good luck in life.</p>

<p>I’m buying a car, going to public school, and getting a job.</p>

<p>ooh, what happened? How do you feel about that?</p>

<p>I am only on page 5, and I am also a parent interloper, but if think the Youth Group is about facilitating your socializing with a relatively non-threatening group of peers, and maybe people who used to be friends. When I prescribe medication for social anxiety disorder, I stress that it is there to make strides toward socializing a little easier. It doesn’t "work’, if you don’t try. I treat several kids who don’t attend regular school.</p>