<p>Op is a foreign student, since foreign student cannot work legally, if he’s here for boarding school, I doubt he has ever worked. So how is he going to repay any loan.</p>
<p>Very, very few schools will provide financial aid (loans) to foreign students, besides he is NOT independent and comes from a family with asset. There is NO demonstrated need here. (Full need schools still will consider demonstrated need)
He needs his parents to pay the tuition, room & board.</p>
<p>We’ve only heard ONE side of the story, from him, are his parents really that unreasonable or perhaps he is just a spoiled rich kid?
Lot’s of foreign students facing similar dilemma and make the best of it.
He does have choices and some of his options are great options. I still believe the best is for him to work out with his parents for a good compromise.</p>
<p>If money is an issue, this is an easy one. AU provides $20k a year, and will cost $10k less per year than NYU. AU plus $120k is much, MUCH superior to NYU. $120k is the capital for your first business, downpayment on a house, four years of unpaid internships, with lots of money left over. It’s not even close.</p>
<p>The same might be true at UVA, though I don’t know the out-of-state costs.</p>
<p>OP: Your parents are acting in a confusing way because they are deeply disappointed at the admission results --not to say their reaction is justified, but recognize that they are disappointed, probably more so than you are. Give them some time and emotional space so that they can gather and re-orient themselves. Don’t shut them out, listen to them, but offer your thoughts in a mature way and have a conversation going. Since your parents do not seem to be very knowledgeable about U.S. colleges, it’s time for you to take the lead, don’t just react to their reactions. Pick the school you like most, then go to convince them. Don’t worry about the money at this point --they seem to be fully capable of paying and will eventually do so. Recognize that you will not have every problems solved and every feeling soothed before you start in college; get the major and consequential issues taken care of first and leave the minor (feelings, perceptions, etc) to a later day. Don’t worry – your future is not damaged. If you stay level-headed, you still have all the possibilities that an ivy would offer you. </p>
<p>As for those comments that take a broadside on “Asian obsession with the ivys”, I don’t think it’s accurate or fair. Louis Vuitton, Rolex, and BMW, or the Ivy League for that matter, were not made popular by Asian people. So you drive a BMW for its quality, but Asians drive it for vanity? And more Chinese Americans, Korean Americans, and Indian Americans get into top schools because they work harder, not because they are “nerdy” or “not passionate about anything”; the Intels, Siemenses, and many other “passionate” pursuits have plenty of Asian students in them. Please stop stereotyping that Asians are not rational (but everyone else is). …sorry for my sidetracking rant…</p>
<p>I too have been disgusted by the posters in this thread who have ASSUMED that the OP is “nerdy.” Why? Just because he’s Korean?</p>
<p>Some Americans go abroad for college. There are plenty of American parents who woud say you can go to Oxford or Cambridge or maybe St. Andrews in Scotland, because all are fairly well known in the US, but wouldn’t allow a kid to enroll in The U of East Anglia or in Bristol. There are parents who would allow their kids to enroll in McGill, but wouldn’t allow Guelph, because the former is better known in the US. </p>
<p>If this young man is planning to go back to South Korea, then IMO, it is NOT at all unreasonable for his parents to factor prestige in Korea into the equation. I’m not knocking American U at all when I say that attending it might be a really dumb move for someone who plans to live his adult life in South Korea. From his parents’ vantage point, it makes lots more sense to go to university in Korea. I don’t think this makes them ogres. </p>
<p>Now, I do feel sorry for the young man, but frankly, I don’t think the fact that he would be a year older than his classmates in Korea and that would be awkward in the Korean “social structure” is a good enough reason for him to stay in the US and get his degree here–especially when you factor in the fact that, even with merit money, it would be a LOT more money. </p>
<p>I also think some folks are assuming this young man can get loans–rarely an option unless he has an American citizen or green card holder who is willing to co-sign. Others assume he can work. He can, but only a limited number of hours if he has a student visa. Still others seem to assume he can graduate from a US college and stay here. </p>
<p>Don’t count on it. Among other things, at some point, the whole immigration process is going to get even more complicated than it is now. He may be able to stay --or he might not. Nobody has a crystal ball which will allow him to know with certainty that if he stays in the US for college he can get a job and stay here when he graduates. </p>
<p>I know that his parents probably have a limited understanding of American college admissions. However, that really isn’t the issue. The issue is whether getting a degree from NYU or American or UVA will serve the interests of the OP better than getting a Korean U degree if the OP plans to spend his adult life in Korea.</p>
<p>Speaking of assumptions, why does everyone assume the OP is male? The assumption starts a few posts in, and continues… now OP has not stepped in to correct, so it could be valid. Just saying…</p>
<p>Another thought based on Jonri’s comments. OP’s parents may very well have sent him/her to the US for boarding school with the explicit goal of getting into an Ivy. Which probably adds to their dismay that this goal was not met.</p>
<p>Also, OP, you haven’t answered the question I asked in Post #41. Did your parents know that you applied to these other schools that they are not so fond of now? What kind of discussion did you have with them prior to submitting those applications?</p>
<p>OP lullinatalk is a girl
I just happened to read the UVA decision thread & noticed her post there as ‘female’.
~ not that being a girl or a boy should make any difference in your parent’s view of which/where to attend college…
~ now that I know, go talk to your mom. Mom is usually “easier” to talk things with…the whole “mom & daughter” thing. She understood your dad better & will find a way to talk to him.
~ like I said on page 4, show them “newpaper / media” printout about how famous your choice of college is, sometimes seeing things on paper will help them realize how fantastic your college choice is >>> people usually will “convince” themselves <<<<.</p>
<p>~ my kid got accepted to UVA & will be going there! ( I am an Asian parent & we are just soooooooooo excited! )</p>
<p>Just blew my post But thank you again for all the advices.</p>
<p>I am indeed a girl and do not have a military obligation. Thank Mother Nature. I do fall into the “nerdy” category though, Chicago would have rejected me otherwise.</p>
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<p>They had a complete list of schools I was applying to + Michigan. I decided not to apply to Michigan last minute. My school encourages students to apply to a healthy mix of safeties, matches, and reaches (you can see which was which in my list of colleges). They were aware of this but counting too much on an ED acceptance to Columbia. Telling them there is a 94% chance I will not get in was apparently not enough. My best friend got into Princeton, which makes me worse in comparison too.</p>
<p>I am now looking into taking out loans wherever I can. The previous deal was that my parents would fund my way through undergraduate degree so I can get a decent job and pay my own way through graduate school (probably with loans). However, I have to go to an American school this fall even if I go to Korea University because their admission cycle starts in November/December. I don’t think their admission requirement says anything about enrolled college students as long as they graduated high school in a certain period. Also, I think I have to write essays in Korean. I don’t know whether I can still write well in Korean.</p>
<p>I will talk to my parents tonight since the chilling out period is over. I’ll report back here after that.</p>
<p>I think you should hold off on the loan discussion with your parents. If they said they would pay for your undergraduate studies, I think you should work under the assumption that they will still do that. Don’t complicate things (and for heaven’s sake, don’t volunteer to take on a heavy debt load unless you HAVE to). As a parent, I can say, it sounds like they CAN pay, and have offered to. I would assume they will still do that, even if they are disappointed in some of your acceptances. You sound like you are feeling guilty, but I do not think you should do that at all. They committed to pay, and unless there is some major change in finances (eg, someone is sick or something like that), you should not allow their disappointment that you did not have perfect admissions results (in their eyes) guilt you into taking on a lot of debt.</p>
<p>You are waitlisted at U of Chicago, right? So here is a possible strategy… tell them you will contact U of Chicago and work hard to get off the waitlist there. Send any supplemental materials, etc. But tell your parents you still need to make a deposit somewhere else so you can go to school for sure in the fall, and work through the best choice of your remaining options. And act like you assume they will make that deposit just in case U of C doesn’t come through. And who knows… it might.</p>
<p>And… if you need to promise to put in transfer apps from wherever you are in the fall, I guess you could do that.</p>
<p>Agree with the parent who says work on your mom alone if you can… but that might be hard from a distance. Good luck. We are rooting for you!</p>
<p>“The most unreasonable thing they are doing is, though, telling me that I should have applied to other schools. This list includes Emory (the biggest one since I’m in Georgia), UPenn, Cornell, UCLA, UC Berkeley, Rice, Duke, Michigan, and many more.”</p>
<p>I think transferring from UVA/Stern/BC to Berkeley/UCLA/Michigan wouldn’t be too hard. Maybe discuss this with your parents to give them some wiggle room. I don’t think your parents would just be alright if you were accepted at Michigan instead of UVA. They would still vent their disappointment and frustration. Again, I would suggest you choose a school based on your preference, and give them some time to come around. </p>
<p>It’s not easy to be in a foreign country studying alone at such young age, and be given such a lofty goal. Your parents need to understand that what you have accomplished is nothing to be looked down upon.</p>
<p>You can’t take out loans in the US to pay for your education here unless you have a co-signer who is a US citizen or permanent resident. Do you have anyone in mind? Have you talked this idea over with them? The amount of money that you are thinking of borrowing is much more than many people would be either willing or able to sing for. You need to come up with a better plan.</p>
<p>Alright, so I talked to my mom, who’s more open about this whole situation than my dad.</p>
<p>I promised to take the TOEFL again and apply to Korea in August (it looks like there’s some confusion here; Korea University is the name of a university, top 3 in South Korea and very prestigious in Asia). Apparently Korea requires TOEFL of 110+ and I am right on 110. Really redundant considering 110 got me accepted to Stern and waitlisted at UChicago, but I guess I’ll have to. I told them I will apply as a transfer student to Columbia, MIT, and UChicago freshman year. They also made it sound like I will have to financially support my entire extended family, and I made sure I am not. I have no problem with supporting my immediate family, but my uncles’ failures should not have anything to do with me and my education. Georgia Tech is back on the running if I can do the 2-year exchange program with Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology and pay KAIST tuition (=nothing) for two years. My parents’ main concern with Stern is the investment-return ratio. I told them I would be at least minoring in math and computer science in Stern. They are not sure and would not tell me exactly how much they are willing to spare for my education.</p>
<p>I haven’t actually looked up the loan process, but I think I might be able to take out loans in Korea. I really don’t want to do this because of all the horror stories I’ve heard.</p>
<p>So if I understand you correctly… the only US school still on the table is U of Georgia, and only if they will let you do the exchange program with KAIST at the cost of KAIST (not U of Georgia). Or they will pay for U of Chicago if you get in?</p>
<p>That puts a different spin on it that they somehow expect you to support your whole immediate family (or extended!) once you are out of college. This is confusing to me (and probably to you), as the original implication was that they could afford to pay for this education. Now they are saying they are only doing it so you can support them? Do you think they are dramatizing this too much (it sort of sounds like it to me)? It certainly seems like they are trying to manipulate you.</p>
<p>Admittance to Korea University is not easy. Wiki says that the 2010 admittance rate was 6%. It also requires a strong ability in Korean language (you said that you are not sure you can write Korean well anymore). How did your parents think you could get in Korea University? Have you discussed with them about this?</p>
<p>NYU would be a pretty good choice, especially if you’re Korean. It’s pretty well known in that area. Although, the financial burden could be the issue here. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t personally prefer UVA but if you have no option, then that would be the second best choice. You can disregard the rest of the schools you mentioned.</p>
<p>Don’t get too hung up about rankings, nobody really cares after highschool. NYU is not a easy school to get in (especially Stern) although it’s not terribly difficult either. UVA’s a bit less selective but it’s still a good school. You can definitely find great opportunities in the job market with a diploma from either of the schools. They’re pretty well respected universities all around the world.</p>
<p>It’s not like your’e going to a community college(and of course there are plenty of talented people who go there, but generally the brands are not very well respected). Your life didn’t end just because you couldn’t get into Ivies. It’s just a start. BTW, NYU Stern has many students who got accepted into Ivy league and still decided to go there. Mostly, it’s Cornell or Brown but still, your parents seemed a bit too biased.</p>
<p>The OP’s parents underestimate NYU Stern and UVA way too much. They’re both great schools and if you’re especially interested in business/finance NYU Stern is the perfect place to be. I personally would choose NYU Stern over lower ivies, but that’s just me. Also, it would be much more easier to transfer to Top Ivy schools from NYU Stern, than from some Korean University. Take that into the equation, as well.</p>
But thank you again for all the advices.</p>
!</p>