<p>Hello, I have done a first draft of my short answer. Would anyone please comment on it? :)</p>
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<p>I enjoy keeping exotic pets which I capture from the wild. Some time ago, I reared caterpillars in a biscuit tin and fed them dew-moistened lime leaves every day. What I truly appreciated was the unparalleled elegance of metamorphosis; that a caterpillar could grow from a brownish half-inch long larva to a two-inch long green leaf-muncher before miraculously transforming into a brilliantly decorated butterfly was really a source of curious delight. More recently, I maintained an aquarium full of aquatic pets (tadpoles and guppies caught from the drain), in which I attempted to build a self-sustaining ecosystem throwing heaps of water plants inside, sealing the aquarium tight and providing only light via a 24/7 fluorescent lamp. Unfortunately they all died days later, and until now I am still dissatisfied for being unable to pinpoint my error exactly. Now I still keep guppies in a Tupperware with water weeds, which I gladly observe in my spare time.</p>
<p>Hi!</p>
<p>It's really good, and it shows a genuine interest. I have a few comments.</p>
<p>Firstly, it's 156 words - I would get it under the limit. Apparently on the short essay they're REALLY keen on this.</p>
<p>Secondly, I would think about removing the "I am still dissatisfied for being unable to pinpoint my error exactly." Not only is that sentence clunky with the "still dissatisfied for being unable" but it doesn't put you in a great light. Rather than saying you have no idea, try and suggest a reason.</p>
<p>Thirdly, the sentence "What I truly appreciated..." - It's great up till the "was really a source.." That latter part I just mentioned makes the sentence FAR too long. New sentence needed I reckon.</p>
<p>Finally, it's picky, but "gladly observe"? Sounds a bit strange. "keenly attend" possibly? even "enjoy looking after."</p>
<p>Hope I've helped!</p>
<p>Hey, thanks for the prompt reply and comments! Would this be an improvement?</p>
<p>I enjoy keeping animals which I capture from the wild. Years ago, I reared caterpillars in a biscuit tin and fed them dew-moistened lime leaves daily. What truly captivated me was the unparalleled elegance of metamorphosis; that a caterpillar could grow from a brownish half-inch larva into a two-inch green leaf-muncher before miraculously transforming into a gaudy butterfly was really a source of curious delight. More recently, I maintained an aquarium filled with aquatic pets (tadpoles and guppies from the drain), in which I attempted to build a self-sustaining ecosystem – throwing heaps of Elodea inside, sealing the tank tight and illuminating it 24/7 using a fluorescent lamp. Unfortunately they all died eventually, and until now I am still uncertain what exactly went wrong (my guess is the light intensity). Now I still keep guppies in a Tupperware with water weeds, which I keenly attend to in my spare time.</p>