My UC Essay #2: Looking For Any Sort of Feedback(:

<p>Hi guys!
I was wondering if someone could look over my UC essay. It's pretty short and straightforward (I hope).
And-most important- let me know any advice or just any feedback overall? THANKS(:</p>

<p>Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?</p>

<p>I recruit and build armies regularly. </p>

<p>Her brows furrowed; eyes twitching, I thought, oh no. I slowly backed away from my mom and entered my brother’s room where I found him and my Dad playing an intense game of Candy Land. </p>

<p>“Okay, look. Mom’s mad right now and I didn’t do anything wrong.”</p>

<p>That’s how I start off with the recruitment. Present the problem and my side of the story. First one’s the winner, right? I quickly explained how I told my mom to stop being so selfish. Mother-daughter relationships are difficult. </p>

<p>I then proceeded to ask my—soon to be soldiers—annoyed brother and dazed Dad, “I mean, isn’t she?! She always gets her way!” </p>

<p>And slowly I dug my memory to find traces of battles that my Mom and Dad dueled out. Using them to my advantage, I brought them up and asked him if he agreed. Gleefully, I watched as my Dad’s face drowned with a look of recognition. </p>

<p>Fired up, my Dad and I marched out of the room to my Mom, while my little brother—excited to see what would go down—scrambled to join us in our migration. </p>

<p>As the captain of my army, my beloved soldiers would become my allies as we proceed to oppose the big, bad mother.
But I am no heedlessly ambitious individual. In fact, my boldness is just as present as the sun on a rainy day. To persuade, is arduous and to recruit, a task. But I am daring. I can surpass the binds and barriers created by my conscious self. Consequently, these abilities to persuade and influence others push me to use them for a more universal purpose.</p>

<p>My capacity to communicate in order to gain allies and supporters will be useful in the future when I study business economics and communicative sciences to improve reputations and build stronger communities and partnerships.</p>

<p>Assembling relationships, gaining allies and ultimately solving problems are my goals in studying and pursuing my intended majors. I desire to improve my ability in these specific qualities by attending a higher education school, and growing into an individual who will one day be capable of assembling a community, a nation to stand for a purpose through the art of communication backed by knowledge of business and politics; for the world stands on these pillars now and in the foreseeable future. </p>