<p>Hey guys! I'm Indian, and I REALLY don't know how to approach my parents with this. I mean, I don't PERSONALLY have a boyfriend (and never have, high school guys are immature and jerkwads -____-. Plus, I go to an All girls' school) but I'm a senior, and soon enough Prom and Winter Ball are coming up and I really wanna have a pre-party with my friends and all their dates, right?</p>
<p>Except for one thing. I don't know how my parents feel about dating and I'm afraid to ask. If I do, they might not trust me anymore and they might think the only reason I'm asking is because I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, behind their back. I don't wanna break their trust because honestly, I haven't lied to them for a while. I mean, I'm not one of those tattle-tale Indian kids who tells their parents everything that their family friends do, but I don't lie about other things like, "Oh I played a prank on this kid today", or stuff like "Yeah I didn't study for that test.", or "Oh, I didn't do my project" .. stuff like that basically. </p>
<p>My parents had an arranged marriage, and it's worked out perfectly. They pretty much never fight and they don't panic over B-'s, or B's in general. They're pretty cool for Indian parents (= </p>
<p>I have ALOT of Indian/Pakistani/Bengali friends and MOST of them have boyfriends and their parents don't seem to like it very much. They're always constantly fighting ... I love my parents, but they seem like the conservative type when it comes to dating. I don't wanna create this like awkward relationship between them just because I wanna know what I can/cannot do this year plus next year at College.</p>
<p>How do your guys' parents feel about this? What about your experiences? How did your family talk about this?</p>
<p>Tell them to mind their own business, and yes i'm being serious. You should make your own decisions without them telling you what to do; be strong and be independent.</p>
<p>I stopped reading after you said guys are "jerkwads."
But then, I continued because I wanted to help. Then, when you said that you don't know how to approach your parents about dating, and whether they would accept it, I stopped and now have advice for you.</p>
<p>Grow the hell up. Consider the possibility that no guy would actually want to date you. What 17 still listens to his/her parents when it comes to miniscule decisions? What 17 year old still thinks the other sex has "cooties." I sure as hell wouldn't even come remotely close to any girl like that. Take my advice, or leave it. Sure, I'm an ******* but I speak the truth. Ultimately, it will help you in the end even if it makes you cry. GROW UP and don't listen to your parents for trivial matters.</p>
<p>Pshh, talking to your parents about dating. most freshman at my school have already *<strong><em>ed. if it doesn't affect your grads then you need to tell your parents to back the *</em></strong> out of your life.</p>
<p>Most of my Indian friends date but keep it a secret from their parents. Obviously, you don't want to take this route. However, I think most of those parents are pretty understanding about their kids going through traditional school functions and know that they're just having fun.</p>
<p>well i am indian so i guess i understand where u coming from. Just like don't care what your parents are gonna say. U know what? Chances are that your parents are prolly gonna be okay with u going to the dance. Of course if your parents are true indians then u r screwed.
God i wuld hate my life if my parents acted like most indian ppl do. I wuld go crazy, i already go crazy when i am around "typical indians"</p>
<p>Lol sorry bout my rant, and i guess i did not help much did i? just that indian ppl specifically have been ****ing the shiut outta me for the past couple of weeks. So obsessed about colleges dammit. </p>
<p>My word of advice is get outta yer parents house and then go smoke and go crazy when in college</p>
<p>I am an ass, but she needs to hear the truth rather than some watered down BS.
it's like those ugly girls on facebook... all their friends comment on their pictures "LOL SO PRETTY I WISH I HAD YOUR LOOKS" yet, in reality, they are ugly mofos.</p>
<p>how can you better yourself without the truth? all of you who are giving her advice that repeals my own is doing this girl a major disservice, and you outta be ashamed of that.</p>
<p>woahhh... deepti, I live IN india, and i have been dating since I was like, what 14? yeah I am a guy so whatever, but still, my female friends have been pretty much in it too since 9th grade and above. I understand the parental problem, but I really wouldnt have thought it would occur in the USA.</p>
<p>See, you just need to tell your parents this is how it is out here,and you want to live your own life. explain that they cant keep on controlling you, since what the hell will they be able to do when you are in university? </p>
<p>Or take the easy way and just lie. Thats what most people do. and if you are caught, have the conversation above.</p>
<p>and all guys are not jerkwads. Is this is a case of "khatte angoor" as we say in hindi, by any chance?</p>
<p>king818 = the jerkwad hs guy. I got a kick out of it. No but seriously, some people have an aura that makes people be a jerkwad to them. For example, there are 4.0ers who avoid the wrath of nerdbashing or competition angst, but other 4.0ers who attract it like a magnet by being obnoxious and not being laidback about anything. The application of that to this situation is that OP, by having this persona of 'oh, my parents say X and Y and they know best' and in general being like 'I dont want to be a normal teenager because god forbid my their might be friction between my parents and me', your really limiting yourself and trapping yourself. Do you want your parents life or your own? parents make decisions until the kid knows whats best, and eventually you will have to decide whats best for you and just do it. Thats a skill that HS should develop; you dont want to go to college with that skill undeveloped.</p>
<p>Weird situation; but at 17 I think you're at an age where you can make these kinds of decisions for yourself, no...?</p>
<p>And stop complaining about how King's a jerk, lmfao, if you can't handle this much talking on the internet that's just sad. A lot of what he's saying is actually true anyways (but some of it is bs, I admit, and that he words it pretty hilariously)</p>
<p>
[quote]
I am an ass, but she needs to hear the truth rather than some watered down BS.
it's like those ugly girls on facebook... all their friends comment on their pictures "LOL SO PRETTY I WISH I HAD YOUR LOOKS" yet, in reality, they are ugly mofos.</p>
<p>how can you better yourself without the truth? all of you who are giving her advice that repeals my own is doing this girl a major disservice, and you outta be ashamed of that.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Have fun being single (or POSSIBLY dating in short-term relationships) for the rest of your life. I know plenty of people (myself included), both in college and college grads, who very much value what their parents think. I think it's you who needs to "grow the hell up".</p>
<p>OP-Just talk to your parents. Chances are they'll appreciate your honesty and it won't be as big of a deal as you thought it would be.</p>
<p>Haha I'm Bengali and the only reason I'm replying is because I think it's only moral to say something to my south-asian neighbors lol. King818 as much as I want to is a jerk, is totally right and I think you should take his advice. I think he could have spoke his point without being a bit hating but each to his own. You're old enough to make the right decisions.</p>
<p>I think you should take in consideration what your parents are thinking. If it's only a dance, just casually ask them can I go and stuff and with my friends etc.</p>
<p>yo why is no one giving the true advice. Indian parents are crazy over burdening. You are 17 for gods sake, you are gonna live with your parents for just one more year. Just freaking listen to them for this year and go on and do whatever u want in college.
Srsly my parents even tell me this. They are like we know in college u are gonna be doing stuff we would no allow but as u live in our roof follow some rules.
Theres no need to create conflict with the ppl who raised you and will pay for your college so u can go to some dances when in one year you are gonna have a sudden influx of freedom.
Suck up and don't goto the dance and then get laid the first day of college. :)</p>
<p>i'm indian as well, and i'm a guy. my mom has always said "girls will only distract you from your studies and you have to focus on your career and don't have time for that", but recently i tried indirectly alluding to it again, as it is senior year and a lot more social things are going on. shes cool with me going to like homecoming and prom most likely but having a girl friend i'm not sure. she seems to be unmoving in her position, and by simply hinting at it makes her think i have a girlfriend and whenever i'm looking at a girls page on facebook or something she questions who that is and all that stuff, which is highly annoying. </p>
<p>and king, this isn't "trivial" in our culture, maybe you should read a book and be a little less ignorant in your assertions. in some families doing something slightly that is disobedient would be considered highly disrespectful, and respecting your parents is a huge part of having a healthy relationships in the indian culture. maybe some families might seem conservative to you, but then again the american culture is considered quite liberal.</p>
<p>and being a indian american being raised in an american culture with your parents being brought up in india is difficult, hard to find a middle ground some times.</p>
<p>a lot of my indian friends have "secret" relationships, so i'm not exactly would be the best route for you OP. i would talk to them if i were you though and then go from there.</p>