My son was dismissed from his due to poor academics. He had a rough go, due to a bout with Meningitis followed by depression. He ended up leaving after the 1st semester of his second year. After the holiday break he took the second semester off, as well as, the summer. He wants to return to college, not the same one, but unsure as to the approach. Can anyone help?
I would think that it is too late for him to go to school this fall. Is he considering starting during the Spring semester of 2018? Since he had health problems which led to his poor academics, I would get in touch with schools that he might be interested in attending to to see if they would take that into consideration in admissions. I have also heard about retroactive medical withdrawals where a student’s academic record is erased with sufficient documentation of medical problems, but it may be too late for that also. Community college might be a good way to transition back to college next year or at least for this next semester if enrollment is still possible.
Will he need financial aid? Would he be commuting or living on campus? What types of colleges (state, private, LAC, etc) is he thinking of attending and what field of study? What were his stats in high school vs. college. All of this would help you get appropriate advice.
Why not consider a local community college? I bet it’s not too late for the fall.
It would keep him close to his doctors, and give him a chance to pull his grades up and research schools for a fall 2018 transfer?
Perhaps he can attend a community college. If he does well enough there, he may be able to transfer to a less selective four year school, or gain readmission to his first four year school, to complete a bachelor’s degree.
Great minds…
It is not to late to talk with some of your state directionals…at a minimum it might be worth the effort to figure out what is transferable and salvageable from freshman year as it sounds like sophomore year there are no classes completed on his transcript. Unis and even colleges often have room for non-freshman left unfilled in mid-summer although housing can be an issue which adds another layer of complexity. If his freshman year grades were good he might even be able to shoot for more selectivity. Make sure before you let him go anywhere away from home base the depression is gone or under control.
Thank you all. I believe he should stay closer to home at a community college a little while longer. Yes he will need financial aid, we will look into that, but one bridge at a time.
Totally agree with those recommended to restart from community college for OP’s son. Personal experience and know many who dropped out their first 4 year university, go to CC, boosted academic and confidence, and transfer to another similar quality 4 year university as their first one and graduated with honors. CC allows your son to select his own pace of study and has smaller classes which provide more interaction with his professors. Take care!
If he suffered from meningitis and depression, did he register with the office for disabilities and have any accommodations. He can do this with a doctor’s letter and other documentation of a diagnosis and its impact on his work. Students who are registered may have extra time on assignments, extra advising, excused absences, notes from class, postponed exams, single rooms, reduced course load, and other appropriate supports.
It may be too late but it sounds like he could have had a medical withdrawal, which wipes grades clean. Did he or you discuss his leaving with a dean or other administrator?
I do think it is worth it to talk to the original school and tell them about the health and mental health challenges. Did the meningitis possibly cause the depression? Does he have residual effects?
Community colleges can be wonderful for relaunching but he can probably take a class or two at a state university or other school with continuing education, as a non-matriculated student. He might want to look into some adult learner programs that allow progress with one or two classes at a time, too. Actually, our state u. allow that as well.
If he has other non-academic and/or vocational interest this might be a time to look into those too.
Believe me this is not the end of the world. I hope he is healthy!
Agree with all the above advice. CC sounds like a good place for him to re-start. And it is unlikely but perhaps he could call his old school and see if he could get a retroactive medical withdrawal from his classes if you have documentation of his issues from doctors.
Hope he gets healthy and back on a positive path soon.
He was registered with the Office when he began school his freshman year due to his ADD and medication. Very disappointed in their minimal help. They offer accommodations for sure; extra test taking time, opportunity to sign up for a quiet room. But very little else. Medications have unfortunate side effects that lead many times to serious depression and suicidal tendencies. But the office didn’t even know that. I was extremely disappointed that they know that they have students on these meds away from home in dorm rooms and they don’t even check up on them when they don’t show up for school for a week, two weeks, three weeks! They told me that issues like this will be brought up in their next meeting. They believe that it is a topic never addressed.
True disabilities offices in unis are set up
primarily for kids that are self sufficient but just need more academic support but most have a health services office that would be the point of contact for mental health support or medication issues. I do know one uni my son looked at that had a weekly support type program where students could sign up to check in but again the program was student driven and I doubt they went looking for kids who were no shows. If he isn’t stable I agree it might be best to have him live at home until he is ready to be independent again.
If he does need financial aid, I believe the deadline was months ago for this upcoming semester. Community college is probably the best (maybe only) option as he could commute and take the amount of classes that your budget will allow. Then make sure you complete the FAFSA for his 2018-19 school year this fall and reconsider your options in a few months based on your son’s mental health and his ability to handle his CC classes. Good luck to you and your son.
@Mom8319 I had to medically withdraw my daughter in March from the second semester of her freshman year. She was about 5 hours away OOS from home. She had severe depression and anxiety. She suffered it during her Sr year in high school but was much better by graduation and thought she was ready to go away. She did great start her first semester but suffered a bad bout of pneumonia in October,which made her get behind in her sorority homecoming hours (put a bad taste in her mouth because she was really ill and they didn’t care) then her BF from home broke up with her right before Thanksgiving and in two weeks upon returning, had emergency appendectomy during finals week and missed 1 final.
She got a job part time upon returning home and she immediately got into counseling. She enrolled in the 4 year uni here in our town. None of her hours from first semester went towards anything here, as her major was animal science and now she is in the business college. Fall semester she got a 3.75 and same for spring. Took two summer courses with an A (GPA won’t count as it was JC). She was invited to Honor Society and Honors College and on Dean’s list. She was able to discontinue anxiety meds about 3 months after returning home and anti depressants in 5-6 months. She has had a complete turn around, but it has been a daily growth and not always easy.
It can get better. Each case is different and the care is essential. I wish you the best and your son.
My son got a retroactive medical withdrawal after he failed due to a nervous breakdown. Definitely check with your son’s school if that would be possible for your son. He’d lose all his credits - but he’d have a clean academic record, a clean slate to begin again.
But even if he can’t get a medical withdrawal, do assure him that it’ll be OK. Lots of kids flame out for all kinds of reasons - and then get back on their feet, return to school and do just great.
And having gone though this, all I can say is that now’s the time for you to be as caring, nonjudmental, supportive and loving as you can with him. He’s probably hating himself right now, and it’s important that he knows you still believe in him and in his future.
College – even community college – can wait until he’s ready. His health should be his priority #1. Wishing you the best.
Definitely check on the retroactive medical withdrawal…that way he can restart with a better GPA.
Is his mental health under control?
Is his physical health under control?
One path is to retake any courses he failed at your local CC. Keep going there through the equivelent of the second year and then transfer to your State Flagship.
OP- I think you were expecting far too much from any college/U. This is no longer childhood with hand holding for daily life. It is possible your son was not ready for the independence required of college, even if it is a disability and not just a maturity issue. Some people need a more sheltered life than most. It is not a school’s job to do everything for every student. Some students cannot handle the academics, others cannot handle the other aspects without extraordinary help. I know it is frustrating to have an adult child not be able to cope with circumstances but do not blame the school for failing its role. Actually, do not blame anyone, yourself included.
Notice how gentler posters are focusing on the most important thing- your child’s health and well being. Part of this involves making sure he learns to take charge of managing his life. This will do more for his self esteem than all of the parental taking care of things can. It is no longer what you and society can do for him but helping him realize the tools he has to do things. Hand over the reigns of control with your backup so he can regain confidence in himself. Have him do the research for his options. ADD is part of him and he ultimately is the one who has to cope with it.
btw- not all students should go to their state flagship U. For many there are a lot of other four year U’s that are more appropriate.
People misunderstand the role of a disabilities office. I have heard them referred to as “guard dogs of the curriculum.” They are really there to filter requests and protect the school, in my opinion. Disability offices will take care of physical access and that type of thing. And they give students letters to give each professor stating they are registered. Often there is no list of accommodations on the letter and the student negotiates with the professor.
However, I disagree with wis75’s perspective. There are many other types of support available through health services (especially with a history of meningitis), mental heath center and counselors, advisors, tutors and often there are deans or other administrators who will view documentation from, say, a counselor or doctor’s appointment, and then email professors asking them to give extra time or whatever.
In addition, many people whose kids have ADHD hire a coach, sometimes someone who works by phone or online.
Your son no doubt needs support but this does not mean he cannot be independent. He deserves a level playing field. I wish colleges would educate parents as to how things work but that really is an increased work load for them so we have to do it ourselves 
He will be okay. Check out getting a medical withdrawal and if not possible, he can still explain he had meningitis followed by depression. There are many college programs that can benefit him. Often schools that allow a reduced course load or even just one or two classes at a time is a good place to start.
Just want to add that he should have a psychiatrist near school to vent to about side effects of his meds. That is so far away from the function of the disabilities office or any other administrator or advisor. Some schools have staff psychiatrists or one at the health center, or sometimes you have to find your own.
There are better options for ADHD medications these days, that don’t have the ups and downs of the old ones. He an probably do better with a new one.
I am confused about the meningitis. Did that play a role in his school problems?
Retroactive medical withdrawal for the first semester sophomore year. Take care of it for him, or with him if he’s able to. Having a clean slate will lift a huge burden off his shoulders.