Hi
My computer geek son is driving me crazy - We have been looking at schools and going thru the process. When we went to see WPI - he didn’t like it - not “techy” enough and too quick a turn-around on their semesters (7 weeks).
Now that some of his friends like WPI my son is changing his mind and thinking about going there! We are telling him he could do much better but he doesn’t want to listen to us and I don’t know what to do!
He is a MIT legacy. His SAT is 2000 (Math 720, reading 700 and is taking it again), AP in CS a 5, SAT Subject Math 1 710, waiting on Chemistry. GPA 3.68 , all Honors/AP courses at a prestigious NE Prep school.
He is also applying to RPI,CMU,Brown,Cornell,MIT,Bucknell,Princeton, - Syracuse,UMASS Amherst (safeties). He is being courted by RPI and will most likely get accepted there. His first choice is MIT (of course), followed by Cornell, Brown, & CMU. BUT if he doesn’t get in anywhere, he’s thinking he’ll go to school with his friends at WPI - I say that is not enough reason to choose a school.
Can anyone give me advice? I don’t want to stand in his way, but I don’t want to spend tons of money on a school that isn’t as highly regarded as some of the other schools.We plan to have him take out some loans but we will pay for 75-80% of it (we don’t qualify for FA). We are thinking if he doesn’t get into any of the schools he’d be better off at a state school (UMASS) that is pretty well rated and then either transfer out or apply to the Ivy’s for Grad school. I don’t want him picking a school he initially didn’t like because his friends are there
Breathe. Then Breathe again. Nothing is going to happen in the next 24 hours that will cement your son’s future. College is months away, and the winds can blow through his and his friends’ lives and situations can be very fluid and flexible over the next few months.
All you are doing now is figuring out which colleges he is going to apply to. And unless he is planning to apply ED somewhere, there should be a good number of months before he has to make his final decision. So let him apply to WPI. If you try to fight him on it, you could cause him to dig his heels in even further.
He won’t get into MIT with those scores. CMU computer science is ridiculously competitive. His scores are low for Brown, Cornell and Princeton; he probably won’t get into those either. Also, your concern is valid. It seems like you have a good idea already. His friends haven’t gotten into the school yet anyways, so you could tell him that. It’s not like they are all necessarily going there.
I only have one school I’m “insisting” my D apply to. I’m only paying for 8 applications (she is applying to more but with her own money). When the acceptances (hopefully more than one) come in, she will decide but within the context of what her parents will contribute financially.
You still have a lot of power, and as a smart kid, he knows that. Give him a noogie and tag him in embarrassing pictures on the social media. That’ll fix his wagon!
I’d suggest adding a match or two to you son’s list. The list you’ve given consists of RIP, Bucknell, some absurdly selective schools where (as a few posters have noted) he’ll probably be among the 90%+ of applicants who are rejected, and his safeties.
He isn’t getting into those reaches anyway. Be happy that he has what appears to be a safety he likes. His reasons for not liking it to start with seem weak to me anyway. I agree that he needs more matches. One of my kids attended her safety – decided she liked it as well as the higher ranked schools she got into, and got nice merit aid – it turned out really well for her, great experience and great job after college.
MIT does not consider legacy status and I have witnessed several instances of highly qualified legacies being rejected. With your son’s SAT score, I think MIT is pretty much out of reach for him. The same goes for the top five or six schools on your list.
As others have said, he has a very small chance of getting into those top schools - MIT, CMU, Corenll, Brown, and Princeton. These schools take in very few transfers, too.
If “being courted by RPI” means getting a lot of letters that say “We’d love to have you apply”, etc., that is just marketing and should not be interpreted as being courted by the school.
Syracuse weighs demonstrated interested very heavily.
He might very well end up with WPI and UMass as his choices.
By the way, there is certainly nothing wrong with WPI. It is a great school.
I agree to manage his (and your) expectations. He may well just get into the match schools, so let him fall in love with them, or at least see reasons to be happy to go there. Having friends is a good reason.
As far as his indecision…I hear ya. Mine were all over the map, too. Sometimes they applied to places I knew they either wouldn’t get into or wouldn’t like, sometimes they refused to apply to places that were great matches for them. The list changed constantly right up until the end.
And in the end both kids were accepted to college and made choices and today are doing well.
You can certainly set limits on the # of schools he can apply to and you can ask questions to nudge him one way or the other.
At least he has some interest, no matter how trivial the reason.
My computer geek son just lets me drive the boat, which also drives me a little crazy.
I would let him apply to WPI, and other schools, and let him look at COA and net price calculators. Maybe he could go to a state school and save the difference (or not take out as many loans).
Hey all - I just thought to check for responses - sorry I am so late to the party
I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and now I am even more depressed - but do value a view from outside the situation. I guess hope does spring eternal and we keep “hoping” he’ll get in somewhere he wants to go. He is applying EA to MIT and ED to Cornell in hopes that will boost his chances. So far he hasn’t bugged me about putting WPI back on the list as he is so excited about the “possibility” of attending CMU or Cornell. I realize those chances are very low and I think he knows that too…
Honestly if he doesn’t get in anywhere he wants Id rather save the money and pay instate tuition for UMASS Amherst which has a decent CS program (and is close to us too!)
Sadly there are no other schools he wants to consider/look at - his counsellor suggested other schools like Case Western, RIT, Trinity, Lehigh, Brandeis… he’s not interested…I think he is so excited about the other schools on his list he can’t see past it. I personally am so sick of the whole process - I am literally having nightmares about it. State school is looking better and better to me - save the money and reapply for Grad school.
I would seriously try to limit the number of reaches- MIT, CMU, Cornell and Princeton. Look up the CDS for each school. CMU even has the acceptance rate for each school and CS is historically one of the lowest acceptance rates.
I agree he needs more matches. I understand that some people recommend that as long as he is happy with getting into his safety, you can apply to a bunch of reaches but I disagree and think it’s a bad idea. First of all, it’s demoralizing to get so many rejections and second of all it severely limits the choices at the end of the process.
Take a look at CWRU again. Great school. We went on a tour and it’s got a very techy and nerdy vibe. The opportunities for cultural outings are phenomenal in that area. But they love interest and it’s getting late in the game. My D is applying with an SAT of 2280 (CR 800 M760 Wr 720) and we don’t consider it a safety for her.
Don’t worry so much. It really will be OK in the end and they will thrive where they land with our support and love. Coming from a mom with a senior at CMU who thought she was going crazy too.
We also did a tour of Trinity College- the nicest students we encountered on the college tour my D did last spring. It’s a great school too with liberal arts and engineering, not very common for an LAC.
Thank you so much everyone. Its so hard bc there are so many things you can’t control. I know he’ll be ok but its tough when he REALLY wants to attend one of his reaches - he’ll be so let down if he doesn’t get into any -
If your school’s GC is semi-competent, he/she has probably told your son something to the effect that “You probably won’t get into any of [his reaches]. Most people don’t. It doesn’t reflect on you as a person, it reflects on the fact that there are 20,000 qualified applicants to these schools for 2,000 spots. Maybe you’ll get in - that would be a nice surprise - but don’t count on it, and don’t fall in love with a particular school before decisions come out.”
As others have noted, there are dozens of schools where any given student can thrive. Remembering this single fact has helped me keep admissions-related stress to a minimum. In 2 weeks’ time, these decisions will be out of everyone’s hands save those of admissions officers, and HS seniors across America can breathe a little easier.
A little suggestion if anyone wants to pursue an CS major: there is a 3+2 program when a students do 3 years in a Liberal Art college and do the last 2 years at another Engineering school. Columbia and WUSL are 2 very reputable schools that do this program with a bunch of affiliated LA Colleges. It can be the way.
However, just in case no reach schools accept him, I think your son should still be happy at UMass with its very solid CS program.
Do you know about the Common Data Set? Most schools have them if you Google. It is solid evidence you can show your son of the test scores needed to get admission. Remember that many of the lower scoring students are hooked in some way. I feel like you really need to get in front of this a little more, and get the GC to help you if needed. While you may be happy if he just has UMass as an option in the spring, it is pretty different than the other schools in his list – and he may not be happy. The search should start with matches and safeties, they should not be an afterthought – and now that you can see that he needs them, allowing him to fantasize away and not making sure he has matches is not a recipe for a happy spring.
Part of the problem is he doesn’t want to go too far away - mostly NE or NY or PA - He also doesn’t want a real LAC - not techie enough. He wants a real nerd environment (CMU,MIT<CalTEch) or an Ivy. This is the problem. I am at my wits end and honestly feel like after all the $$ we spent on his elite private HS if these are his choices (UMASS maybe WPI), then I give up. I know this sounds crazy, but it doesn’t really seem fair that kids who are qualified and can do the work won’t get in to the top schools. I know a mom who split up her family and moved her younger kids to Tokyo so that they would have a better shot at the elite colleges! Is this what college has come to??? - Are Intl kids getting a better shot so the schools look diverse? We literally had an admissions office from an Ivy say to us regarding admission “I had an open spot to fill so I looked at what country I didn’t have a student from and just picked one” - WHAT??
I feel so disenchanted and disillusioned about this whole process. Of course if he goes to a “match” he’ll probably be fine, but not as “fine” as if he had MIT (or similar) on his resume. I know this to be true as hubby is an MIT Alum (BS & MS) and this has opened tons of doors for him that wouldn’t have happened without those three letters on his resume. I want my son to be happy and for us to feel like all our sacrifice to pay for HS wasn’t completely wasted. I may be out of line here, but I feel just so sad: Sad for him (his dreams crushed) and sad for us, his parents, bc we (like all you out there) had only the best hopes for him. This process is truly soul crushing…
