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<p>I’m not saying that I believe he is all grown up. I only meant to say, he’s proved that he’s responsible, or at least responsible enough for his age.</p>
<p>But I’m giving OP the benefit of the doubt, because you guys are coming to such brash conclusions. Other posters have implied that he’s just bumming around in his house. Clearly, that is not the case.</p>
<p>Maybe I am a little harsh. I admit. I have some disdain for those that got it all handed to them. But I feel with so many people saying the same thing, that I’m not being all that unreasonable.</p>
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<p>First of all, it’s common sense. I’m giving OP benefit of the doubt, by assuming he knows this is not how it works in the real word, because IT IS COMMON SENSE.</p>
<p>Also, </p>
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<p>This is enough for me. His posts have shown that.</p>
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<p>You guys have the tortuous perception that OP is living a comfy, leisurely life, IMO. He does work for what he gets…</p>
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<p>From his posts you can feel that his attitude is that he’s above his parents and that they are only here to give him passive income and a place to live… </p>
<p>and at the atheist thing… it’s just that I think switching over to atheism is too liberal for so many kids to do at their fancy, but the OP has shown that he has been through the whole religious process so whatever.</p>
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<p>Everything he has said backs up that perception. Every single thing, even the posts you just highlighted.</p>
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<p>He is. He didn’t before, but then he quit anything that didn’t suit his conception of a life worth living. So, now, he is doing nothing.</p>
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<p>Problem is, I did not get that feeling at all!</p>
<p>My problem is that I feel other posters are jumping to conclusions to quickly and assuming too much.</p>
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<p>But he’s saved up enough money from his previous job, which is why he feels he does not need to get another job. </p>
<p>From what I gather, he’s still going to work hard in school, volunteer, and participate in golf. What’s the problem?</p>
<p>Rhetorical question that may or may not help my point: Lets say someone won the lottery. They don’t have to work another hour for the rest of their life. Are you guys going to flame this lottery winner for choosing to live a cushier life, and avoiding the “real world”? </p>
<p>This also isn’t the case. But from what I see, OP can choose what kind of life he wants for himself at this moment, while he’s still in high school, because he can. Nothing wrong with that, he’s only in high school. He knows the real world will not work like that and he will change once he goes to college (when he needs to).</p>
<p>Anyway, devil’s advocate moment here… :OP plans to move out at age 20/21 and graduate college at 22/23? This concerns me. </p>
<p>But only because I’m the type of person who’s getting out once I graduate high school.</p>
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<p>I read an interesting book describing the inability of people to live above their means from a psychological perspective. That is, lottery winners tend to blow their cash because they are “unable” in some bizarre way to live with that much money.</p>
<p>And the issue isn’t that the life is cushier. The issue is that the OP finds his parents’ demands unreasonable. If he wants to fail in life, he can go right ahead. Not my concern. But he asked for advice about how reasonable his parents’ requests were, and I answered.</p>
<p>For the record, if I have children, I would be fine with their living a cushy lifestyle – but their responsibilities would equal those of other children, just in different areas (e.g. chairing a foundation instead of working). If the OP is capable of sleeping until the afternoon, he clearly has no analogous responsibilities.</p>
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<p>You just told me flat out that the notion of me going to college and getting a lucrative degree is ridiculous.</p>
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<p>Statistically, I’m already way ahead of the curve as far as college preparation goes. I’ve taken and passed 3 AP exams and passed 2 college courses over the summer with A’s. I’ll be taking another college class this upcoming fall concurrently with my high school classes and then another during the Spring. After that, I’ll be taking another three AP exams, and after that additional college courses over the Summer. By the end of the summer after my senior year, I’ll have all of IGETC completed plus a little more. Take your statistics and shove them up your ass.</p>
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<p>I think LaTina quoted the relevant words I had to say on responsibility a few posts up. Check those out again, because you obviously didn’t read post #84 with your thinking cap on. </p>
<p>Also, thank you, LaTina, for helping me deal with the masses. Your responses have more or less been close to the way I would have responded.</p>
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<p>I’m attending community college after high school because it saves me tens of thousands of dollars. Then I’m transferring to a UC. That’s why I’ll be leaving the house one or two years after high school graduation.</p>
<p>Fair enough, Baelor! But if we’re going back to the issue of whether or not his parents are being unreasonable…</p>
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Unreasonable. He shouldn’t have to be forced to be associated with church, especially if he’s an atheist. He said he’s going to volunteer or participate in other programs. If you guys think his parents are suggesting this because they’re worried about his social skills, OP has already addressed this.</p>
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Reasonable. He had also agreed to change his sleep schedule. This is no long an issue.</p>
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Reasonable. This was never an issue. OP stated that this was reasonable.</p>
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<p>Unreasonable. OP does not feel the need to get a part time job, he has saved enough money. </p>
<p>About the car though, OP said he only borrows his parents’ car on occasion. He later said that “on occasion” means maybe twice a week, but never when it’s an inconvenience to his parents.</p>
<p>That concerns me though. I’m going to suggest that maybe he can offer to pay for gas or part of the registration/insurance/whatever, to be fair to his parents. Even if OP says it seems like parents have no problem with it… if you have your own money, why not. It’s only fair, imo.</p>
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<p>The problem is that his parent’s have a problem. Honestly, it wouldn’t matter if you think that he is doing an amazing job, and I think that he is doing a horrible job. What does matter is what job his parents think he is doing. And they have concerns. </p>
<p>Man do I wish your parents had made this thread lol. In any class, be grateful to them for all their leniency, hard work, and patience.</p>
<p>Latina, you don’t get to decide what is and isn’t reasonable/unreasonable for someone else’s kid. Obviously, his parents opinions differ. And I happen to think those are all reasonable.</p>
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<p>Now I’m not the kind to disrespect parents, at all. But here’s what I’m saying about posters jumping to conclusions and making assumptions.</p>
<p>Who says his parents think he’s doing a horrible job. I have never gotten that notion. They’re not even suggesting that many changes.</p>
<p>Who says he isn’t grateful for his parents. Refer back to that one post where he said “If my mom comes down with a horrible sickness…”</p>
<p>Also, refer back to that one post where he considers 2bizee’s suggestions on how to make his parents happier.</p>
<p>Sighhhhh I spent my whole day on this forum…</p>
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<p>DUDE!! It’s my own opinion!!! I’m not saying that my word is the be all end all decision in it, at all!! OP came to this thread asking for advice if his parents’ suggestions were unreasonable or not!!</p>
<p>Why do you think that forcing him to rejoin the youth group at church and getting a car/job is reasonable again? We have already discussed alternatives, which OP has pretty much owned up to.</p>
<p>Why are you trying to rehash.</p>
<p>I think you should be able to make you’re own choices, regardless of how bad they are. IMO, your parents shouldn’t be trying to control you.</p>
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<p>Degrees aren’t inherently lucrative. And I was referring to your dream of living on passive income and earning a lucrative enough degree to do so right out of college. That is a total pipe dream, buddy. You can go to college. Millions of children do. </p>
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<p>You can lie to yourself in whatever way you feel is best. I’m sorry, were your “credentials” supposed to impress me on any level? Try again. All I see is another student like hundreds of thousands of others. But you’re special, right?</p>
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<p>I have no need of a thinking cap – I am in the state it is supposed to bring perpetually. But nice to know what you require to function properly. I read your post. My statements stands.</p>
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<p>False. I’ve already addressed why religious “requirements” by parents are reasonable.</p>
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<p>It doesn’t matter. The parents are looking for a work ethic – perhaps they even would like the OP to stoop to the depths of normal society. Their demand for a job is reasonable because it is likely not grounded in financial concerns. If the OP volunteered eight hours a day, that would be another story.</p>
<p>Look, it is clear that he is yet another member of the vulgus, but is unwilling to come to terms with his commoner status. So, JameGold, recognize that you belong to the hoi-polloi, and deal with the fact that you clearly will never be Mr. Awesome.</p>
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<p>I have no such dream. Achieving passive income right out of college is, in most cases, ridiculous. Allow me to quote post #84 again.</p>
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<p>Notice those two words at the very end of the quotation. Study them. Hard.</p>
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<p>Yes, they were supposed to impress you. They show that I’m committed to going to and doing well in college. I do feel that I’m special, yes, because I’m way ahead of the curve in terms of college preparation.</p>
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<p>I have a work ethic. I wouldn’t be doing so well in my necessary responsibilities if I didn’t have a work ethic. Refer to what I have to say about work ethic in post #84, if you would, please.</p>
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I never said his parents thought he was doing a horrible job. They obviously have concerns though, if they’re setting forth new rules. I also never said he wasn’t grateful, I just reminded him to be grateful for specific reasons that may be overlooked at times by all children.</p>
<p>And calm down, you just checked them off as though the reasonableness had been decided on. And alternatives DO NOT MATTER, IF his parents don’t accept them. I think they’re reasonable because they’re not terrible requests, they’re what his parents want, they want it for his own good, and they deserve their requests met because he lives under their roof for scott free, even though they have no obligation anymore to let him in a week. </p>
<p>And example is, if my mom asks me for 550 dollars for rent, I don’t make alternatives. I don’t say, well maybe I could give you five barrels of apples, mom. Or re-roof your house, mom. I could try to use some alternative like that, but in the end it’ll be rejected because it isn’t what she wants.</p>
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<p>Okay. In fact, I will quote from it as well.</p>
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<p>Fantasy if you think this is a given.</p>
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<p>Fantasy.</p>
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<p>I’m glad we both recognize that “whenever possible” means (in almost every single case) never. Study that last word. Hard.</p>
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<p>No, you are not. I know this because I know many people who have actual credentials. Sure, you are ahead of the curve in terms of the average student, but the average student will not be making more than 50-60k in his lifetime.</p>
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<p>I read it. The fact that you think “necessary responsibilities” is a valid term or criterion at all shows me you have no work ethic. Doing things because you’re told constitutes another aspect of work ethic.</p>
<p>Sorry, nattillee, I misread your post earlier. I shall chillax.</p>
<p>Anyway, me and some other posters have felt that his parent’s requests are unreasonable. We have offered alternatives. I think OP might present those alternatives to his parents. We dont’ know if they will accept the alternative suggestions or not. </p>
<p>Also, if OP’s parents are like down-on-the-sledgehammer-strict and OP can’t reason with them nor would they accept any kinds of alternatives, then I would say… OP should either move out or comply. </p>
<p>But this isn’t the case.</p>
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<p>Ok. I’m going to break my word and come back because of this. </p>
<p>The reason I said he was closed minded was because he said he wouldn’t support his children unless they went along with HIS beliefs. I find that completely wrong as religion is supposed to be a personal choice. Get that? PERSONAL choice. </p>
<p>Force your kids to do something that they do not believe in (like religion, something that is not a law- like school) then they WILL resent you and I feel bad for that child.</p>
<p>It is completely unnecessary to make your children be the same religion as you.</p>
<p>I have no issue with religious parents. I went to a Catholic school for years (I am no longer Catholic). But I absolutely adore my parents for letting me be an independent person and make my own choices. It allowed me to basically live on my own by the time I was 16. I am now a hell of a lot better off than the majority of people my age because <em>gasp</em> I actually know how to think for myself!</p>
<p>ETA:
I have also found that kids are like springs- the more you push them down, the harder they’re going to pop once they’re given a little space. But there are always exceptions- such as the OP.</p>