<p>Example: different religion, level of education, views on womens rights/civil rights etc.</p>
<p>I was thinking about this because the country I hail from does arranged marriages, so before getting married, people consider class, education, earning potential, religion, family values, even horoscopes and personality. Western society, however, seems to favour romance above all factors, with an expectation that these strong feelings of romantic love will persist throughout marriage or, the marriage is not worth staying in. (This is a generalization but I believe it to be largely true. )</p>
<p>I don't think I could. I mean, if your religion says mine is invalid, or you think I should drop my career to be a SAHM despite knowing how important it is for me or whatever, how can it work? Keep in mind this is "marriage", which ought to be permanent, or a long term commitment. </p>
<p>Personally, i think that key issues such as “he/she dsnt want me to work even though i want to” are signs of deeper issues. In a way the other components you mentioned such as religion, economic status, etc. can lead to relatio.ships based out of “romance” due to similar interests/ circumstances but at the same time differences in any of those areas can be healtjy as well</p>
<p>Different Religion: No problem as long as they aren’t too religious
Different Education: No problem whatsoever
DIfferent Political views: Depends how different, could potentially be a deal breaker</p>
<p>Different Religion: Has to be somewhat similar. For me, that means being one of the Abrahamic religions and not being overly religious.</p>
<p>Different Education: I don’t care whether or not she has a college degree, but we’d have to be on somewhat similar intelligence levels. (I don’t care if she’s smarter).</p>
<p>Different Political Views: I doubt I’d end up dating someone who was drastically different than I was. If she was a member of a different party, I wouldn’t care as long as she wasn’t extreme.</p>
<p>Different Religion: As long as it wasn’t TOO different…I would totally prefer it if he practiced the same faith as me, but you never know who you’ll meet…as long as we believed in the same God, I could deal</p>
<p>Different Education: not a big deal, but he would have to use his intelligence. I say this because I believe that everybody has intelligence, they just don’t always choose to utilize that particular gift</p>
<p>Different Political Views: if we differed on something like the economy, not a big deal for me, but if we differed in our views on moral issues (abortion, gay marriage, death penalty, etc.), there’s no way.</p>
<p>Different Religion: I’m agnostic, so I don’t mind if he’s atheist or practices a faith. He just cannot attempt to impose that on me. I want him to respect my beliefs just as I do to his. </p>
<p>Different Education: Uhhhh as long as he’s ambitious and thinks analytically and logically, I’m good with that. But I want the intelligence to be the same. I don’t want to be intimidated the same way I don’t want to be frustrated.</p>
<p>Different Political Views: The boy that I have a thing with currently is actually slightly different. I am liberal independent (or just a democrat I guess haha) and he’s a conservative independent. But we’ve both acknowledged that our political party LARGELY has to do with our parent’s views. We’re both very open minded about all views and while we disagree on some terms (economics for example) we just laugh about it. Although I’m afraid he’s a homophobe (back in freshman year (we are juniors now) we took this debate class and one of the topics was gay marriage and every single person was for it except for him as he was undecided. However in sophomore year in English class, in the debate unit I was assigned to argue against gay marriage (it was a nightmare but somehow I won) and he criticized me for not using pathos and how my opponent used it well in making him feel sorry for gay people).
Anyway, typing that was useless… But in any event, someone who is open minded is perfect.</p>
<p>Religion is a killer for me because I find Abrahamic religions basically intolerant of my beliefs (no offence to those who practice) and I want my child/children raised in that faith.
I want to keep my culture and that’s very closely tied to my religion. I also probably can’t get along with atheists/agnostics - as friends, sure, but to raise a family with, I don’t think so. I also want to be more religious.</p>
<p>Education: Most people in the field I want to work in marry their colleagues, so this will probably matter.</p>
<p>Political views: I can take a slight difference, but not a lot. They shouldn’t be more liberal than me, though, cuz I’m very liberal. </p>
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<p>Lol, the reason I included that was because on another thread, I asked why someone who <em>really loved you</em>, in a romantic way would ask you to do that and some people told me ‘not to judge’ and I just found that strange.</p>
<p>How are you guys okay with marrying a person from a different religion? I know that some religions discourage that and personally I believe it might lead to future problems. Not trying to be closed minded here.</p>
<ol>
<li>A lot of people in the U.S. are only nominally/culturally Christian and organized religion is not a major part of their lives. And even most truly religious people aren’t literalists (from what I’ve observed). </li>
<li>People whose religion is uncommon where they live might have no other choice. </li>
<li>The philosophical differences between individuals of the same religion (especially when they’re in different denominations) are often almost as big as the differences between those of different religions.</li>
</ol>
<p>But considering the current divorce rate, the “future problems” are probably going to happen either way. :)</p>
<p>Different religion: well, I’m not religious, but as long as they don’t shove it in my face I’ll be fine with it</p>
<p>Different education: do they make money? That’s all I need- help with the family income, even just a little bit. I don’t care about education as long as that happens.</p>
<p>Different political views: I like having opposing views on stuff because then you can learn about the opposite side. There would need to be some continuity, but differences would make it interesting.</p>
<p>I really just need somebody hot who loves me, wants children somehow, and wouldn’t mind moving out of the country at some point in our life. The rest of the things I care about would either be irrelevant or definitely the same because of the fact that I’d be marrying of the same sex.</p>
<p>For the record, being in a different ‘class’, having different levels of education and earning potential, and the families having different values don’t mean the two actual partners involved have different world views.</p>
<p>I also hail from a country where 99.5% of people have arranged marriages, and in my experience families which arrange these marriages rarely factor in whether the two partners would like each other (“He’s a computer scientist and has a very good job, and he’s only 4 years older! What else do you want?”).</p>
<p>I, on the other hand, do value actually loving the other person more than everything. That being said, I don’t think I’d be able to love someone with significantly different world views. </p>
<p>That means, religion wise, I don’t care unless she tries to force it on me.
Level of education- well, I guess it depends? I’m not sure what I’ve have in common with someone who dropped out of high school by choice and works as a manager in the local 7-11. Something I care a lot about in a significant other is how ambitious they are in life, and in general the most ambitious do get more education.</p>
<p>Political views are a deal breaker. If there’s anything I feel strongly about that we disagree on, it’s just not going to happen cause I love me my social issues (though her being a woman, and also a woman who likes woman will probably place her in the same hemisphere as me).</p>
Migraine, I feel like you’ve misunderstood the concept of arranged marriage. </p>
<p>Most importantly, it is the children who is ultimately the one who is expected to determine whether or not they like each other, which I think makes sense. After the parents give the approval, the children are the ones who ultimately decide.</p>
<p>Now, about the factors that the parents take into account- parents and kids talk about what the kid wants. This is where parents get their factors from- their kids.</p>
<p>And TBH, the details about the factors parents are using aren’t really fully shared with anyone except for adults who are very, VERY close to the prospective bride/groom. If you’re a kid or sort of close, you might get a snippet like, “he should be four years older than her.” But there’s usually a lot more going on than that.</p>
<p>I think in my country:
a) family values and general outlook tend be similar to the family
b) marriage is also a union of families, a way to set up for a future generation and a part of society</p>
<p>For instance (I’m trying not to generalize), one group of people, in a certain area of my country, have a reputation for being more ‘money minded’ and then run their own businesses. Another group might be known for being more scholarly. (These groups exist IRL, but I’m simplifying it a bit). You may think this is an insignificant difference, but even when these individuals come to the US or Western countries, they usually don’t send their kids to college or if they do, it’s usually low-tier. The other group typically tries really hard to send their kids to the <em>best</em> school.</p>
<p>These philosophies, also govern religious life and to some extent, family life. I don’t think a kid, unless he is a super rebel type will completely abandon all his family’s values.</p>