My parents want me to get an arranged marriage...

[collegebound91]

<p>^He already said he didn’t think he wanted to marry his gf, which is good. I mean he’s young, imo why get focused on that so early?</p>

<p>Anyway, </p>

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Until you elevate women to equal parties in a culture, that culture is not one that should be honored. I am sorry if that is offensitve, but as a liberal progressive woman, that is what I believe.

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<p>“Liberal progressive” or just close minded?</p>

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To the OP, do you want to continue in a life that would reject a person you love? What kind of culture reejects people like that. The culture that put women down.</p>

<p>Why hold on to a family that does not want you to be your own man?</p>

<p>If you need to play the game to get through college do it. So what if you don’t follow through and marry some girl who also has no choice in the matter. Serves your parents right.

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<p>I find so much in your post to be ridiculous. Just because another culture has practices you don’t agree with, does not make them any worse than yours/ours! It’s just different. You’re thumbing your nose at something because you feel you’re better than them, and that’s not the case. You have to understand that, for the most part, arranged marriages work pretty well in some countries. And by claiming his family does not want him to “be his own man” is stupid; they DO want him to be a man. Just a traditional one, like his own father was raised to be. You’re basically just touting your American ideals as truth and making yourself look like an idiot, sorry to say. </p>

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ps- so you get disowned. so what. many people have amazingly happy and fulfulling lives without birth family around. They make their own familey of friends.</p>

<p>being disowned and shunned is not the worst thing that could happen. It might be very freeing to be honest.

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<p>Do you even read what you type? Being shunned from your family is not something anyone wants to experience! You aren’t allowed any contact with your family, people you love and have known all your life. Yes you can still live a “happy” life, but it isn’t the same, especially when you’re this young. You shouldn’t advocate that to anyone. </p>

<p>You’re making his parents out to be villians when they’re not. They’re just doing what they feel is right by their son. All of our parents do the same.</p>

<p>And that’s from one “liberal, progressive” female to another. </p>

<p>OP- This is a tough situation. I don’t really believe sitting down and talking with them will ease their minds about anything, only because my parents are pretty traditional (Africans) and speaking with them about a lot of things can quickly escalate into an argument, where they shut their minds to whatever I’m trying to say. I learned though, that I got a lot farther by doing rather than just saying. Like, if I tried completing a task a different way and was successful, then they were more susceptible to listen to me again when I made a suggestion? That sort of thing. So maybe there’s a way you could just show them that you’re able to live a good, (Muslim? Assuming you’re not considering changing your faith) life w/o the strict tradition and arranged marriages. </p>

<p>I really hope this works out for you.</p>