Also I’m unsure of my exact GPA but it is around 3.7, so my grades are my weaker part of my application. I do think that have strong enough extracurriculars to make up for it though.
As a parent I would appreciate a heads up along the lines of “You know at school they are starting to talk to us a lot about colleges, where we can get in and what the finances are. Do you think in a week or two you and dad and I could talk thru this?”
That gives them time to talk about it. They may not even be on the same page.
OP, just so you know - Howard is a historically black university, and about 91% African American. That may not matter to you (or may even appeal to you), but I just wanted to inform you about it.
If you are interested in Barnard and big cities turn your parents off, you might be interested in small colleges (women’s and co-ed) that are nearby large cities like Scripps (or any of the Claremont Colleges, like Claremont McKenna, Pomona, and Pitzer), Bryn Mawr (or Haverford or Swarthmore), or Agnes Scott (at the latter you would be eligible for potential big merit aid, and Atlanta is easily accessible by train from ASC). Oglethorpe is another small liberal arts college that’s technically in Atlanta but really in a more suburban-ish part of Atlanta; you would be eligible for their big merit scholarship competition. Another thought is Princeton - not in an urban area, but you could easily reach both New York and Philadelphia by train from Princeton. There’s also Vassar and Marist (both in Poughkeepsie, about 1.5-2 hours from New York) and Bard College (in Annandale-on-Hudson, which is close-ish to New York but I can’t remember how long it takes to get there).
If they are okay with smaller cities, Yale could be an alternative; New Haven is a smaller city but you can get to New York in 2 hours.
Another alternative is Oxford College, which is a small two-year division of Emory University. After two years you transfer to the main campus - your parents might be more comfortable with that, since you’ll be older and have a group of people you know.
I do agree, though, that you don’t have to live in a large city during undergrad. You can do a summer internship with the State Department or something similar in college and simply move to a large city after graduation.
But depending on your major, that summer internship may not be paid…
@jlh6612 – without knowing more about your EC’s and specific courses, I’d have to say that Barnard is a reach for you – they tend to value GPA over test scores. I think my d’s unweighted GPA was around 3.85. That’s isn’t a reason not to apply – it was a reach for my daughter too, and she got in to Barnard and other reach schools. However, once you have the discussion with your parents over finances, I think it might be better for you to focus heavily on schools which are strong matches for you, or even safeties. Tell your parents that you would also like to apply to a few reaches, but keep in mind that you have to be admitted to a school before you can attend.
I don’t agree with the poster who said Barnard is a good fit for someone who is “slightly sheltered.” The campus is fine, but the students tend to be independent-natured and spend a lot of social time off campus. I think the students who end up being unhappy there are often ones who are frustrated when the dorms clear out on weekends (not like a commuter school, where students go home - but because the student are all engaged in activities off campus). Maybe you would be able to convince your dad that it is a safe place for his darling daughter.
You might want to look at Fordham – more of a safety/match for you, but with a strong academic reputation - and if you are a likely National Merit finalist, then great financial aid.
You could look at metropolitan areas instead of actual cities, where you could travel less than a half hour by train or bus and get into the city.
And OP, I’m not sure if anyone mentioned this, but did your parents put together their list of colleges? Is there any possibility of a middle ground - maybe a few schools they like but also do meet your criteria?
(and to be honest, I went to school in a major US city, but it did not feel like I was “in the city” because the dorms were all within campus. It’s not like you go to Columbia and they throw you out into the general population of NYC for example.)
Thank you everyone fro replying it helped a lot!! However after talking with my mom more about this now she says that I should only be looking at public schools instead of private. It is not about cost so I’m kind of unsire why she thinks that. I asked her and she didn’t really give me any reason for why I shouldn’t be looking at private schools just that public schools offer the same education and both her and my dad went to state/ public schools. I looked at public schools and not many seem to offer programs that I’m interested in or in locations that I want to be in. I’m just more confused now about where to go than before this whole conversation started… Any advice on schools or parents who have an opinion on public vs private schools?
I have a family friend who always said that private education offers a more one-on-one environment, smaller class sizes and a better, overall environment to grow academically. For the cost, it’s better than OOS public. There’s nothing wrong with in-state publics. Some have a great variety of programs for a good cost, but they’re also bigger and you won’t have as much individuality" within the classroom that people seem to venerate.
I personally like the privates but applied to a mix of both public and private.
Again if they’re controlling the cost, it’s fine to listen to them but it’s YOUR CHOICE. You will be going here for the next four years, not your parents. If you don’t like that big campus style or feel, a smaller school or a private school may be better.
Even though your parents won’t admit it, I have a feeling this is a financial issue more than anything.
Statistically very little difference from 33 to 34 or 35. I’m not crazy about the idea of my children going to big city schools, either. Safety, expense, hassle, etc. Your parents may have experience that you don’t understand, just like you think they don’t understand you. You have some time to talk things over with them. Try to be more open about their suggestions, and they just might be more open with you.
I have a couple of suggestions. First, consider the size of the school you want to attend and discuss that criterion with your parents. If a smaller LAC better suits you (smaller classes that are generally taught by profs, not T.A.s), try to explain that to your folks. There are a number of LACs located in and around large cities, some of which give merit aid (e.g., Macalester in Minn/St. Paul). Many public schools are in large cities, so I’m having a bit of a logical disconnect as to why your parents are are insisting on public schools. How would they feel, for example, if you were to choose CUNY? This brings me to my second bit of advice: perhaps you want to look at Honors Colleges within larger public universities….they provide a smaller LAC-type feel within a larger public university. CUNY’s Macauley’s Honors college comes to mind, as do Clark Honors College at the Univ. of Oregon and Barrett’s in AZ. Perhaps you should ascertain which cities may or may not be off the table, and/or if a small campus outside a city would provide them with greater peace of mind. For example, how about Sarah Lawrence? A small, LAC that is a quick train ride out of NYC. Or perhaps a smaller city (like Philadelphia or Washington D.C. might be more palatable for them. Finally, there is always grad school and the rest of your life for living in a large city, so don’t despair. Big city life ain’t all it’s cracked up to be (and I was born and raised in NYC (Manhattan), so that about as urban as you can get. Couldn’t wait to leave!).
That’s all I’ve got (and I’m a parent, BTW)
You might see if you can get one of your parents to visit an LAC with you, just to see what it is like. Maybe try to arrange visits to a few different types of schools – an LAC, a large state university, a mid-sized university.
Depending on your parents’ income, private universities may cost LESS than upublic universities - especially if we’re talking OOS publics.
Public universities are different from private universities. If you look at the Top Research Universities list or the Top LAC list, you’ll notice that almost all of them are private. There’s a reason. Well there are lots of reasons! (Public service mandate to the state/different missions, budget cuts, endowment…)
However, that may NOT apply to you - even if everyone likes more comfort and connections :p, they may not be necessary.
In any case, you’ll have to apply widely.
First, figure out if you would qualify for fee waivers (do you qualify for reduced lunch? Participate in AVID, TRIO, Upward Bound…?) Second, figure out your EFC; if it is zero or up to 8,000, then your best bet financially is to apply to colleges that meet 100% need (all of them private) as well as to competitive and automatic full tuition/full ride scholarships in addition to your “usual suspects” (flagship honors, etc). If your EFC is 25,000 or more, then focus on merit scholarships everywhere as well as your in-state options. In order to create the proper college strategy and end up within budget, you need to have the budget number… therefore, you need to have a ballpark number from your parents. Bringing them different colleges’ NPC results is useful (enter 75k and 140k if you don’t have an idea), as is knowing whether they’re unable to meet EFC.
A recent article on the world’s safest cities has New York as the only US city in the top ten. There’s some chance an article like this could be influential to your parents.
(Business Insider: 20 Of The Safest Cities In The World)