My Parents Don't Want Me to Move Out

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>I currently live in San Diego and my dream college is in Santa Barbara: UCSB. I have worked extremely hard in high school so that I can go to the college I want and will have passed 8 AP courses by the end of this year, my senior year. I desperately want to experience the "full" college life and move into dorms and party and study 'til the day comes on and all of that. I've always been too sheltered by my family (I've never even been outside my city for more than a day--and that was only twice). </p>

<p>My parents are doing everything they can to make me live with them or in the city. They have pitted my 3 siblings against me, all of whom lived with my parents until they were married; used emotional pathos—they claim that they will die of old age before they see me again if I were to move to another city; and emotionally blackmailed me (apparently, they have to move out to a smaller house if I were to leave and this movement can cause strokes or heart attacks). </p>

<p>They have also resorted to hide my mail away from me (I once saw a letter addressed to my name from an out-of-city college in the mailbox once but I left it there because I was going on a walk; when I came back, my parents claimed the letter never existed while the rest of the mail was in the house).</p>

<p>I don't know....my friend was suspicious that my parents gave birth to me for welfare benefits which my parents do benefit from. Most of the reason they don't want me to move is that they expect that I will support them for the rest of my lives.</p>

<p>Anyways, the situation is extremely difficult for me because I want to follow my dreams while still having the blessings of my parents. My parents though will not forgive me for moving away though. I have until May 1 to file my SIR and my mind's a mess. What should I do? Do any of your parents' want you to stay with them until after college too?</p>

2

<p>What. </p>

<p>The. </p>

<p>Hell. </p>

<p>IMO, they’re bluffing. SIR anyways. Move out. Why should ANYBODY anchor your dreams down?</p>

<p>PS: Try posting this in Parent Cafe for a parental perspective of this issue. . .</p>

3

<p>If you do what you want, chances are your parents are not going to pay for it. Your decision will probably come down to whether it’s worth the debt for the “college experience.” Personally, it’s not worth it for me (I’m commuting), but I understand that other people feel more strongly about this issue and say that it’s worth it.</p>

<p>What about UCSD?</p>

4

<p>My parents aren’t going to pay anything for college. Their income already is around 17,000 a year.</p>

5

<p>Take out loans under your name–my parents are paying nil for my college either. </p>

<p>From the UCSB financial aid package, you were offered a multitude of federal loans, no?</p>

6

<p>Yes I am offered multiple loans from UCSB. All loans though, in my family’s eyes, lead to homelessness and loneliness and failure. The total amount of loans will probably be around 30,000 after the four years at UCSB though (due to AP credits).</p>

7

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<p>Sigh. </p>

<p>No comment. I’ll reply back later.</p>