I wrote a, in my opinion, a unique essay that I doubt anyone else could write about. However, my parents think I should write about something else because it is partially “political”. They want me to write about an essay that explains an extracurricular event. I really want to submit this essay because it is very unique to me and gives the admission officers a perspective not found on my application. They told me that if I were to submit the essay, they wouldn’t pay for my tuition.
That’s the craziest thing I ever heard. Was it really that black and white, that if you submit that essay they won’t pay for your college? If so, I get the feeling that this is not the first time – nor will it be the last – that they make threats like this and try to control you in such a harsh way. If you did change your essay (and I don’t think you should), do you think they’d find some other reason to threaten withholding your college tuition? When parents say these types of things, the problem is usually bigger than this one incident.
Can you get a guidance counselor or some other third party expert to read your essay and give an opinion? Do you think that if an authority figure said that your essay is great that your parents would relent?
Then either rewrite it to fit your parents’ request or figure out how to pay for college.
They could be right… hard to say without more details. But it is their money. I guess I’d probably rewrite.
^^^I don’t agree with that at all. It’s the student’s application, not the parents’. Then what if parents want the student to write college papers on certain topics? Research only in certain subjects? Take only the classes that parents approve? Paying tuition doesn’t mean the parents own the college education. There has to be a conversation. If the parents feel the essay is inappropriate, fine – then give suggestions or ask student to come up with something else. These parents are TELLING her exactly what to write the essay about.
When I applied to a top college a few decades ago, my parents had gone out for the evening, and I left my essay on the kitchen table for my Dad to read upon their return. The next day he was laughing so hard, he was crying. He advised against my essay, but I stuck to my guns, and I got in. Talk to your parents, respectfully hear them out, but also let them know how important it is for you to be in charge of your apps. If they love you, and I bet they do, they’ll figure out that it’s your ride, and their job here is to be supportive.
Lol im guessing you’re Indian? my friend had the same problem
BTW, as you could probably tell, my essay was not meant to be comedic. It was a serious essay to all but my Dad. And later when I applied to med schools, he turned out to be my biggest cheerleader. <3 you Dad.
@brantly they want me to get into a good college, but they are afraid of the fact that my essay could do more harm then good and be the reason for rejection at these colleges. I talked to a few teachers and they suggested that I keep it. I’ll talk to my guidance counselor, but yet again my parents aren’t fond of my guidance counselor. Who would u suggest as an “authority figure”?
If the essay is as bad as the parents think, admission(s) won’t be granted and there won’t be any tuition to pay. If admission is granted, the parents will have been proven wrong.
I say go with the essay that is “you.” After all, if a college rejects you for being “you,” it probably is not a fit.
Additionally, I have tried talking to them but that has gotten me nowhere. If you pm me I’d be more than happy to share it with you (certain terms). It is in no way bad or political, if anything it is completely fine. Maybe they are just over-reacting? I don’t know. I wrote another essay before this one, and it didn’t feel right and representative of who I am, yet they exhort that I stick to my previous one.
@utkalp Hahaha ya LOL
Are your parents normally this controlling? If not, wait for them to calm down a bit and have a rational discussion.
Google “Johns Hopkins essays that worked” for examples of good essays. Almost none are about winning awards or participating in typical EC’s. Print out a few and show them that there are a lot of very different types of essays that can work just fine.
if you feel strongly and if they do not have your common app password, they will not be able to see what you finally submitted. Just sayin.’
@preppedparent I have done a great deal of research on college admissions because my parents haven’t done their undergrad in the US, but they did their masters and whatnot over here. What I find ironic is that my parents thought that the FAFSA was specifically for loans, and now they are trying to “help” me with my apps. In summary, I know what I am doing, yet my parents are over-bearing and want to take control my college apps.
I do agree that they aren’t going to skip paying your tuition if you get in. But they will blame your essay if you don’t get in, whether it is the reason or not.
@AroundHere Thanks for the link, that’s what inspired me to write about a diff topic. They typically are controlling. They don’t have my common app password, but I’m assuming that they want me to submit my app infront of them, but I will try to do it at school.
Try your best to work it out without going behind their backs.
Assuming you are going to live on campus, you will have more freedom soon.
Good luck!
Lots of people here would not agree with that kind of parental control over college application essays using the power of the purse. However, it is true that the parents effectively do have absolute power over the student’s college choices in any situation where the student needs parental assistance in either money or financial aid forms, regardless of whether the student or anyone here disagrees with them.
One of my kid’s essays kinda horrified me. Part of it was about being an Atheist, and part was about her decision not to say the Pledge of Allegiance. I told her…Kiddo, those are very controversial topics. I appreciate what you’re trying to say in your essay, and it’s very well written, but honestly, I think it could work against you because people can be very reactive to those topics. You might want to reconsider.
And, of course, she decided she wanted to send it anyway. And she did. And I kinda shook my head and cringed but told myself…it’s her life, live and learn.
Not only get accepted early admissions, she was also given a shockingly good financial aid package and departmental scholarship worth 20K over four years.
She didn’t say “I told you.” but I could tell she was thinking it.
You’re an adult now. It’s your future. Write what you want, turn in what you think is best, and let the chips fall where they fall.
@MaryGJ hahaha that’s interesting, props to her for the scholarship.