<p>I originally posted this in another forum, but thought it would be better here:</p>
<p>I currently live in San Diego and my dream college is in Santa Barbara: UCSB. I have worked extremely hard in high school so that I can go to the college I want and will have passed 8 AP courses by the end of this year, my senior year. I desperately want to experience the "full" college life and move into dorms and party and study 'til the day comes on and all of that. I've always been too sheltered by my family (I've never even been outside my city for more than a day--and that was only twice). </p>
<p>My parents are doing everything they can to make me live with them or in the city. They have pitted my 3 siblings against me, all of whom lived with my parents until they were married; used emotional pathos—they claim that they will die of old age before they see me again if I were to move to another city; and emotionally blackmailed me (apparently, they have to move out to a smaller house if I were to leave and this movement can cause strokes or heart attacks). </p>
<p>They have also resorted to hide my mail away from me (I once saw a letter addressed to my name from an out-of-city college in the mailbox once but I left it there because I was going on a walk; when I came back, my parents claimed the letter never existed while the rest of the mail was in the house).</p>
<p>I don't know....my friend was suspicious that my parents gave birth to me for welfare benefits which my parents do benefit from. Most of the reason they don't want me to move is that they expect that I will support them for the rest of my lives.</p>
<p>Anyways, the situation is extremely difficult for me because I want to follow my dreams while still having the blessings of my parents. My parents though will not forgive me for moving away though. I have until May 1 to file my SIR and my mind's a mess. What should I do?</p>
<p>Sadly your parents a passive aggressive bullies. And always will be. So your life will be theirs if you let them. It’s your life. If you can live with the, being irked then I eouldnt let them guilt me into stayng home. If finances aren’t an issue, then you need to decide if you want them to control your life till you get married.</p>
<p>If you have a good FA pkg then go to UCSB. Your parents will get over it.</p>
<p>And this who nonsense of moving to a smaller home if you leave is their choice…they can do it or not do. Since they’re on welfare then maybe living in a smaller home would be better anyway.</p>
<p>Are they thinking that if you go away to school that they will get less welfare since you won’t be living in the house? Is that what this is all about? I don’t know if that’s true. I don’t know if while a student is in college whether that changes household number for welfare. Maybe someone here knows.</p>
<p>And, with other siblings, why would they only expect you to support them? what about the others?</p>
<p>SB is not that far from SD but will they or can they transport you back and forth for breaks or do you have another option? I certainly hope these are idle threats and they would let you come home again. Will you have enough money/FA if they cut you off completely or don’t have any to give you? I hope this works out for you.</p>
<p>With an EFC of zero, your aid package will most likely be better if you live on campus. Assuming everything you say is true, move out of the house and don’t look back. Your parents will try to guilt you into staying and will do what they can to stop you but you do have to move on with your life and congrats to you for trying to get out of the welfare cycle. I would suggest that you go online and change your “home” address–get a PO Box or see if you can use a friend’s address. Have your mail sent there–change your address on the PSAT/SAT/ACT websites too so future mailings go to that address.</p>
<p>You are Vietnamese, and your parents’ combined income is $17,000. UCSB has offered you loans totalling $30,000 (over four years). Any grants? You say you want to be a chemical engineer, although you think that will change. </p>
<p>It’s your future. And apparently also your money. As far as your parents go – no pay no say!</p>